To the Goodbyes We've already said
by Celestial Seraphim
Summary: What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving...SessKag
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:** I _know_, I _know_ what the hell am I doing writing another fic when I have three to continue. I blame_** YoukaiYume**_ lol this was prompted/inspired by her amazing piece of art _**'Don't Go'**_ and there's going to be a lot of things influenced by some of her other pictures and a few of my other SessKag stories I have in mind. I hope you guys enjoy and I _swear_ I'm writing my chapters XD I already have half of **'**_**Gone but Never Forgotten'**_ chapter 13 and **'**_**Faerie Child' **_Chapter 5__written. They'll be out soon _promise_ lol I've also started Writing my other two Inuyasha fics **'**_**Don't Let it be just once'**_ and **'**_**I am your future'**_ which are both SessKag fics. _See_ I'm multitasking!

**To The Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*1*_

_The fighting was over, done with. So why didn't she feel relieved? Wasn't that how she was supposed to feel? Wasn't she supposed to rejoice with her friends and be happy? She looked down at her hands and noticed the jewel shard winking innocently back at her. Of course…the wish. What could she possibly wish for that would be selfless? She looked around at her friends and knew exactly what. She felt a pair of eyes on her and looked to meet molten gold. Something was there, in the Taiyoukai's eyes just beneath the surface. The look he was giving her raised the hair on her body and she wavered slightly. There was something there…Something she needed to know. What was it? What was he trying to tell her? She was suddenly surrounded by her happy friends, the jewel gone and he was gone as well. Elusive as ever, like water. She didn't even get to say 'Thank you'._

Kagome blinked slowly as she woke, the lethargic fog refusing to leave her mind for a moment as it contemplated the dream she just had. However, as always the dull ache of remembering that time washed up upon her and she gritted her teeth to keep it at bay. Refusing to look out her window she gathered her clothing for the day and went to the shower, not even having the energy to scold her little brother -who was quickly growing- when he nearly barreled into her in his race to get downstairs for breakfast. She kept her mind carefully blank as she let the warm water wash over her as she showered. She'd gotten good at doing that, keeping her mind blank and pretending not to think of her friends. It left her numb to the pain and numbness was safe. It kept her from doing potentially dangerous things…like jumping into the well and breaking her bones again. She shuddered at the reminder of her second month back home after the well had closed up behind her. She'd gone through another of her desperate panic attacks and recklessly threw herself into the well while it was raining, she'd been soaking wet and her foot had slipped from under her. She'd landed in a bad way and her leg had crumpled underneath her while her arm had been broken in two spots when she'd tried to catch herself.

Kagome had felt horrible, she'd never seen her mother cry so much. Since then she'd studiously kept herself from looking at the well most of the time and tried to live as much as a life as she could here. Unfortunately…it was a dull, empty and sorry excuse of a life. She'd been back for a total of 6 months and for three of those six she'd seen a therapist that had helped her get her panic attacks under order. Now sheer will power and stubbornness that she was famous for kept her moving forward with a life she didn't really want.

The young miko started slightly when there was a knock on the bathroom door and Souta's whining voice broke through her reverie. "_Sis_, what are you _doing_ in there? There _are_ other people who have to use this bathroom."

A small quirk of her lips was a good sign as Kagome tried not to chuckle at her little brothers words. "That's rich coming from you! It takes you _hours_ to get ready for school!"

She heard him splutter in his attempt to deny it as she quickly got dressed after shutting off the water. "_Neesan_…"

She giggled as she opened the door to see him glowering at her while he sulked silently, ruffling his hair playfully she rushed past him back to her room. She grabbed her bag, checking to make sure everything she needed was in it. She was almost done with school, something that wouldn't have been possible if she was on the other side. Kagome didn't know if she was grateful or annoyed at this. Unthinkingly her eyes flitted to her bedroom window that looked right over the well and froze as her eyes connected with the well house. All those times with Inuyasha flew past her mind's eye but before she could get lost in it her mother's voice broke through it. "Kagome…?"

Kagome blinked and ripped her eyes away from the well quickly, grinning wide and brightly at her mother. "Ohayo, mama! Sorry but I'm already running late for school!"

She dashed past her mother, no longer able to look in her eyes and see the worry there but worst of all she hated the look of fear she saw in her mother's eyes. Kagome was aware her mother was scared of Kagome doing something reckless like that night again but it _hurt_. _Hurt_ to be looked at like you were some fragile glass doll that if touched would shatter. She was the damn Shikon no tama Miko for Kami's sake! She was a powerful Miko and she needed to start acting like it. So with that thought in mind Kagome straightened her back and walked right past the well house, not even looking at it. She'd learn to leave with how things were and it would get better…for everyone. Mama wouldn't look at her with those eyes anymore, she'd make sure of it.

"Kagome-chan!"

Kagome blinked before turning, noticing one of her university friends running up to her with a wide grin. The Miko smiled brightly back and waved energetically. "Oh wow! You look like you're in a really good mood today!"

The priestess gave the girl a wan smile before pushing the feeling of bitterness to the side. There was no reason to be bitter at the people who lived their lives because they didn't know better. "Yes, I just decided I needed a change a little. Anyway Ami, I heard Toki-kun asked you out."

The chestnut brown haired girl blushed shyly and looked away, it was something that endeared her to Kaagome. She was so quiet and shy but willing to protect those she was close to. It was how they'd met, Kagome had been standing up for a student being bullied and shy, quiet little Ami had stepped up as well to help. It had officially been a shock when tiny little Ami showed she'd studied in Martial arts. Since then Ami had been teaching her a few things on and off, whenever the mood struck them or Ami needed to practice. "Yeah, he said that he'd always noticed me but that I was so quiet he was afraid he'd scare me away."

Kagome giggled, remembering the awkward but popular boy coming to her and asking about Ami. She'd been suspicious at first and very protective of her only friend but after seeing the genuine sincerity she'd told him to just go for it. A stab of jealousy twisted her gut for a split second before she scolded herself for even thinking of feeling that way.

"So you two are officially an item? _Finally_! I was wondering when he'd get the courage."

Ami's eyes widened and she squeaked out, "You knew?!"

The young woman grinned wickedly and said, "I might have given him a little nudge."

The girl's face flamed up brilliantly and she hid her face in her hands as they entered their train. "I can't believe you knew and you never told me. That's just mean, Kagome-chan."

"Well he begged me not to say anything until he was ready to tell you. I'm surprised it took him so long." Her eyes narrowed a split second later and she looked at Ami seriously, "You tell me if he's being mean, I'll set him straight."

Ami blinked before laughing lightly, giving Kagome a thankful smile as she said, "Promise I will."

She was quiet for a while and Kagome watched warily as a thoughtful look slid over the girl's face. Paranoia kicking in from her time with her high school friends, Kagome recognized the look immediately much to her dismay. "Kagome-chan…you know I only want what's best for you…"

Kagome groaned, _'Uh-oh, here it comes…'_ Ami gave her a chiding look before continuing on, "No wait listen to me. I mean you don't have to take anyone seriously but maybe if you just set up a few dates and see. It's not like I want you to replace whoever the guy was but…maybe for just a little until he comes back or whatever…I just want you happy."

The little miko bit her lip, feeling the sting behind her eyes at Ami's words. No one was as understanding as Ami and she loved the girl for it but it _hurt_ to even think about seeing someone else. Suddenly, a flash of her earlier conviction crossed her mind and Ami's words of just wanting her to be happy lit up. Giving the girl a wan smile she hugged her as they approached their stop. "Alright, Ami-chan. Alright, I'll try."

It was worth giving in to see the light reenter the petite's girl worried gaze. Kagome was sure she'd been concerned that she'd upset Kagome since mention of 'the guy from her past' usually set her off.

(OoO)

Kagome sighed as she combed back her hair to put it into a neat ponytail then flattening her skirt and straightening her button-up collared shirt. After school she'd come straight to her part time job at a local museum that specialized in the Feudal era. She loved it, being surrounded by all the things she'd once taken advantage of. It left her feeling at peace and whole. Kagome checked herself in the mirror one more time before exiting the women's bathroom, heading straight for the employee lounge to get coffee. She was shocked to see Lena there, the museum's caretaker there. Lena was usually out with her husband looking for new pieces for the museum and rarely had time to visit. Just as the closed the door behind her Lena looked up from the papers in her hand and smiled widely, obviously relieved to see Kagome. Crows feet and laugh lines were only just beginning to appear on the older woman's features but if anything it made the foreign woman all that much more beautiful. Her husband was a lucky man indeed.

"Higurashi-chan! Just the girl I wanted to see!"

The girl blinked before grinning widely, Lena's accent as prominent as ever even though she'd been living in Japan for years now. "What is it, Lena-san?"

The woman patted the spot on the sofa next to her invitingly, Kagome cast a longing gaze at the coffee pot not far away but decided to get this over with. She obediently sat next to the woman and was handed a few papers. "One of our most frequent and precious donors is coming in today with a few pieces, all of which are in those papers. You're our best when it comes to the Feudal era so I thought you might greet him and talk everything over. Of course, I'll be there but only to step in when necessary. Can you do that?"

As Lena had spoken Kagome had been looking through the pages, she opened her mouth to agree when her eyes landed on something she'd never thought she'd see. In her hand was a picture of the Fire Rat robes and under it was a vague description.

_Five Hundred Century Old Fire Rat Robe_

_Passed down from the former great general to his son_

_It is said his son was a prince that never claimed his birthright_

_The boy fought many battles and won the heart of a Miko_

Kagome bit her lip, now knowing this was definitely Inuyasha's robes. She had to meet this person and speak with them, maybe she'd be able to hear more about its history, hear more about Inuyasha. "Higurashi-chan? Higurashi-chan!"

The Miko blinked before giving the woman a shaky smile and said, "Yes…yes I'll take care of it. When are they due to arrive?"

The woman studied her for a moment before she said, "In a few minutes, here's some information on him. I'll be right back."

Kagome took the papers and nodded her head, watching the woman leave before looking down at the face that glowered coldly at her.

_Name: Hisato, Fumito_

_Age: 23_

_Occupation: Antiquities and Hidenori Enterprise_

_Summary: Hisato Fumito is a business man that keeps his personal life under_

_tight wraps. Not much is none about him except he donates large amounts of money_

_to the children cancer ward every month and regularly donates to shrines as well_

_as museums specializing in Feudal Era Japan. He is known to be distant but not unfair. _

_He's been a generous donor to Kazuki Feudal Museum for ten years. His father before him_

_also was a generous donor to all good causes. As far as what was dug up on his personal life_

_he has only a handful of close acquaintances that he remains in contact with._

_Recommendation: Refer to Higurashi Kagome-san her excellent track record for facts_

_will surely impress. Also her ability to attract listeners with her stories and myth's _

_will surely grab Hisato-san's attention. She is a hard worker and will please beyond a doubt._

Kagome bit her lip at the notice for recommendation, honored by the high compliment but also sad that no one knew what she spoke of was not myth but fact. She brushed the thought off as she looked down at the picture of Hisato Fumito. Now that she looked closely she could tell that his glower wasn't completely cold, it looked as though whoever took the picture had said something (probably to make him laugh?) and it'd been a reaction. Underneath the distant look she could see the spark of _something_ in the man's eyes and it was…_sweet_. He had short black hair that fell a little past his ears, angular but elegant facial structure and slightly slanted eyes. She could see from the slight glimpse of his shoulders that he was wearing a suit but something about him called to her. There was something _familiar_ about this man and it was a bit maddening. Her thoughts were put on pause when Lena came back into the room looking a little frazzled.

"Oh! Higurashi-chan, good! You read it. He's here already, a little early but better than late. Come along!"

She blinked before slipping the papers into a nearby folder and tucking it under her arm as she followed Lena out. Something tingled in the back of her senses but she ignored it resolutely, it was time for work not pay attention to paranoia. They didn't walk far when Kagome noticed two men standing near a pair of swords, Hidenori and its sister sword Eri. She vaguely remembered the story behind the two swords and seeing nothing but the two men's back as they walked up she chirped helpfully, "They're beautiful swords."

She smiled warmly and continued, looking into her folder as both turned around. "They were crafted by one of the very last sword smith masters of the old way. Hidenori and Eri were used in the fight against Freyja Hime of the central land when her people came to conquer a village on the borders of the Western Land. Two sisters were all that were left of the village after the soldiers came and they begged for the swords to be made. Having a soft spot for those in need the sword smith agreed and in five days and five nights made those swords. It was said-"

A flare of something she never thought she'd feel before made her stop mid-sentence and tremble lightly. That aura was too pronounce for her to mistake and it spoke to a part of her that once remembered the fear and elation upon seeing who it belonged to. Slowly blue eyes looked up to meet light brown but something flashed in those eyes that made her choke a little. She recognized those eyes, she recognized that youki and she recognized that coldness that slammed down on those features.

A breathless whisper escaped her but she knew he would hear…

_TBC…_

_**A/N:**_ Aaaaand there it is ladies and gentlemen! The first chapter is done and on to the second! Hope you guys enjoyed it :3


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:** You guys have no idea how happy you make me :D to know you all like the first chapter is encouraging. I hope I continue to keep your attention. Thank you to those of you who reviewed and a special thank you to those who fav'd/followed. I adore you guys! Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter as well, our special someone is going to be a bit frustrating but bear with him lol!

**To the Goodbye We've already said…**

_*2*_

Kagome shook herself hard, remembering where she was when she felt Lena's eyes on her. Her mind raced with a million things. Why was he here? _How_ was he here? Was Inuyasha? Were there more youkai around? However, even with all the questions running through here mind she appeared controlled on the outside but her voice shook slightly. "Gomen nasai, you just looked like someone I knew for a second."

Lena shifted as she cleared her throat before asking, "Higurashi-chan, did you not have something to ask Hisato-san?"

Kagome shuddered as a flash of red robes and an arrogant grin flashed through her mind but she pushed it back and smiled tightly. "No, perhaps another time. However, I do not wish to bother Hisato-san when we have only just met."

She could see he was tense and she realized he hadn't been before he saw her, he _recognized_ her. It made her think of the picture in his file and that soft gleam in his eyes. Could he have changed? He refused to look at her and Kagome could feel everything inside of her quake, yearning to reach out and touch something from that time. To assure herself she was indeed not crazy and those last few years of her life did exist. However, the old fear of Sesshomaru still lingered even when during their allying days he'd been more tolerant of her and her friends. With that said she led the way through the museum but her eyes never strayed from his face and his eyes never glanced in her direction. "Higurashi-san, I must say I am impressed with your knowledge. You must do very well in school."

Kagome blushed, looking away and towards the ground at his companion'scompliment. She never saw light brown eyes flash gold as they landed on her for a split second. She'd catapulted herself through school ever since she got back, it was her only solace from the pain other than work. "I only do what is expected."

Her voice was quiet but there was quiet pain in it as she lifted her eyes and they landed on _him_ but he still refused to look at her. She suddenly wanted to scream, to grab him and shake him. Anything so that he would look at her and _know_. "It is time for us to go."

The young priestess' eyes widened as he spoke, his voice a low baritone as he murmured the words. It was the same. A low ache made her breath hitch a little and for one millisecond their eyes met and again she _saw_. Saw something she'd seen what she'd seen so long ago reflected at her in his eyes but even now she couldn't understand what it was exactly. However, just as quick his eyes moved away from her and past her shoulder at Lena. "You should be receive a check for my donation within the week. This was…a pleasure of sorts. Domo arigato gozaimasu."

Kagome had to bite her lip as the thought _'Still so formal and polite…'_ crossed her mind for a second before Lena stepped up with a bright smile. "No, no thank you for continuing to support us. We truly appreciate it, Hisato-san."

She and Lena bowed as he turned away with his companion beside him, trailing behind. As she watched his retreating back Kagome felt herself tremble and bit her lip. _'Turn back…Please turn back. Come back, talk to me. Tell me what happened. DON'T LEAVE!'_ Her thoughts in chaos she let a harsh breath escape once he was out the door and unthinkingly she chased after him. "Excuse me, Lena-san! I'll be right back!"

The miko heard Lena shout but her thoughts were on the youkai who would leave and she had the feeling would never show up again if she let him escape. She slammed the door open, gaining the attention of his companion but he kept on walking stiffly. "Wait! Please, wait!"

Her voice hitched and trembled as she tried not to let tears escape. He froze but he had not turned to her. She took a step forward and his companion looked between the two but for all she could care there was just him and his connection to her past. "It's you…isn't it…?"

He remained quiet but that was enough of an answer for her and his name left her in a rush of air. "Sesshomaru…"

She noticed his companion stiffen but his own body seemed to relax before tensing again. Vaguely she wondered how long it'd been since he'd heard his own name, his real name. A sharp jab of hope hit her and she scrambled forward. "How are you here? Is Inuyasha? I can't get back. Do you know how I can? Did I ever go back?!"

Her voice was a little shrill at the last question, she could feel her old panic attacks threatening to take hold as the urge to try jumping through the well nearly seized her. He still wouldn't look at her but she heard his voice and it made her still. "Miko, enough. It is not unnatural for one such as me to still be alive after so long…however, I cannot tell you more than that."

Kagome blinked before suddenly bursting into tears and for once he looked at her, shock clear on his face that it made her cry that much harder. This was Sesshomaru but he was different. Did that mean, if the others were here would they be different as well? Would Inuyasha still want her?"

A low annoyed growl made itself known and Kagome _knew_ she was blubbering but she couldn't help it. She was so caught between hope and heartbreak that all she wanted to do was throw herself at the Taiyoukai. She missed the pointed look he threw at his companion and the shorter man went inside. Sesshomaru watched her with flashing eyes for a second as he sighed before a soft huff escaped him and he cut in sharply, "Woman, cease and desist."

She stopped sharply, slightly startled out of her misery at the very Sesshomaru thing to say and she remembered her thought from earlier. _'Still so formal…'_ He looked her over before turning on his heel and continuing on to his car so once more she was watching his retreating back. When a chauffeur got out and opened the door for him he paused and looked over his shoulder at her. He arched an eyebrow in such a familiar manner that it _hurt_ and said, "Will you continue to stand there or are you going to follow?"

The little miko blinked and wavered, her mind reminding her she had work and she couldn't just leave no matter how much she wanted _something_ (or in this case _someone_) from the past around. He glared at her partially annoyed and growled out, "My assistant went to inform your employer that I wish your assistance."

"You do…?" She blinked in surprise and if she didn't know better she'd have suspected he was doing a good job of resisting rolling his eyes. "_Miko_…"

His warning tone made her scurry after him, glancing up at him and meeting –briefly- gold eyes as she slipped into the luxury car before him. It was roomy, not exactly a limo but longer than a regular car and she was impressed. _'Then again this is Sesshomaru, I shouldn't be.'_ A small wan smile curled her lips as he slid in on the opposite side of her, leaning back comfortably on the seat across from her as they waited for his companion. This time it was she who could not meet his eyes and he who would not take his eyes off of her.

She was exactly the way he remembered her yet at the same time not. He remembered her as a strong bubbly young woman with strange clothes that didn't fit her Miko title and the chastity he smelled from her. However, in front of him was a woman who was broken and barely holding on by a thread. He vaguely remembered a time when he'd caught a glimpse of this girl before. The memory was so fuzzy now that he couldn't quite grip it so he brushed it away. He kept a close eye on the girl in front of him, she didn't look at him yet in her own way she leaned towards him. As though being near him was enough to ease whatever plagued her and unthinkingly he spoke, "You have changed…"

Blue eyes turned to meet him sharply and a hiss of surprise escaped her. He raised an eyebrow and he smelled a flare of irritation he recognized, _'I almost forgot how she hated that…'_ Amusement was a prominent emotion but he hid it well before he realized what had made her so surprised. He'd dropped his glamour the minute the car door had closed behind him and now he sat before her in his true appearance. Much like in his human guise, his hair was cut short but still looked moonlight kissed while his golden eyes shimmered brightly. He was slightly taller than his younger years and not as feminine looking but certain aspects of him still had that delicate appearance.

She blinked slowly and he noticed she seemed to waver slightly but snapped out of it when the car door opened once more and his assistant slipped in next to her. He seemed shocked to see Sesshomaru in his natural look, elven ears keeping hair tucked back a little and a casual but alert pose in the chair. The taiyoukai's lip curled slightly in a familiar look before he said placating, "Ito meet my brother's wench…Miko."

He seemed to correct himself after a sharp look from Kagome that promised pain and in her tremulous state he wouldn't put it past her to purify him. It was a bit disturbing and once more since catching her eye and recognizing her, he internally sighed at how soft he'd gotten over the years. If he'd been in his pup years still he'd have easily ignored her and kept walking but at the sound of her heart breaking he'd reluctantly allowed her weakness. A part of him promised he would regret this and the rational part of his mind agreed. _Whole heartedly_.

Ito looked in shock at Kagome, his eyes sweeping over her in shock before looking at Sesshomaru. He opened his mouth to say something but a sharp look at the other youkai –because she realized she could sense a little youki coming off of him- shut him up quickly. The man seemed to be a little sick as he looked at her and said, "It is a pleasure to meet the Shikon Miko."

Kagome blinked, realizing Sesshomaru had said 'My brother' not 'the half breed', not 'disgusting hanyo', not 'the fool' but 'My brother'. She vaguely wondered what had changed, what happened in the past? Did she ever go back?

"Miko." His voice was sharp and she was once again broken out of her reverie and saved from another panic attack. She felt off kilter, she hadn't had a panic attack like this for two months and she knew it was because she was in front of a peace of her past. The past she wanted to go back to so badly. She took a shuddering breath and spoke, "it is to be expected."

She noticed a slight crease between his brows but they didn't actually move all that much and she realized this Sesshomaru was a little more willing to show emotions. The crease disappeared and the bored expression was back on so she guessed he realized she was talking about his statement to her changing. She closed her eyes as pain rocketed through her for a second before she said, "Being unable to see him and being ripped from him will do that."

His golden gaze flickered away from her and he was once again not meeting her eyes. She wanted to ask him why but was cut off when the car stopped, not having actually realized when it had started moving. She looked out a window and was surprised to see she was in front of the shrine, her home. She suddenly remembered Lena's statement of him donating to shrines in Japan. She wondered, wondered strongly why that was. She wondered where Rin and Jaken were and if they too were still alive. She ripped her eyes away from him once more as he slipped out and she followed behind, she didn't notice his slight shake of his head when Ito went to follow as well. Too wrapped up in her inner musings she continued walking until before she realized it she was in front of the well house and despair welled up in her.

"Do not worry so much. It is unnecessary. What will happen, will happen." There was a tinge of impatient annoyance in his tone and she turned to face him. He was once again donning his human guise and she found she preferred the other one. "Move away from there…_now_."

She blinked and once again a flare of old but familiar irritation flared in her for a second. Kagome turned around swiftly and began to make her way back to the house. However, she paused and looked over her shoulders to see that Sesshomaru looked at the well house with something in his eyes. Hesitantly she called softly, "Sesshomaru-sama…"

She noticed his eyes closed for a moment before meeting hers and they were gold. "Will you…Will I…Will I see you again?"

She held her breath as his features seemed to close off and he traveled deep within hiself. When he finally answered it was to say 'Maybe' and then he was gone. Content in at least that, she went into her home and ignored everyone as she headed straight to her room suddenly feeling very tired. As soon as she hit the bed she was deeply asleep, her dreams plagued with visions of the fire rat robe and haunted gold eyes.

_TBC…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:** Three chapters in three days? Yeah now I know all my followers for my other fics are cursing me *dodges thrown knives* I swear I'll get to them lol *sweat drops* aaaaanyway. Here's another chapter of _To the Goodbyes We've already said…_ I'm really happy you guys are enjoying it so far. Hopefully I continue to be consistent *sweat drops*

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*3*_

It was two weeks before Kagome saw Sesshomaru again. Two weeks of worried looks and worry that it had all been a dream. A realistic dream but a dream nonetheless. So after two weeks desperation and fear of her rising panic attack made her remember the folder filled with information that she'd dropped in her room and went to get it. It didn't take long to find the papers with his information and she read through it until she found what she was looking for…an address or rather two. There was an address for his work place and an address for his home, Kagome wondered which would be smarter as she worried at her lip. Deciding he was less likely to kill her in front of a whole bunch of humans, work place it was. _'Besides…'_ She told herself, _'I have a valid reason for visiting…Lena-san would like to say thank you to him in person.'_ She knew she could simply call him for that but every nerve in her body demanded she seek him out. Seek him out or take the plunge through the well and have her heart shattered all over again right when she was becoming strong again.

_You have changed…_

She winced as she remembered his words and a hole hollowed out in her chest. She _had_ changed and that saddened her all the more. Kagome had spent so much of her life pinning after Inuyasha that when she finally had him they were ripped apart. It wasn't _fair_. She let out a soft sigh before shaking herself, smoothing out her button down shirt and slacks as she went on her way. Her mind preoccupied with this new yet same Sesshomaru. He was still cold and distant but he seemed to allow a few emotions to shine through or well _peek_ through was more accurate. A slight twitch of her lips was the only sign of her amusement as she boarded the train absentmindedly. Her eyes flickered up at each station unthinkingly, unconsciously making sure she didn't miss her stop as she got lost in her thoughts. Kagome was a little surprised at the degree of her desperation though if she was being completely honest with herself. She'd never in a million years think she'd allow herself to willingly seek out Inuyasha's _half-brother_ as reassurance, as an anchor. Although she was sure he wouldn't appreciate it but then she remembered the look in his eyes and she couldn't help but wonder.

The face of a smiling little girl flashed through her mind and not for the first time she wondered what became of the small child. She was startled from her thoughts when the train jolted and she was rushing out to not miss her stop. She looked around her for a moment before looking at her phone to figure out which way she was supposed to go. Reading the directions over once more she put it away and gripping the folder of papers to her she hurried on her way. Her mind raced, wondering what she would do if he was not there, if they would not let her see him, if he did not _want_ to see her. After all he'd never promised he would, just said that she might see him again. However, a small part of her –the part that remembered she was still a powerful Miko- felt a flare of irritation and was tempted to purify his high and mighty butt for being a jerk.

She stopped when she came upon the building, it was huge, and suddenly she felt just slightly nervous about this idea. She rocked back on her heels and sucked in her lip to worry on it as she debated the pros and cons of doing this. Glancing away nervously, she decided this hadn't been a good idea after all and whirled around to leave. However, the door to the building opened and a surprised familiar voice made her stop. "Higurashi-san?!"

Kagome winced before turning around slowly and looking into the warm brown eyes of Sesshomaru's assistant, Ito. Vaguely she realized she'd never heard his last name before that was brushed aside. "Higurashi-san, whatever are you doing here?"

She fidgeted for a second before smiling nervously as she replied, "I needed Se-Hisato-san to sign some papers and…"

Her hesitance to continue made his eyes furrow before something flickered in his gaze and it softened. With a warm smile he turned to the side, holding the door open for her and spoke once more. "Then please come in. Hisato-san has just come out of a meeting so he's a bit grumpy so ignore anything he says."

Kagome blinked as she moved past him and asked nervously, "Should you really talk about him like that?"

The man-youkai blinked before an amused smile tilted his lips and he said, "He's not the same as he used to be….although he has no qualms about giving out physical pain."

The last part was said thoughtfully as he rubbed his shoulder and Kagome felt her lips twitch a little as she looked forward. She missed the soft look he sent her from the corner of his eyes and the sad little turn of his lips. They entered the elevator and he pressed a button before she turned to him. "What is it exactly that Hisato-san does? What is this corporation?"

Ito blinked before a grin curled his lips, "Hisato-san himself doesn't do much except throw his money around and makes sure to maintain this place. He does, after all, own this _corporation_. However, Hidenori Enterprise itself has its fingers dipped in many things, mostly though it's a support center for charities and archeological digs but a big part of it lays with security development including improving police centers, cyber safety and a heap of other things."

Kagome blinked, surprised at what Ito was telling her, Sesshomaru had begun _protecting_ humans. Had begun dedicating his life to protecting, helping and providing for humans. It was…a little awe inspiring if she was being truthful. Unthinkingly she asked, "Why?"

Ito blinked before a small sad wan smile curled his lips and he looked away from her. "There were many reasons, Higurashi-san."

"Kagome…"

The man blinked and she blushed lightly but she felt as though she would like this man, very much and she said, "Please call me, Kagome. Higurashi is my mother."

Ito patted her head and she released an indignant sound as she swatted at his hand. He chuckled lightly just as the elevator door opened and they were moving through a bustling office with a multitude of workers. Everyone talked, argued, yelled and joked around with each other as they worked and she was surprised by the relaxed manner. Knowing Sesshomaru she had expected a neat, tidy and _quiet _workplace. Ito laughed at her expense earning him a light glower before he explained, "Hisato-san, has a soundproof office…for the most part. So long as they get their work done, don't bother him and don't cause the whole building to collapse he doesn't care."

They moved through the crowd of bustling workers, trailing close behind Ito as he led the way until he was in front of a door. He lifted his hand to knock but before he could a voice spoke. "Just come in."

There was an underlying growl of annoyance that Kagome immediately recognized as Sesshomaru and not for the first time wondered if this was smart. Ito glanced back at her before entering the room and she followed behind, _directly_ behind hoping not to be seen. "Ito this had better be good because I just spoke with-"

She heard him cut himself off before she heard sniffing and she found she _hated_ dogs. _'Stupid nose. Stupid enhanced senses. Stupid youkai.'_ Her mind ranted lightly as her breath sped up just a bit and her heart squeezed in slight nervousness. There was a tense silence where Kagome didn't see the dark look Sesshomaru shot at his assistant that promised pain to which Ito winced at.

"_Miko…_"

There was a clear demand in his voice that was also a question. He wanted her to come from behind his assistant and he was questioning why she was here. Her eyes darted around the room to not meet his eyes as she stepped up beside Ito. "H-Hello, Hisato-san. I'm sorry for the intrusion but I had some papers I needed you to sign."

She should have mailed them to him or maybe emailed, anything but volunteered to bring them. This was a stupid idea. "Oh?"

Kagome had to fight a small scowl that threatened to twist her features at his disbelieving tone. However, it earned him a light glare from her but that meant their eyes met and immediately she froze at the glowing gold eyes that locked on her blue ones. He was back to looking like a youkai and part of her wondered if that was smart for him to look like that. Unthinkingly, she asked voiced the questioned aloud.

"Is that smart?"

A delicate brow lifted at her question and she blushed furiously before looking down at the ground. Silently, she berated herself but missed the amused light in the taiyoukai's eyes. "Perhaps not…"

She looked up when he answered her and she noticed something erase from his eyes but if she didn't know better she would have thought he was silently laughing at her. Her eyes narrowed considerably before he continued on. "However, no one would dare walk in here without knocking."

She made a small thoughtful noise and she gave him a calculated look but stopped when he looked pointedly at the folders in her hands. Letting out a soft 'oh' she scurried over to his desk and sat in a chair he gestured to that was in front of it. Ito snorted softly before turning and saying, "Akamaru was causing a ruckus so I'll be back."

"Hn"

The man rolled his eyes before exiting the office leaving them alone. Kagome took a few papers out of the folder detailing the conditions which he was relinquishing his artifacts to them for and various other things. "Do you have a pen?"

He quietly handed one over and she took it, leaning on the desk as she marked a few areas of each page that he should either read over or sign. The whole time she could feel his eyes on her and she wondered what was going through that head of his. Without realizing her eyes flicked up and locked on with gold once more. The pen was at a standstill in her hands as they just stared at each other before he said in bored interest, "Are you done?"

She blinked and wondered what he meant before a flare of annoyance shot through as he glanced expectantly at the papers. Letting out a soft annoyed sound she shoved the papers across to him and again she thought she saw a touch of amusement in his features. He looked over the papers reading _everything_, not that she was surprised. This time she watched him, looking at the slight tenseness in his shoulders yet the utter look of being comfortable in this era. His short moonlight kissed hair brushed his cheek lightly and she stared in wonder. It was strange to see his hair so short and unthinkingly she said, "You cut it…"

Gold eyes glanced up at her before looking back at the pages and she thought he wouldn't say anything for a while but he spoke. "It was only natural to…and easier. I may have been able to glamour it short perfectly but it is easier this way."

Kagome snorted at his confidence, _'Still as high and mighty.'_ She resisted the urge to stick out her tongue at him when he gave her a flat look. She watched as slim delicate fingers scribbled here and there, signing some parts before changing others. "You smell different this day…"

Kagome paused in her thoughts at his words before her eyes narrowed, unsure if she should be offended. As though sensing this he made a small annoyed noise and gave her an annoyed look as he said, "This one-_I_ meant that you do not seem so upset…in the distraught sense."

'_Stupid smelling emotions ability'_ Her lips twitched as she realized he'd almost slipped back into the way he used to speak and she wondered if he missed it. Suddenly, a large smile curled her lips and she replied happily.

"I have reason to be a little happier."

He gave her a curious look but said nothing but she saw the question in it and said, "Because Sessomaru-sama is here…"

She saw something flash through his gaze at her words and she realized it was pain. Kagome looked at him shocked before once more remembering the little girl that had always been by his side. With all the curiosity of a child –naïve, hurtful and innocent- she asked, "Where is Rin-chan, Sesshomaru?"

She watched as lids hid gold eyes from the world and his youki flared chaotically for a second then he was continuing to take care of business like none of that had happened. "She had gotten sick…what you're kind calls 'leukemia' plagued her before she passed."

Her heart broke from the taiyoukai. She knew that even if he had never showed it he had loved the little girl as though she was his daughter. Kagome bit her lip as her eyes stung and her throat dried but the sharp look he gave her kept the tears at bay. He continued to look over the paper work before he said, "It was long ago…She was well into her adulthood when it happened."

She gave him a sad look as she said, "That does not mean it still does not hurt."

Suddenly, she understood he desire to be charitable to any and every children's organization. He was trying to spare everyone else the same pain and suddenly he was more honorable than ever. She smiled warmly when he looked at her, a strange look on his face. "You have always been very honorable."

He blinked slowly before something in him seemed to snap and the tension that had been in his body seemed to melt away. He looked down at the papers and scribbled something quickly on the paper at the end. He looked over everything before handing her the papers once again. This time she gave him a strange look before looking over everything, humming softly at some parts and snorting rudely at others. She didn't notice but at some point during this his presence and cajoling had eased the panic and depression to the point where she _finally_ felt like herself. When she got to the end she was stopped at what she read and read over it a few times in stunned silence.

_In terms of all these conditions I would also like to add one more._

_I would like or rather require Higurashi Kagome's assistance and knowledge._

_It would greatly please me to have her as a liaison from your museum and I would like _

_to continue working with her and preferably only her.._

_If this is possible then I believe our agreements are settled and our continued_

_Business relationship shall be prosperous._

A liaison…he wanted to continue talking to her…he wouldn't keep at a distance. She would be seeing him again. Suddenly, tears swam in her eyes as she looked up at the proud taiyoukai. His lip curled in distaste and he growled out uncomfortably, "Cease that blubbering at once woman."

Suddenly she was laughing, too happy at being able to stay by his side and relieved to hear something so _Sesshomaru_.

_TBC…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, sexual harassment (this chapter only)

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note: **

**THIS IS A WARNING!** Sooo this chapter has a part where Kagome goes through a _traumatizing_ event that will be hinted at, at the very beginning. So I warn you while it doesn't go through with the rape it gets particularly close. I apologize now if it upsets you but it is very important for her to go through it in order to get things _really_ going but I promise Kagome won't change _too_ much because of it.

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*4*_

It was three weeks in from when he'd revised the contract between him and the museum Kagome worked at. She was making it so he truly was regretting it. The petite young woman had made it so she was constantly around him and making herself a permanent fixture in his office. The worst part? He didn't even really mind as much as he growled at her and threatened bodily harm. Damn woman knew it too. He glanced up from the paperwork on his desk to study the young woman not far from him, sitting on the floor in front of his coffee table as she did her homework. There were numerous times he'd been tempted to hall her out of his company or at least rewrite the contract. However, there were moments where she'd stare listlessly out into the air and he saw something in her gaze that made him rethink that idea. Sesshomaru was well aware he was being used and it annoyed him how little he cared. Every time he found himself getting annoyed about it he remembered her desperate plea in the parking lot when they first came upon each other.

In all his years living he never thought he'd find himself the reluctant _acquaintance_ –he refused to use the word _friend_- of his brother's miko. It was…strange. He'd become accustomed to her presence, finding himself turning to her at odd intervals to ask her opinion of something dealing with his antiquities. Reluctant as he was to admit it, she was useful _and_ knowledgeable in things like that. She'd even let him in on the fact she was contemplating becoming either a curator at a museum or archeologist. He knew whatever she picked, she'd be good at.

"Seshomaru!"

The taiyoukai blinked and was surprised to find the petite female of his thoughts leaning over his desk, looking at him strangely. He shot her a light glare before looking back down at his paperwork. Deciding that was enough of an acknowledgement she needed from him she spoke. "Where were you?"

He tensed slightly before involuntarily relaxing. "I was merely thinking about the strangeness of this existence."

She blinked before taking that as his way of saying 'I'm thinking about life" and grinned. "So even the great Sesshomaru of the west thinks about that."

He huffed and glanced up at nher, giving the Miko a flat look. "Obviously."

She let out a soft giggle before beginning to play with a sheet of paper on his desk. He learned quickly that the habit was warning that she was about to ask something he would most likely decline. Sighing softly, he leaned back and folded his hands on his desk as he waited to hear it. She shot him a light glare, annoyed that he learned her mannerisms so quickly. She was a little surprised by the slight quirk the corner of his lips did upward. Although she really shouldn't have, along the weeks he'd shown that he _did_ have a sense of humor just usually at her expense. "So…some of us are going out for drinks and…well…you should come along."

He blinked slowly, processing everything she said before an eyebrow arched in that irritating manner she hated. Much to his pleasure her eyebrows furrowed in her customary scowl at the action and he spoke slowly, in a rather teasing manner. "Please excuse this one as I get this…_straight_."

He paused, pretending to think of a word before he continued on. "You wish for a _taiyoukai_ who purposefully keeps away from his rowdy employees, to join you and them for alcoholic beverage consummation?"

He watched as her face slowly turned red with both her embarrassment and fury, silently he patted himself on the back for managing to get her to turn that lovely shade. It was the first time he'd seen it and therefore congratulated himself on a new achievement in 'let's piss off the miko and see how far she holds out before attempting to purify me' game. So far she was turning out to be quite resolute in the 'I'm not going to purify his ass' department.

"You…! You…! GAH!"

She threw her hands up and turned away. "Fine, I'll just tell Akito-san and Akitoki-san that I tried."

His hearing sharpened and the amusement that had been dancing along his features hardened at those names. The two twins were notorious for breaking women's hearts and sexually harassing women, the only reason he hadn't fired them was because they hadn't been stupid enough to try it at the job. He felt a low growl build in his chest and he asked, "What makes you think it's a smart idea to go with them?"

She turned and rolled her eyes at his dark expression. "Oh _please_ it's a bunch of us going and _HELLO_! Shikon Miko here? Defeater of the most evil hanyo in the Feudal Era? I can totally take on those two even _if_ the rumors were true."

She began to open the door and he hurriedly pulled up his glamour in the blink of an eye as he said, "I can _assure_ you that they are."

He didn't have to see her face to know that she'd scowled as she slammed the door shut making him wince at the loud sound on his sensitive ears but he didn't miss her mumbled response through the door.

_Stupid inu youkai and their stupid good senses._

(OoO)

She was drinking far too much. She was well aware of that but everything in her body was telling her to continue, keep going. Maybe the pain would go away completely if she did. Three weeks and the pain had dulled to a dull throb but around Sesshomaru it almost disappeared completely. Then his not quite same silver hair would flash and she'd remember Inuyasha and everything she left behind. It was hard, it was cruel but she was getting by. AS much as she was surprised to admit it, it was all thanks to Sesshomaru. AS grudging as he was, as tough and distant as he tried to be she saw the man –youkai- behind that. He kept her busy, he kept her _sane_. She was grateful to him and she was surprised at how much she'd come to think of him as a friend.

Kagome friend in her somewhat drunken stupor. Why the hell was she thinking about Sesshomaru? As though right on cue an arm slipped around her shoulder and another slipped around her waist. She blinked her surprise before turning to face dark eyes and dark buzz cut hair of Akito on her other side with slightly longer hair but same color was Akitoki. "Why such a severe face, Kagome-chan? You should know better than that around us."

Sure enough, a silly grin was curling her lips at Akito's teasing lilt and Akitoki leaned his chin on her shoulder to look over at his brother. "Yup! No serious faces near us! This is all about having a good time after all!"

Akitoki's cheerful voice slid over her ear sensually and she shivered. Unthinkingly she leaned a little farther away from him, something in her mind screaming at her but she couldn't quite understand. "Hey, you feeling okay?"

Kagome turned her face to Akito's only to notice how close he was and jerked back a little. Suddenly, her stomach roiled and she bit the inside of her cheek. She didn't like this. She shouldn't be this drunk. She'd drank before but she never had this severe of a reaction. Vaguely, something in her mind was telling her something she should be remembering but at this moment she couldn't be sure what it was. Kagome didn't even notice when she should her head at his question or the look both men shot at each other over her slightly bowed head.

Why don't we take you somewhere else? Huh, hun?"

She blinked but couldn't get the words from her mouth and suddenly, Akitoki was getting up. Kagome barely registered the feel of a caress against her waist and jolted slightly before Akito hushed her in a mock comfort kind of way. When Akitoki came back he and Akito attempted to help her from her seat and suddenly she could hear what her consciousness was screaming.

'_Don't let them take you from here! Don't go with them! Remember the rumors! Remember Sesshomaru's dislike of them!'_

As though remembering Sesshomaru dumped cold ice over her she sobered slightly and yanked back a little. Shaking her head she mumbled somewhat coherently, "No…no…fine…s'fine…m'lone…s'fine…"

The room swam dangerously and suddenly she was leaning against Akitoki as AKito ushered them out. From the corner of her eyes she could see the rest of the office staff looking at her worriedly and one was on their phone. For once she didn't pray for Inuyasha, for once she didn't hope it would be Inuyasha to save her but a certain taiyoukai. She fervently wished for him to come and rip them apart but her drunken mind slowly succumbed to whatever had been done to her. She slumped heavily against the two men, her feet dragging slightly as she tried to stop what was happening. All the while both men hushed her gently, softly almost _lovingly_, reassuring her things would be fine.

Kagome could feel her heart speeding up and her adrenaline pulsing as they got closer to their car. A soft moan escaped her lips and she could feel her holy power spluttering to life just beneath her skin, trying to protect her but it could do nothing against regular human men. Before she knew it she was in the back of their car, AKito in the back with her as Akitoki drove. His arm was around her shoulder and she could feel him brushing her hair away from her neck and shuddered in disgust but her body refused to listen to her. A small hiss of breath escaped her when she felt lips dangerously close to her skin and she trembled. Finally fear set in and her adrenaline roared to life. "Stop…don't wan…s'not kay…"

Words fell from her lips and she heard both men chuckle, Akito crooned almost comfortingly in her ear. "Don't worry, Kagome-chan. We'll take _real_ good care of you."

She shuddered again and another moan –a cross between a sick groan and a sob- left her throat as she tried to jerk away from him but it felt weak. _Stupid_. How could she have been so _stupid_? Hadn't everyone warned her? Hadn't Sesshomaru's apparent dislike of them told her enough? She should have _listened_. Why was she so determined to see the good in everyone? It _always_ got her into trouble, now she was finally paying the consequences.

When the car finally stopped, Kagome felt her heart leap up and when Akito carried her bridal style out of the car she felt a burst of strength fill her. Without thinking she jabbed her elbow up and caught him in the chin, the minute she heard the satisfying click of teeth snapping together and he dropped her Kagome stumbled up. The world spun around her dangerously but she stumbled away from the two before a body collided with her and she let out a soft grunt. "Now, now Kagome-chan that wasn't nice. Be a good girl and listen to us. I'm sure you don't have this hard enough time spreading your legs for the boss."

For a second all she saw was red and she swung with all her might. She felt satisfaction when a thrill of pain shot up her arm and she heard a satisfying crunch as bone gave away under her fist. A cry echoed around them and she recognized Akitoki's voice. The satisfaction was short lived when something impacted her stomach and she crumpled to the ground as pain swarmed her already foggy senses. Curling up into a ball she moan piteously as nausea and pain wracked her tiny frame. She was going to be sick, she just knew it but at least she could feel her mind clearing slightly. Her lips twisted into a sneer when she was suddenly grabbed by her hair and drugged up to Akito's face. She noticed the corner of his mouth had blood and felt a vindictive jolt of glee. _'He bit his tongue, good.'_ He shook her firmly and she groaned as once more her world spun dizzyingly. Suddenly, his hands were at her blouse and her eyes shot open as a cry ripped from her lips. He slammed her against the car and continued to work at her blouse as her nails clawed at them. She could feel the fog settling along the sharpness of her mind and silently cursed. "Akito-san…what….Why…?"

Suddenly there was no shirt to protect her virtue and Kagome was sure that if she wasn't so out of it she'd feel completely humiliated. However, at this moment even the fear and adrenaline that had aided her only moments before was quickly dispersing. A low chuckle from behind Akito made her half-lidded eyes look over to Alkitoki who was holding his bleeding nose. His voice was nasally as he spoke, "Because we can't stand that rich bastard and you seem to be important enough to him so…Why not break him by breaking you?"

Her mind wanted to scream at them that she was nothing to him. AN annoyance he kept around for Inuyasha's sake. For the sake of an alliance they made five hundred years ago but nothing cooperated anymore and numbness settled in as he approached. Akitoki grabbed her hands and pinned them above her as Akito's hands moved lower down on her body. Something inside Kagome was dangerously close to shattering and she wanted to scream out. A tension built inside of her and her power coiled, wanting to lash out but having nothing to target. So she withdrew, went deeper inside herself than she'd ever gone so that none of this seemed real. As she closed her eyes in defeat, a single tear escaped her eye and suddenly a hair raising snarl ripped through the air. She heard the sound of flesh meeting flesh harshly and she was released suddenly. Her body slid to the ground kneeling upon the ground and automatically her hands clutched her shirt closed. Her hair fell over her face as her eyes opened to see Sesshomaru standing over Akitoki's and Akito's prone bodies. A silent snarl twisted his face as he bared his teeth, hands clenched and stance tense. Numbly she registered she'd never seen so much emotion in his face and he'd never seemed so much like the beast he was until then. The light pink tinting his golden eyes was a clear indicator he was fighting with himself and unthinkingly she called out to him. Her voice wasn't even above whisper and still in that deep place within herself, she was too numb to everything around her.

Molten gold and feral eyes looked at her with barely restrained rage as Sesshomaru acknowledged his name. They stood like that for a moment, just staring at each other as he tried to reign himself in and she continued to hide deep within herself. When he took a step forward her power –that had been waiting for _something_ to injure- lashed out instinctively at the clearly _demonic_ aura. She barely reacted as it did, merely blinked flatly as she continued to hold her shirt closed. Sesshomaru closed his eyes tightly as a slice appeared on his cheek and the power stung his arm but when he opened his eyes again they were no longer tinted pink. His blank expression was once again gracing his features as he looked at her calmly. He took another step and this time her holy power merely wavered at the top of her skin before sinking beneath the surface when he took another.

As he came closer, she blinked slowly in an attempt to shake off the numbness. _'I'm probably in shock.'_ She thought idly as her eyes slid back to the unconscious forms of Akito and Akitoki once more. She started slightly when suddenly Sesshomaru was kneeling in front of her and he brushed an arrant lock of hair away from her face. She blinked at him once more before numbly saying, "Police…call'm…you've got call'm…"

Her words were too strung together but she swore she saw his eyes soften as he said softly, "Okay…okay Kagome. I'll call them."

Everything from then went by in a haze because the next thing she knew she was sitting in the back of an ambulance with Sesshomaru standing close to her side. They watched police take both men into the back of their cars in handcuffs before an EMT walked up to them and her eyes lazily slid to the woman's face. The woman smiled a little sympathetically before looking over at Sesshomaru and talking slowly incase Kagome was listening, which she was…or at least she was trying to.

"They admitted to spiking her drinks but they won't say with what but I took some of her blood so we should be getting the results tomorrow or the day after. She's in shock right now so let her slip it off but once she wakes up I expect that she's going to be a bit of a mess. If there's someone-"

"She'll be staying with me."

Two separate pairs of eyes looked at him after his firm tone but Kagome was too numb to really react. The woman glanced at Kagome but at no sign of rejection she nodded her head slowly and smiled softly, "Alright…okay. That might actually be a good idea. Here, she should take these pills when she wakes up. They're sedatives in case she gets too distraught. She has some bruising around her ribs and stomach. One of them admitted to hitting her after she tried to fight back."

Sesshomaru growled low in his throat but nodded his head after taking the pills from the woman and slipping them in his pocket. It was only then Kagome vaguely realized he was in street clothes. She was sure she'd be shocked if she could feel something but all that she felt in the back of her mind was a faint buzz. The woman smiled sadly at both of them and said, "I expect these men are going away for a long time but just in case, when she's feeling better ask her if she would like to be a witness. It might help her get some closure…and keep close to her."

She glanced at the place where Kagome's small hand clung to Sesshomaru's loose shirt tightly. Since he'd called the police she hadn't let him wander far from her even if she didn't remember or realize it. However, the woman could see that the dark haired business man was very important to the woman and he'd probably be the only thing to calm her. Leaning in slightly the woman said, "I'm glad you were able to get there in time…or at least before it got too far. Most woman get through the trauma of the 'almost' but if it had gotten any farther….I don't know if she'd be able to get past it."

Sesshomaru's eyes slid shut for a moment before they slid over to Kagome's blank face and still form. Something in his eyes must have spoken volumes because the woman patted his arm and she said reassuringly, "I'm sure she'll be fine. From the damage she did I'm sure she's a strong girl."

The corners of his mouth quirked up for a moment as he continued to gaze at Kagome and said with a foreign emotion in his voice, "Stubborn and annoying as well…"

Something sparked for a second in dull blue eyes as Kagome stared back at the taiyoukai and the EMT chuckled lightly. "Alright, I'll let you go but in case of anything here's the hospital's number. Please call them if anything happens."

Sesshomaru took the card from the woman and bowed slightly, murmuring a soft thanks before picking up Kagome bridle style. He was mildly shocked by how light she was and annoyed at her stillness. Kagome was never still, that just wasn't like her but then he wondered if she'd ever be anything other than this husk after…

He shook himself and scowled as he walked towards his car, scolding himself for being so stubborn and not just going to the damn get together when he heard those to filths were going. This all could have been averted if he had. He wouldn't be holding this empty cocoon that was Kagome and wishing she was yelling at him for being such an idiot. He heard her murmur and even for his excellent hearing it was hard to understand but he caught it. "Tired…"

The taiyoukai hummed softly in acknowledgement before saying, "Don't fall asleep yet."

She hummed lightly in turn as he settled her into the passenger seat in the front and felt her tense for a split second before relaxing. When he was sure she was fine and secured he walked over to the driver's side. He got in quickly and started the car, making sure he was breaking every law as he sped to his pent house condo. It didn't take much time to get there but he could see Kagome's eyes were already drooping by the time he was parking. He got out and picked her up once more causing her to jolt awake as for a moment her power rose to the surface and lashed out against his youki. This time he was prepared though and he braced himself, letting his youki turn mostly solid around him. Her hazy eyes sharpened slightly and she looked at his face, narrowing them as though trying to place his face before relaxing in his arms. Her holy power slowly slid beneath the surface once more and slept as she sagged against him, murmuring a soft apology into his shoulder. He gritted his teeth, as powerful as he was now compared to five hundred years ago. The brunt of that much holy power at this close a distance was painful, especially since now most of her power wasn't locked away inside of her. He let a slow breath his out between his teeth as he relaxed before walking up to an elevator. Maneuvering her so that he could insert a key into the elevator and hit his floor's button as she clung to him, he managed to get them into his penthouse with no mishaps. He didn't even bother turning on the lights as he went straight for the guest room, she shuddered as he gently placed her on the bed and he winced.

He could scent the distress just below the surface of this cold numbness and knew when she woke, it would be bad. He stood up after tucking her in and turned to walk away but suddenly slim delicate fingers latched on to his jeans not letting him leave. When he looked down dull blue eyes were looking up at him and deep within them something pled with him.

"Stay…dun'leaf…dun…go…n'yet."

He wavered for a moment before sitting on the edge of the bed by her head and she curled around him, letting her head rest against his thigh. Hesitantly, almost fearfully he let his hand rest against her raven locks and card through them. Blue eyes closed and she sighed contently before asking, "How…?"

Sesshomaru blinked before he understood the question. "Misa called me and told me Akito and Akitoki had taken you. She said you didn't look good and she had a bad feeling."

A flash of a scene went through her head and she remembered seeing everyone's worried faces as one woman was on the phone. _'Thank kami_.' However, a silly grin curled Kagome's features as the fog still muddled her thoughts as she slurred out. "ood'puppy. Knight…shin…armor."

The taiyoukai scoffed softly at being called a puppy but continued to run his fingers through soft locks as Kagome slowly fell into slumber. He looked at the petite young woman and again a foreign note entered his tone as he said gruffly, "Next time _listen_ to others."

Kagome blinked lethargically before relaxing completely and breathing out a soft, "Promise…I promise."

Then she was out and although relieved the taiyoukai knew they were not out of the woods. Determined to get some kind of sleep before the trouble began he slid from her grasp and went to his own room across the hall but left her door open in case of anything.

(OoO)

A scream was what woke her before she realized the one screaming was her. Images flashed across her mind and she felt hands all over her body as she clawed at her skin. She dragged in a ragged breath before screaming again, thrashing in whatever was wrapping around her as she tried to get away. _'Please, please, please! For Kami's sake PLEASE! Don't! Don't do this! Let me go!'_ She thrashed violently, screaming as tears escaped from her eyes and fingernails clawed at her skin.

Suddenly a strong pair of hands wrapped around her wrists and a sob ripped from her throat before another scream ripped from her throat but this time a plea. "_Please!_ Please. Please oh Kami, please let me go!"

The hands seemed to pull back sharply as though burned and once again she was clawing at her skin as she felt it crawl in disgust. She felt like a million hands were running over her body and she just wanted it to _STOP_. Suddenly, she was wrapped up in something and picked up. Her eyes snapped open for a second to reveal nothing but pitch black darkness and she slammed her eyes shut as terror shot through her. They were going to do this. They were going to get her. This was it. She could vaguely make out noises and soft grunts every time her thrashing hit a solid form. She could feel her power lashing out at _something_ but that shouldn't be possibly because it couldn't affect humans. However, all rational thoughts were out the window as nothing but terror and humiliation coursed through her.

Abruptly, she was in someone's lap and she could feel arms around her thrashing, quivering figure as she fought. Then she could hear a familiar voice murmuring something soothingly to her and a familiar scent filled her nostrils. Snow. Snow, pine and frost filled her nose in a familiar manner. Kagome's brain registered who the scent belonged to and a sob ripped from her throat as she curled into Sesshomaru's comforting embrace through the blankets. She buried herself deep within his arms as she tried to hide from the rapid play of memories and the phantom feel of hands on her body. She could feel his low purr-like growl from deep within his chest as he tried to sooth her much like a pup. When she continued to sob even when her throat grew ragged, he seemed to move like he was stretching to reach something.

"Here…take this." 

She opened her eyes slightly to see two pills and a glass of water in her face. A soft whimper escaped her and she shrunk away from it. A low reprimanding growl rolled out of him and he said firmly, "Woman, take it. I am not above forcing it down your throat."

She flinched in his arms and suddenly he sighed, "Drink it, Kagome…please."

Kagome's muddled mind registered the word that was probably very foreign to the taiyoukai and automatically took it out of guilt. However, even after she swallowed the pills she did not stop crying as she tried to curl herself into a smaller but tighter ball in his arms until she finally succumbed to a medication induced sleep. Her mind slowly fogging up pleasantly and then slipping into a comforting darkness as snow covered pine trees floated through the edge of her thoughts.

_TBC…_

**A/N:** I'll admit it….i feel _horrible_ for this chapter but I _swear_ I make up for it in the next one. This will be one of the ONLY dark/angsty chapters I have in this story. However, like I said it was necessary to get things really going. In the next chapter you'll see that there is a definite shift within their relationship although there will be no obvious love or confessions yet. After all, Kagome still loves Inuyasha in her mind but this little incident definitely shakes things up a bit for her. I hope you guys will forgive me for this chapter and again if it upset anyone I am _terribly_ sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, sexual harassment (this chapter only)

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note: **

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*5*_

Waking was a slower process than usual, slower and more painful. She couldn't understand why some parts of her _burned_ so fiercely as the darkness slowly melted away. Awareness slowly crawled up to meet her as Kagome smelled bacon. With her eyes still closed she peeked her head out of the covers that covered it as her nose worked furiously to find that delicious scent. Something wriggled in the back of her mind but she ignored it in favor of the heavenly scent of…_cocoa_.

Kagome slowly sat up and it was then she noticed the bed she laid on was far too big and comfortable to be hers. Immediately her eyes snapped open and she looked around herself at the unfamiliar surroundings before looking down at herself. A small distressed noise escaped her lips as she noticed red angry welts and a few long scratch marks on her skin where nails had broken it. Her mind worked furiously to remember what had happened and where she was. What came back to her made her stomach flop and the smell of food suddenly didn't smell so tantalizing any longer. Vague images of Akito and Akitoki flashed before her mind's eye. Being taken from the bar, feeling powerless, being held down and then _Sesshomaru_. She felt her heart thud as she remembered the tone his voice took at describing her as stubborn and annoying. He'd sounded almost…_fond_. There had been something completely affectionate about his gaze and tone. Another sensation flashed through her head, his fingers running through her hair as she called him a puppy.

A wry smile curled her lips before she shuddered as she remembered how she got the marks on her body. She had the vague recollection of his arms around her and him telling her it would be alright. Kagome could remember how tightly he held her and how _safe_ she'd felt even when he threatened to shove the pills down her throat. She huffed slightly at that. _'Figures even having a meltdown he'd still find time to be a jerk.'_ A smile played along her lips before they tilted downward slightly as she remembered the tone he'd had when he told her please…there had been concern and…she didn't dare really think it but _pain_. Had it really hurt him to see her like that?

"You're awake." 

Blue eyes looked up into gold before glancing away, she pulled the covers around her as she suddenly felt conscious under his intense gaze. Sesshomaru watched her for a second more before letting his eyes slide to the side and he said, "I called your home. I was…unsure if you would prefer your mother know the details of your _incident_ so I explained it as two old…_friends_ catching up."

Blue eyes darted back to Sesshomaru with surprise written in them but he shifted uncomfortably and did not meet her gaze. She could see his stance was tense. Much like when they'd first run into each other and she realized after last night he didn't know how to act. If she was breakable. Huffing lightly, a rueful smile curled her lips and she said slightly teasingly, "_Sesshomaru_? Does he even _have_ friends? Surely there are only those he conquers! After all the great taiyoukai of the west would never befriend a lowly ningen."

He shot her a light glare and scoffed, relaxing a little under her familiar teasing. He turned his nose up and sniffed delicately in an all too snobbish way. "Indeed, this one would never befriend such filth."

When he looked at her again there was something different in his gaze and he was somewhat solemn again. "However, he would certainly befriend a Miko who helped him long ago."

Something in her froze as they stared at each other for a moment before he broke it by looking away. "As known as it is that ningen like to sleep in late we both have duties to attend to. I do not tolerate sloth."

Kagome let out a little squawk of outrage and looked for something to sling at the taiyoukai but he was already gone by the time she threw a pillow where his head had been. She huffed indignantly, rolling her eyes at the strangeness of inu yoiukai before everything came crashing down on her. She shuddered as she realized her stupidity had nearly gotten her raped. If Sesshomaru hadn't come…If no one had thought to call him…Kagome shuddered once more at the thought. Even now she felt her skin crawl as she remembered their hungry gazes and wandering hands. She'd been scared, terrified and for a second she'd given up.

"Up, Higurashi!"

Kagome jolted at Sesshomaru's loud call and glowered at the door before exiting the room. She stopped slightly before laughing as she realized once again Sesshomaru had saved her. Instead of letting her stew in her thoughts he'd jolted her out of them. Grumbling good-naturedly about troublesome Inu youkai she entered the area she heard his voice come from and was pleasantly surprised. Set up on the table was an array of food but most of them were her favorites and in front of what she guessed was her chair was a steaming cup of hot cocoa. She raised an eyebrow at the taiyoukai and said teasingly, "Someone's been busy."

He snorted softly yet not any less rudely before saying, "This Sesshomaru had time on his hands. We youkai do not need as much sleep as you ningen do."

She smiled lightly at the way he slipped into the way he used to speak whenever she teased him and he was acting like an uppity snob. It was _fun_. He pulled out the seat for her as she sat down before helping her scoot in and she immediately dived into the cocoa. "Your haha-ue stated that the beverage was the best thing to give you in the morning after a rough night."

Kagome glanced up at the youkai a little stunned at how much thought he had put into this. She vaguely wondered if he realized there was no way he was going to be able to play the aloof 'I don't care about you' card after this show of concern. She smiled warmly at the Inu and said, "It is, thank you Sesshomaru-sama."

His eyes rolled up in an exasperated manner –it was the closest she'd ever gotten him to actually rolling his eyes- and said, "I am no longer a true lord '-sama' is not needed."

Kagome gave him a lopsided smile and she said fondly, "You will always be Sesshomaru-sama to me."

She went back to her cocoa and nibbled on a piece of bacon, not noticing the look on Sesshomaru's face. However, she flinched slightly when his arm came into her peripheral vision when he went to put some food on her plate and he stilled. She looked up at him worriedly and saw something flash across his face before she remembered something else from last night. She remembered a hand grabbing her wrists to stop her from clawing at herself before pulling away sharply after she screamed. Horrified, Kagome realized that it had been Sesshomaru trying to keep her from hurting herself and her scream for him to let her go was what made him snatch his hand away as though she'd burned him. Hoping to rectify an automatic reaction she reached out to assure him it was not _him_ she was flinching away from. However, a shutter seemed to fall over his face and he smoothly slid out from her hand after he put the food down.

"It's best if you eat something before we head out."

It was then she noticed his clothing. He was still wearing the shirt and jeans he'd been wearing from last night, they were crumpled and wrinkled as though he'd been sleeping in them. When he turned to leave she asked quietly, "Did you get any sleep?"

He was quiet for a moment before he said, "Yes."

"Was that before or after my screaming?"

Her eyes narrowed in on him and almost unnoticeably she saw him flinch at her words. Instantly she regretted it but he answered anyway. "Both times."

She wavered, debating on asking her next question before it came out of her mouth of its own volition. "Where did you sleep?"

He was quiet for a moment before he looked over his shoulder at her and said, "I did not leave your side."

Then he was gone and Kagome could feel guilt eating away at her. How could she have _flinched_ from him? She felt horrible. Since they met, in his own way Sesshomaru had been nothing but kind to her and after one incident she repays him by flinching away. Disgust and self-loathing coursed through her system before a voice growled, "Stop that. It is not your fault."

She blinked and looked up at a disgruntled taiyoukai. Immediately, annoyance flashed through her and she was angry at _him_. Then she felt guilty for the emotion and sadness quickly followed suit. Sesshomaru let out a low growl as he rubbed his temples and stated. "I forgot how much of a confusing and troublesome human you were. You're emotions are far too erratic."

Kagome blinked before laughter burst forth as she was reminded acutely of Inuyasha for a second. He gave her a perplexed look and she returned it with an apologetic one as she said, "I'm sorry. It's just that what you said reminded me so much of Inuyasha that it was amusing for a second."

She turned back to the food on the table and gathered some fruit on to her plate, never seeing the strange look on the youkai's face. She hadn't realized it but for once she'd spoken the hanyo's name without a hint of depression. Mentally shrugging it off, the taiyoukai went to finish getting ready deciding to put troublesome bipolar humans out of his mind for the moment.

(OoO)

Her whole day had gone in a blur between sticking close to Ami and dodging the girl's concerned questions everytime she flinched away from a boys too close gesture. It was tiresome so when she got to Hidenori Enterprise she went straight to Sesshomaru's room, ignoring all the concerned glances of the employees. It was weird to have so many people suspect and yet not really know. She nodded her head in vague acknowledgement when Sesshomaru's secretary Misa quietly let her know 'HIsato-san hasn't been in as of yet today' but continued to enter his rooms. Without thinking she curled up on his couch in the corner that sat in front of the coffee table and stared blankly into the room. Seeing as Sesshomaru hadn't been in yet the lights were dim, so if she wanted –which she really, really did- she could take a nap comfortably.

"Ano…HIgurashi-san….?"

Blue eyes looked over to where Misa stood, nervously in the doorway. The woman smiled tremulously as she said, "I'm glad you're okay."

'_Am I? Am I fine?'_ She smiled slightly as she remembered her and Sesshomaru's conversation. _'I might not be now…but I will be.'_ Giving the woman a warm smile as she remembered she was the reason Sesshomaru had known to save her at all she said, "Thank you, Misa-san. HIsato-san told me you were the one I had to thank for him coming."

The woman gave her a shy smile before closing the door and letting Kagome drift off.

(OoO)

He wanted to kill something. He _hated_ this era for the simple fact he could no longer go out and slice a ruling lord's head off. It had been so much simpler back then. His anger softened a bit as he thought of the infuriating yet hard to deny young woman he'd somehow ended up friends with. Maybe life in this era _wasn't_ so bad. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a soft disgusted sound. His annoyance once again boiled up to the surface as he looked through the papers in the folder detailing the arrangements for the trail regarding those two scumbags. He didn't want Kagome anywhere near those two again. If it hadn't been for the fact Kagome was right there and there were too many buildings, Sesshomaru would have killed them. He would have enjoyed it too.

"Sesshomaru-sama…?"

Glittering golden eyes looked up into dark ones and Ito swallowed thickly for a moment before he said, "We're back."

Sesshomaru glanced out the window and saw that they were indeed back at Hidenori enterprise. "Hn"

He exited the vehicle and stood fluidly as he looked around the company front, deciding it might be time to expand a little more. Deciding that was the best way to get his mind off the rage bubbling under his skin he began to plan on the expansion as he walked through the building. Ignoring Ito's protest as he took the stairs up to his office, the bear youkai needed the exercise anyway.

When he arrived at the main floor of his office he was met with more subdued employees and he had no doubt as to why. Scoffing slightly he continued to walk through until he was in front and turned on his heels to face them all. He cleared his throat and everyone froze as they looked into his cold expression. "I am sure a good portion of you are aware that last night at a gathering, a colleague and family friend was accosted by two of your ex-coworkers. As of yesterday they are being charged and sentenced jail time."

He paused and let them all soak that information up before he continued on, "Let that be a warning to any of you that while it may not be at work, I have no problem taking action if my aid is needed among my employees and colleagues. I trust this will be the _only_ time I receive a phone call about something like this. Understood?"

There was a wave of confirming murmurs to his question. Satisfied he nodded his head and turned, only to be faced with his secretary MIsa and the woman he had to thank for alerting him to the danger Kagome had been in. He looked her over before looking at Ito and saying, "Make sure she gets a raise."

The woman's eyes grew large enough to pop out of her head before shaking her head fervently, "Oh no sir. I couldn't! I was just doing what any human being would do!"

He scoffed softly and said, "Yet they didn't. You did. I already said it, Kimigura-san. You're getting the raise."

She wavered slightly before bowing deeply, "Thank you so very much, HIsato-san demo that's not why I came to you."

He raised an eyebrow at her and said, "Oh? Pray tell."

Suddenly, a soft look touched her features and she said warmly, "HIgurashi-san came earlier. It appears she's fallen asleep on your couch sir."

Sesshomaru huffed softly, exasperation coursing through his veins. _'That girl…'_ Looking at Ito he said, "Please pick up HIgurashi-san something light to eat."

He turned to continued walking but stopped and hesitated for a second before adding, "And also some hot cocoa."

Ito blinked before he nodded his head and raced out. Sesshomaru continued walking to his office as Misa went back to her desk. Gently, opening and then closing his office door Sesshomaru's eyes easily spotted Kagome's curled up form on the couch. He walked over quietly and watched her for a second before reaching out to shake her awake. However, a second before his fingertips brushed her skin he remembered the fear on her face and her scream for him to let her go. Snatching his hand back like it been burned he sood straighter and watched her for a second. Her black hair fanned out under her like a halo, paler than usual skin seemed to glow with untapped power and her petite form was curled up in mock example of the fetus position. For the third time since seeing her again in the future he felt something squirm in his stomach. He vaguely remembered this feeling from his days allied to Inuyasha's misfit group. Like then, he vaguely wondered about it before turning around and heading back towards his desk.

(OoO)

Kagome was rudely awakened by a pillow in the face, curtesy of one Sesshomaru. She was going to purify his ass to the high heavens she swore silently as she jolted awake. For once she shot him a perfectly frigid glare as she sat up, annoyed at being awaken so rudely and not wanting to move around too much. Amusement flashed across his features for a split second much to her chagrin it was once again at her expense. She grumbled softly about Inu youkai not at _all_ being man's best friend and it was his turn to throw her a glare.

"I heard that…." Kagome blinked innocently as she said, "Heard what?"

He scowled at the cheeky Miko and decided he most definitely should have thrown the pillow harder. Filing that note for the next time he found her asleep in his office he sat down at his desk. Envy ran through her at the grace with which he moved to even _sit. Down._ Pouting slightly she wondered if that was even legal, to be so pretty and graceful. Sighing lightly, she uncurled herself from the couch and walked over to his desk, slumping in the chair in front of it and leaning her head on the desk. She played with a few pens there before she spotted the file he'd brought in while he worked on his laptop. _That_ was still a strange sight for her but she brushed it off in favor of reaching for the file. However, Sesshomaru's eyes caught the movement and he asked, "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

She froze for a second before sheepishly looking up at him when she said, "Looking?"

He snorted rudely as he looked back at her and said, "Were you asking me or telling me?"

The little miko pouted, forgetting he tended to tease her just as much as she teased him and huffed. Snatching the folder away and not even noticing his protest she said with a healthy dose of snark, "I'm telling you."

"Kagome wait-!"

She froze when she saw the files inside the folder. Two pictures one of Akito and the other of Akitoki, stared back at her and suddenly she didn't feel so good. Slowly she placed it down on the table and looked up at him but he wouldn't meet her eyes. "Were you going to tell me?"

His eyes turned steely and he scowled before looking at her, "No."

A small smile played along her lips but there was something sad about it as she looked at Sesshomaru. "You really are the same yet different."

He paused unsure if she meant from his past self or Inuyasha and she didn't clarify as she looked back down at the file. "Didn't that woman say to ask me if I wanted to be a witness?"

Sesshomaru struggled with himself for a moment, instincts screaming at him to lock her away far from those men while year in this era taught him to give everyone their own choices. Finally, knowing she was not the type to like being controlled, he slowly nodded his head.

"Do you want to be there….to help convict them? There will be other women."

Her eyes snapped up at those words and Sesshomaru merely shrugged. Blue eyes looked down at the files and turned hard with fury. "They did that…to other girls?!"

He could see her righteous anger and a small smile curled his lips for a second. _'Strong, stubborn and annoying indeed.'_ When Kagome looked back up at him there was no more anxiety or hidden fear but the Miko he knew from his pup days. "I want to be there. I want them put away for a long time."

Sesshomaru studied the hard gaze in her eyes and slowly nodded his head. "Their trial is in a few days. I'll give you the phone number to call so you can let the prosecutor know."

She nodded her head stiffly and curled up on the chair, looking at the files unseeingly. He could smell the rapid shift in her emotions but the prime one was relief and anger. She was strong, she'd get through this.

(OoO)

Sesshomaru looked up from the paperwork that was spread out on the plush carpet around him when he heard his doorbell. He blinked, unsure as to who would be visiting his place this late at night when he took in the scent. He immediately recognized the familiar combination of dawn, lilies and lightning. Blinking he stood up and hurried to the door, swinging it open harshly he looked a fidgeting Kagome over. However, when he found nothing wrong but the refusal to meet his gaze the taiyoukai looked at her perplexed.

"Kagome? What are you doing here?"

She glanced up at him before blushing in embarrassment and he realized he didn't have a shirt on and was in loose fitting sleeping pants. He smirked slightly before once again asking, "Something I can help you with, Higurashi-san?"

The girl jolted a bit before softly asking, "Um…would it be okay it…can i…ano…"

His eyes searched her face as she tried to get the words out before her scent told him what she could not. Softening slightly –admittedly reluctantly- he moved out of the way and said, "Come in, Kagome."

The bright, relieved smile he got in turn was reward enough and once again for the third time since he saw again something inside him twisted in that familiar way it had as a pup. Vaguely, he wondered if he would ever actually regret this reluctant friendship they had built up. When she began to chatter away as she walked through his home he huffed slightly. _'Probably_…'However, faithfully he followed behind her after closing the door.

_TBC…_

**A/N:** Hopefully this chapter was lighter and less intense than the last one. I felt _so_ bad just leaving it as is and immediately began writing this one to lighten the mood a bit. As you can see they were much more open with each other. Hope you guys enjoyed it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note: **I'm so glad all of you are enjoying TGWAS and like how I'm portraying Sesshomaru and Kagome. I really am trying to keep them as in character as I can while also showing that as its 500 years later Sesshomaru has _had_ to adapt and change a little. I hope you all continue to like TGWAS and continue reading it. Thank you all for reviewing and a special thank you to all those that have Fav/followed it!

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*6*_

_Definitely_.

He _definitely_ regretted it as the sound of a door slamming open and a certain young woman's voice echoed through the pent house. "OH _SESSHOMARU_!"

He was tempted to curl up more in his blankets and bury himself in his pile but he settled for merely growling, the loud animalistic sound echoing through the apartment. A certain raven haired Miko threw open his door and let in the slip of light that haunted his hallway as she laughed merely. It had been another three months since the incident and she was nearly back to her old self, after she'd gone to the trial and testified it was like a door closed and she left it behind her. However, she now constantly visited his pent house and sometimes stayed over much to his chagrin. Now more than ever she was ingraining herself into his daily life and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"Oh come on you big puppy! It's _snowing_! Let's go play!"

He shot her a particularly frigid glare with one eye before closing it and trying to resume sleep. She huffed softly before she grew quiet and quiet Kagome was never good. Suddenly, feeling anxious he opened his eyes in time to dodge a glass of water and pin the petite woman under him. He gave her a rather unimpressed look and she scowled at the taiyoukai. She grumbled lightly about stupid spider senses for inu youkai's as she struggled experimentally before giving up and relaxing completely. He let out an approving growl at her submissive act and she rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You're such a dog."

He scoffed softly as he changed his position so this time he was sitting on her stomach causing her to let out a soft grunt. "This Sesshomaru does not appreciate being compared to ningen's domesticated canines."

She let out a soft whine as she flailed, "_Fine, fine_! Now get off. You aren't exactly light your lordliness."

He sniffed before smoothly getting up to his feet and stretching. A soft 'eep' and the scent of Kagome's embarrassment reminded him that he was only dressed in shorts. He glanced over his shoulder to see her beet red and gazing everywhere but him. A slow sly smirk curled his lips as he said, "It is nothing you haven't seen already."

She let out an indignant sound as she looked at him sharply before letting out another embarrassed sound and slapping her hands over her face. "Sesshomaru!"

For one rare moment he let a laugh –a real godforsaken _laugh_- flow from his lips before he gathered some clothes and went into the bathroom. He never noticed Kagome's dazed expression or the shift in her scent.

When he came back out the bathroom after a shower and redressing in more casual clothes that he usually wore his nose told him Kagome had moved to the kitchen. Glancing outside he confirmed that it was in fact snowing although it was gently but the ground was already covered in white and he knew exactly what Kagome wanted. Sighing softly, he looked at his closet and an idea popped into his mind as he remembered the outfit she currently wore. Warm cocoa brown leggings with a thigh length skirt, white turtle neck and a brown with fur waist coat. Taking out something she would immediately recognize he threw it over his shoulders and walked into the hall way towards her. She was staring intently into her cup of cocoa much to his amusement and for a moment he simply watched her. Raven hair was slightly curled most likely due to the snowflakes that had landed on it, a few flakes still clung stubbornly to her eyelashes, blue eyes while dark from thought glittered vibrantly and she seemed to glow. Something in him seemed to squeeze painfully but he ignored it in favor of flaring his youki to alert her to his presence.

She started slightly and his lips quirked up at her annoyed huff as she spun around to scold him only to freeze. Slowly, a smile pulled at her lips before she said softly, "I always wondered what happened to your mokomoko-sama."

"Hn." He walked past her and grabbed the cup of coffee on the counter, knowing from their routine that Kagome had left it for him. He wasn't particularly fond of the bitter taste but after working so long last night, he needed it. His eyes glanced up when he noticed Kagome's eyes were still on him. He gave her a questioning look and her eyes sparkled with laughter as she grinned. "Just musing at how much that outfit fits you surprisingly."

He raised an eyebrow before looking down at his outfit. He wore a dark blue turtle neck, faded black jeans and boots that looked like they were barely used. Over his shoulders was his two tails, trailing slightly along the floor. His hair was slightly longer so his bangs brushed against his cheeks and got into his eyes if he tilted his head a certain way. He didn't wear his glamour so white and gold molded together on his delicate yet firm features.

"I have been living in this new world for half a millennium. This Sesshomaru would hope he has learned to at least appear to fit in."

Kagome went to tease him but he pinned her with a flat look and she shut her mouth. He took the last drink of his coffee before setting the mug down in the sink and looking her over.

"What has brought you to my pent house this time, Higurashi?"

She opened her mouth to protest that she didn't only come when she wanted something but the look he gave her made Kagome stop before they even came out. Huffing slightly, she sat back in her seat and looked past him before meeting his gaze a moment later.

"I've told you about Ami and her boyfriend, Toya…"

It wasn't really a question but he nodded his head anyway. He remembered the passing conversations during late nights when both their guards were down and they opened up willingly to one another about things. "Well they're going out and they want me to come along but I don't want it to be awkward with just three people so I figured you needed a break and it's snowing so…"

He blinked slowly before sighing, she didn't want to be a third wheel and so he was being used again. Once more he didn't find himself really minding that all too much and slowly nodded his head in agreement albeit reluctantly. "That is a…agreeable solution."

Kagome blinked and she said in clear shock, "It is?"

She had been expecting to have to argue a bit more or at least coerce him into going. However, she grinned happily as she asked, "Really?"

Once more his eyes flickered to the ceiling in a 'why me' look –she was still working on getting him to fully roll his eyes- and he growled out impatiently, "I would not have said so otherwise, Miko."

The scent of dawn and lilies got stronger as her happiness became apparent and strangely enough that soothed him immensely. She leapt up from her chair and much to his shock through herself at him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug that he wasn't prepared for. For a moment he stood frozen unsure of what to do before wincing as an image flashed through his head and he shifted. A soft squeak escaped Kagome as she realized what she'd done and she looked up at him nervously. However, he wouldn't meet her eyes and he carefully detangled himself from her arms. "I will go finish preparing."

Without another word he was gone and Kagome was alone in the kitchen again. She sighed softly, _'Good job, Kags. That was real smooth.'_ Ever since the incident Sesshomaru shied away from touching her or being touched by her. There were moments where he let down his guard or he forgot for a bit and they were able to touch but more times than most. He avoided touching her completely. Blinking she was surprised to realize she wished that could change, that she could hug him without the worry that he would reject her. Frowning lightly, she filed that realization away for later and decided to wait by the door for him.

(OoO)

"HIgurashi, need I remind you of the numerous times you managed to find yourself in some kind of trouble that was over your head?"

"Oh let's not bring up _that_ ancient history." Ami giggled as she watched the two bicker teasingly. Kagome looked over to her friend and grinned as she said, "Do you realize when this jerk was younger he was a cold bastard?"

"Hn"

"See! Totally a jerk." Toya laughed lightly as he glanced at the slightly older looking man next to Kagome, his lips pulled into a slightly barely noticeable smile. "You two seem really close now."

The boy said teasingly as he wrapped his arm around Ami's shoulder when she shivered. Kagome rolled her eyes and said, "That's only because after Rin-"

She winced and felt Sesshomaru tense beside her before his body relaxed but she felt his youki flare unsteadily still. She looked up at him but his face was unreadable much like it used to be as they continued to walk. It was quiet for a split second and the couple looked at both Kagome and Sesshomaru worriedly but the man simply took a breath and gave Kagome a slight nod. Hesitantly, she looked at him before continuing softly. "That's only because after Rin he was puppy mush."

He snorted lightly but said nothing, the look in his eyes distant but he was still paying attention. Ami opened her mouth to ask who Rin was but spotted the café they were headed to. "Oh! There it is!"

Kagome and Sesshomaru looked at the sign that read _Hatsukoi Kafe_ as they walked over to the door. Ami and Kagome squealed in that girlish way that made both men wince as they rushed through the doors, talking rapidly about how adorable the café was. Toya sighed before looking at Sesshomaru with a slight grin as he said, "I guess we're pretty doomed now, huh?"

Sesshomaru glanced at the ningen beside him and his lips quirked up as he said, "I realized I was doomed long ago."

Toya blinked before a chuckle escaped his lips and they followed after the girls who called to them. _'And Kagome said he didn't have a sense of humor.'_ Toya thought with no lack of amusement as he wrapped his arms around Ami from behind. She readily leaned into his embrace as she chattered with Kagome about the design of the café while Sesshomaru merely stood beside Kagome. They glanced at each other at the same moment and no one missed the soft looks exchanged between the two that caused a hiccup in Ami's chatter before she said abruptly,

"How about you guys find us a table while Kagome-chan and I freshen up!"

Kagome blinked at the sudden change of topic but both men didn't refuse as they watched both girls walk away. When they entered the privacy of the bathroom Ami whirled around grinning. "He's cute."

Blue eyes blinked rapidly as they tried to keep up but all that escaped was an unintelligent, "Huh?"

"Hisato-san! He's cute."

Kagome furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and said defensively, "Ami! I thought you liked Toya!"

This time it was Ami's turn to blink before she blushed and said, "No! Oh kami-sama! Kagome I was referring to you!"

This time the little Miko gave the girl a perplexed look before she said, "He's just an old friend. His younger _brother_ is _that_ guy."

Ami blinked before a soft frown curled her lips down as she said, "Are you sure….I was so positive with the way you looked at each other…"

A soft smile curled the Miko's lips as she said, "Me and Hisato-san have just been through a lot together in the past few months. We appreciate each other and the memories we share together."

Her silly friend deflated slightly but smiled nonetheless as she said, "I still say he's cute."

Kagome rolled her eyes and threw up her hands as she laughed. "_Fine_, Ami-chan. He's sex on legs that doesn't mean he's not a bastard when he wants to be."

Ami giggled before she grew a little thoughtful and she asked timidly, "Who is Rin?"

The petite woman winced and looked at the ground, debating whether it was a good idea before she said softly, "She was his daughter. He found her when she was a little girl and adopted her. She died of leukemia."

Her friend's hands flew up to her mouth in horror and she said, "OH, I'm so sorry."

A small sad smile tugged at Kagome's lips as she said, "It is okay. He says she died with a smile on her face so…I guess in the end she was happy. Happy that he was with her till the end."

They were quiet for a moment before Kagome giggled and said, "They're probably trying to figure out what we're gossiping about."

Kagome knew that even with his super hearing Sesshomaru would have some trouble hearing them because of all the noise and other voices. Laughing together for a moment, they walked out to see both males' slightly tense forms as they sat at a table. Kagome and Ami looked at each other before laughing, earning perplexed looks from both men. Ami slid into her seat beside Toya and Kagome slid in beside Sesshomaru, giving him an amused look for his annoyed glance. They bounced stories back and forth between each other as they relaxed and ate before heading out to the ice skating rink.

"Come _on_, Sesshomaru! The whole point is to actually skate at an ice skating rink."

The previous Lord of the West snorted rudely before he murmured, "You ningen come up with the most dangerous activities to have _fun_."

Kagome giggled, relieved they were mostly alone as she leaned over the guard to speak to Sesshomaru as he sat on one of the benches. No one could hear the content of their conversation unless they were right there with them. "Oh get off it. You could have fun too if you just came along."

Once again a half roll to the ceiling as his sign of exasperation with her but he didn't answer her out right. A tingling started on the inside of her nose and before she knew it a sneezed ripped from her unsuspectingly. She shivered slightly before her vision was filled with white and an added weight fell on to her shoulders. The petite young woman looked up to see Sesshomaru settling mokomoko-sama around her body as he murmured peevishly, "Wear proper attire for the weather, I knew this would happen."

He'd been carrying around the mokomoko over his light coat all day like it was a fur lining and now she knew why. She smiled warmly at him and buried her face into its fur, glancing up and studying his features shyly. He was cute or rather handsome, in that slightly dangerous but serious way. Her mind flashed back to the way he had looked laughing and decided she liked the way he looked laughing too. When she suddenly realized golden eyes were watching her curiously Kagome realized she'd been staring and blushed. Looking away she said shyly, "Thank you."

"Hn"

Kagome blinked before letting a frustrated sound escape her and left an amused taiyoukai by the guard wall alone. _"Stupid Ami and putting stupid thoughts about stupid inu jerks in my head.'_

(OoO)

Kagome yawned as she walked beside Sesshomaru, enjoying the quiet as they walked back to his place after a long day with Ami and Toya. After the skating rink they'd gone to see a movie and then –courtesy of Sesshomaru- they had a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant before separating to go their separate ways.

"You're ningen companions are agreeable to this Sesshomaru."

The Shikon Miko blinked before laughing at Sesshomaru's uppity words and grinned up at him. "I'm glad you like that, Sesshomaru-sama. They are quite agreeable to me as well."

She grinned as his lips twitched up and they continued to walk peacefully through the lamp lit sidewalks. They stopped at an intersection and Kagome looked down the path that led to the shrine she live in for most of her life. Strangely, it felt like she hardly lived there now. Looking up at Sesshomaru she said, "I'm this way."

He looked down the path to her home before seeming to decide something and said, "I will walk you all the way home."

Something inside her seemed to settle at his words and she nodded her head, "Okay…"

The silence was comfortable and for once she didn't feel the need to fill it. She was beginning to realize she liked that a lot more than the playful bantering they took part in. Glancing up at his peaceful face she said gratefully, "Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama."

She noticed his eyes closed for a moment before gold eyes slid over to her and he nodded his head. She had no doubt what brought that reaction out of him and said tentatively, "She would have loved this."

Sesshomaru blinked before a small barely noticeable smile curled his lips and he said, "She would have insisted on dragging me out in the middle of the night the moment it had started to snow."

Kagome laughed lightly and looked up at the sky, "She would have made Jaken play with her and curled up against A-Un to get warm after. Would have probably took over your mokomoko-sama to fall asleep while continuing to watch it fall. From the window."

She started slightly at the sound of tremulous air pushing past lips and looked over to see Sesshomaru laughing but this was full of sadness. "Indeed, she would have…I should thank you…"

Kagome blinked and shook her head, trying to clear the image of his sad –Kami he looked as though he had tears in his eyes- expression. "What do you mean?"

He looked at her, _really_ looked at her for once and said, "You became the mother I could not give her during her time spent in the village even though you had a kit to take care of. She…always spoke highly of you."

It was the first time since they met that the past was touched upon and she felt her insides quiver. A part of her yearned to know while another part was scared, scared to know the truth. Wavering slightly she asked, "Are you the only one still alive?"

He blinked and this time he seemed uncertain before he said, "No…there are…_others_ that you know of but…because of what happens it could change everything if you were to meet them."

Sesshomaru seemed to almost wince, "In truth I should not have…_allowed_ this much."

A spike of fear shot through her and as though sensing –what was she thinking of course he did- it he said reassuringly, "It is too late for me to pull away. The damage is done."

She relaxed slightly and said, "I'm sorry for my selfishness…"

The taiyoukai snorted, a small smile playing along his lips as they slowly approached the shrine. "This Sesshomaru believes that of all ningen, you are one of the only ones allowed to have a selfish wish once in a decade."

Kagome blinked before laughing shaking her head as they stopped in front of the shrine stairs. The taiyoukai looked up at the shrine before looking down at Kagome and murmuring, "It is time to part ways, Higurashi."

The young woman blinked before reaching up to remove mokomoko but Sesshomaru shook his head. "Keep it with you. You will need it more than I."

Before she could protest he was gone and she was left staring at the empty space he had been standing in. A soft huff of displeasure escaped her lips as she cursed rude youkai silently in her mind before turning and going up the stairs to her home. When she entered the house the familiar voice of her mother made her stop. "Kagome?"

"Yes, mama?"

Mrs. Higurashi stepped out of the living room and took in her daughters rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes before a slow smile that was nearly identical to Kagome's curled her lips. "How was your day?"

A grin bloomed across her daughter's face and she twirled around happily, a laugh escaping her mouth as she said, "Wonderful! It was so much fun!"

As Kagome continued to chatter happily Mrs. Higurashi wondered if the man who had called their house some time ago and that Kagome called Sesshomaru was the reason for the new spark in her daughter's eyes. If he was she would have to meet him someday and thank him for giving her, her daughter back. Idly, she also wondered if her daughter knew there was a soft smile on her face whenever she spoke of the man. Amusing herself slightly, Kagome's mother decided that no. Kagome probably didn't realize it and for now that was fine.

_TBC…_

**A/N:** So the next chapter will have a small section for Christmas and will signal the end of year one. AS you can see, their relationship has begun to take a shift but don't expect it to be a simple "oh we like each other great!" nope! The second year is going to have a little bit of angst and you miiiight end up getting pissed with Sesshomaru lol. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and look forward to more!


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:**

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*7*_

Sesshomaru blinked as he looked down at the paper in his hand. He hadn't seen Kagome for the past week or so and he'd been beginning to wonder what had happened to her but now he knew. How could he have forgotten…that silly ningen holiday. _Christmas_. His eyes narrowed at the invitation in his hand to join her family for the holiday and realized he was going to _hate_ this. Huffing lightly he looked up at Ito and growled, "Get the car prepared, we're going out."

Ito blinked and gave Sesshomaru and perplexed look but went to do as asked anyway.

(OoO)

Kagome looked over the gifts she'd bought and decided she might have gone a little overboard this year. Working at the museum gave her a fair amount of money add to that the fact that Sesshomaru insisted on paying her for any work or help she gave at his office and she always had a good bit of money on her. So she supposed it was to be expected that she had went overboard on the shopping this year. Her eyes fell on one particular gift that she'd been trying to hunt down for a while and a smile curled her lips. She had more people than just her family to shop for this year. It surprised Kagome to say it but much to her amazement she was content here. No longer did she have her panic attacks or yearn to go to the other side with Inuyasha. She found that so long as Sesshomaru was around she could possibly be happy here on this side of the well. She'd never thought she'd see the day were they became friends and they would be able to talk freely with each other. It honestly made her a bit reluctant to return to the past.

"Hey Sis?"

Blue eyes looked into eyes that were exactly like their mothers and smiled at her little brother. Already he was growing to meet her height and if she was honest it surprised her how _fast_ it seemed to happen. "What's up?"

"That guy…Sesshomaru…isn't that…?"

Kagome blinked, she'd forgotten her brother had spoken with Inuyasha and the hanyo would most likely mention his half-brother. A slow smile curled her lips and she winked playfully, "You'll just have to see."

He gave her a perturbed look and walked away, muttering about girls being weird and she giggled. Looking over at her pile of presents set aside a little from the tree she smiled and decided it was time to start getting ready. Her stomach was all in knots about tonight and she wanted it to be perfect.

(OoO)

A low growl escaped him as he collapsed into an armchair in his pent house, tired and thoroughly annoyed. He'd forgotten how utterly draining it was to deal with _him_ of everyone. Hopefully, he kept to the agreement and all would go smoothly…who was he kidding things were likely to go to hell than actually work. It _was_ them. Snorting in self amusement, he glanced at the clock upon the wall and sighed tiredly. He had to start getting ready if he wanted to be on time to Kagome's little soiree. He looked down at the few wrapped presents he had for Kagome and their family before deciding to call his driver to bring them to the car before he jumped in the shower.

"To think in five hundred years I'd be wrapped around my brother's Miko…."

He shook his head, an amused smile dancing along his lips as he got up. Now he understood what his brother had meant when he said 'You can't _not_ be friends with her.' A soft chuckle escaped as he entered his room, He'd meant it when he said he'd figured out long ago that he was doomed. Rin –he winced thinking about his ward- had been the first sign that he was and he'd accepted it willingly then. When he'd bent to Kagome's will and allowed her to stick around instead of doing the right thing and pushing her away it had just confirmed it.

He really was _doomed_.

(OoO)

Kagome helped her mother set the table and finish preparing the food as the males of the household got the living room ready for when they gathered there. Kagome was just setting a plate down on the table when their doorbell rang and she looked up at her mother. The older woman –Kagome was beginning to see the strands of white in her mother's hair- smiled sweetly at her daughter and nodded towards the hall. "Go and get the door. Let's meet this infamous Sesshomaru."

Kagome laughed slowly and immediately stood straight, taking larger steps in her rush to get to the door. Her breath caught when she opened the door and saw the taiyoukai standing there. His had his glamour on but the parts that counted like the shape of his face and the tilt of his lips as well as the glint in his eyes were all there. Over his arm was a waist coat, he wore a white button down shirt, a black blazer with slacks and shoes. His hair was pushed back in a tousled way that was probably gelled. He seemed to be studying her as intensely as she was studying him until finally he raised an imperious eyebrow and opened his mouth.

"AS much as I approve of your appreciation it is quite cold, Higurashi."

Kagome blinked before blushing beet red and making a frustrated noise. Twirling around on her heels she headed back into her home and waited in the hall for him to close the door. It was then she saw he carried a bag and a smile fought its way on to her lips. She knew how much Sesshomaru hated shopping, especially during holidays and reluctantly she softened a bit.

"Here, let me get that for you."

Fondly, she took his coat from his arm and hung it on a hanger before motioning him to follow her. She was relieved to see Souta and Grandpa weren't in the living room any longer. Kagome motioned towards the tree and said, "You can put that under the tree so you're not holding it."

"Hn"

He did as told and straightened, examining their tree with a soft look in his eye. After a moment he said softly, "She would have liked this."

Kagome blinked before smiling gently, glad that he was taking her advice to talk more about Rin to ease the pain. "I wish I could have had the chance to put the star on a tree with her."

He snorted softly before he said, "She wouldn't have stopped there."

Kagome laughed softly and shook her head, remembering the little girl that was full of life. "No…No I suppose not."

The taiyoukai heaved a great sigh and turned, his eyes glittering slightly but with what she still couldn't tell. He was still far too good at hiding his emotions from her sometimes.

"Come. I must be introduced to your family."

Rolling her eyes she motioned for him to follow her and they walked to the kitchen where everyone gathered. Kagome turned to Sesshomaru and said, "You can drop it."

He looked at her with mild surprise and she said, "You forget they've met Inuyasha."

The youkai gave that some consideration before he dropped the glamour to reveal silver strands, gold eyes and glorious markings. It always took her breath away when she saw it, the validation that it was _him_. Other times she barely noticed one look from the other as used to his constant shift between the two as he was. Her grandfather was the first to react and she knew that beginning of the reaction quite well.

"Demon! Be-"

"Gramps! He's a _friend_."

Her grandfather seemed to waver before seemingly sulking as he sat hunched over in his chair. A fond smile curled Kagome's lips at that before she looked at her other two family members. Souta as she had predicted had a look mixed between apprehension and awe while her mother just smiled softly. Mrs. Himiko Higurashi stepped forward and bowed to the demon as she said,

"It is an honor to finally meet you. My daughter has spoken very highly of you. Thank you for joining us during this holiday."

Sesshomaru glanced at Kagome and she recognized the teasing glint in his eyes as he said, "Has she now?"

She let out a low groan and hit him playfully over the arm as she laughed, "Oh shut up and sit down. You Inu's have a big head enough."

He chuckled softly but obeyed, deciding it was safer on his health to just do what she said. He'd antagonize her a little later.

(OoO)

Dinner had went over rather well after Sesshomaru had made it clear to the boy, Kagome called Souta, that no he was not a human hating demon. Most ningen simply annoyed him and he couldn't deal with how loud they were for long periods of time. Much to his amusement Souta had asked him how did he deal with Kagome then and he told the boy quite solemnly that he simply pretended to listen to her. Much to everyone's amusement Kagome had sent a little jolt of holy power through his arm making him wince and she got scolded by her mother.

Now he watched as everyone opened their gifts by the tree, he'd gotten the boy a fairly expensive gaming system that he knew went over well with all ningen boys his age. He'd gotten the grandfather an antique sword from his own collection of conquests and for the mother he'd gotten her a set of expensive kitchen appliances as well a book to write her recipes in. He felt satisfied with all their genuine happiness at his gifts and waited for the right opportunity to give Kagome hers. His thoughts shifted as Mrs. Higurashi approached him serenely and he looked at her. He was surprised by the very _Kagome_ smile that softly curled her lips. He'd noticed throughout the night that Kagome got much of her looks from her mother, or at least the smiles since certain things did not seem like the mother.

Much to his shock the woman bowed low to him and said softly, "Thank you."

Sesshomaru blinked, confused by the gratitude she showed him and softly he asked, "Why do you thank me? I have done little."

The woman lifted her head and smiled a small knowing smile that made him feel like a pup again. "You may not realize it but you have given me my daughter back. The woman she was before you came was desperate and on the edge of a ledge. You have brought her away from that ledge and given her _life_. _Her life_. I cannot thank you enough for that."

He shifted slightly and glanced away, his eyes landing on the girl who laughed happily and softened unthinkingly. "I only did what she has done for me."

He shifted uncomfortably as the woman's gaze lingered on him knowingly for a moment longer before she bowed again, "Of course. Please excuse me."

Sesshomaru watched as she turned to walk away but before she took more than two steps he asked, "May I borrow her?"

The woman turned slightly surprised before a smile tugged at her lips and she said, "A present?"

He smirked slightly and said, "Of sorts…"

The woman laughed lightly and it was purely Kagome. "Of course."

He bowed this time and murmured his thanks before slipping inside the living room. "Kagome…"

Blue eyes looked up and locked on gold as Kagome smiled brilliantly at him. He froze for a second before relaxing. "Meet me outside."

Without another word he turned and went outside, feeling two gazes lingering on his back.

(OoO)

Kagome could feel her stomach doing somersaults as she grabbed her coat, Sesshomaru's gift in her hands as she went to meet him outside. The ground was covered with snow and it fell gently from the sky as she stepped out her home. She loved how quiet and muffled everything was and her eyes easily caught sight of the taiyoukai as he looked up at the sky. She made her way over and gold flickered into light brown eyes as he glanced at her. She smiled a little hesitantly at him before offering out the scroll in her hands. An eyebrow raised in curiosity and he took it from her gently. When he unrolled it at first his eyebrows furrowed with confusion and he said,

"Kagome? I need no writings of my conquests."

The young woman rolled her eyes before pointing at one sentence that would reveal everything. She watched as he read and his features slowly shifted from confusion to shock and then softened. His eyes were purely gold now and she looked down as she scuffed the snow shyly.

"You told me that when the fortress fell you lost the scriptures of your father's conquests so….I searched to see if I could find any."

Gold eyes watched her intently before he reached out and took her head, making her start. He folded her hand in the crook of his elbow but watched her carefully as he did so. His eyes searching before he said, "I too have a gift for you…If you will come with me."

She blinked, curiosity getting the best of her she grinned and nodded her head. He looked at her a little longer before pulling her along gently and she followed him faithfully. At first she chattered happily about what she'd been doing the past week and he commented here and there but they fell into a content silence soon. It took them a bit before they stopped and by then Kagome had curled his mokomoko that she'd brought with them close to her body. They stood across from a house and Kagome looked curiously up at Sesshomaru before she started when he flared his youki impressively.

Kagome opened her mouth to question him on this when the door suddenly opened and a little girl ran out giggling happily with a rather plump woman following slightly behind her. The little miko blinked, confusion filling her as the scene continued to play out before a young man with ginger hair walked out, closing the door behind him. She watched as the family played together happily before looking at Sesshomaru surprised to see him watching her closely. He nodded his head towards them insistently and she looked back only to meet emerald eyes and everything in her froze. She knew those eyes, she'd know those eyes anywhere and suddenly her world tilted as a familiar boyish grin lit the man's features as he looked at her.

_Shippo_

A trembling hand raised to her mouth as the threat of tears became real as she watched the _kit_ she'd adopted who was now a man play with his family. Her adopted son was a _man_ now and he was _alive_. Unthinkingly she grabbed Sesshomaru's arm to steady herself and he gently placed a hand on the small of her back. They stayed like that for a while, silently glancing at each other across the street and sharing teary smiles. It was then Kagome realized who the woman was, Souten. When the little girl began to get drowsy Kagome knew it was time and she sniffed wetly as Shippo picked up his daughter with as much loving gentleness as a father could. He looked at her from the door of his home and what he mouthed nearly sent her into a sobbing mess. Instead she steeled herself and said quietly,

"Thank you…I love you."

If she didn't know better she would have thought her adopted son's eyes misted a little before he turned and went inside. Sesshomaru gently turned her away and they walked in silence as she tried to collect herself. When she was sure she could speak without breaking down they were at the stairs of her family's shrine. She looked up at Sesshomaru and gave him a grateful smile as she said, "Thank you…You didn't have to though. I understand that meeting them, talking with them could mean messing with the timeline."

Sesshomaru gave her a thoughtful look before saying slowly, thoughtfully, "I wished to though. You ask for very little and I know it plagued you….It is the least I could do since…."

_Since you helped me be able to speak of Rin._

She knew those were his unspoken words and something in her warmed considerably towards the taiyoukai who tried to appear so aloof and strong. He suddenly looked hesitant before he said, "I have one more…_present_ I wish to give you."

Kagome gave him a curious look before she said slowly, "You don't have to Sesshomaru. That one was more than enough."

He huffed slightly and said, "However, it would please me to and this Sesshomaru always does-"

"-As he pleases. Yes I'm well aware."

She laughed slightly as she spoke before nodded her head, "Fine, one more shouldn't hurt."

He nodded in what seemed to be satisfaction before he said, "Close your eyes."

The petite woman gave him a perplexed look before doing as she was told. She heard him shift before walking around her and the feel of a light weight falling around her neck alerted her to him putting something on her. Kagome had never been more aware of someone than she was at that moment with Sesshomaru behind her. Every nerve in her body hummed with his quiet but powerful presence just behind her until suddenly it was gone. She opened her eyes and noticed he was by his car and she gave him a curious look before her eyes fell to what was around her neck. The necklace's chain was a fragile looking white gold, the pendant was teardrop shaped with diamonds and in the middle of the set was a sparkling pink pearl that looked nearly identical to the Shikon no Tama. Her eyes filled with tears and she looked up to meet gold eyes.

The taiyoukai mouthed something before entering his car and as he drove away Kagome never thought her heart could ever feel as full as it did now.

(OoO)

Later that night as Kagome settled down for bed her mind played back the images of the two certain demon's she never thought she'd see again. She knew this Christmas would be one she would never forget as their mouthed words ran through her mind.

_This is for you, mama. I love you._

_Thank you, Kagome. Sweat dreams._

_TBC…_

**A/N:** That is the end of year one and I gave you a fluffy little chapter in celebration of it lol. Hope you all like it as much as I enjoyed writing it. XD I am now totally late for work so you all have fun!


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:** So I decided just today that I'm going to make this a two part series. I'm going to end this on the note that she leaves Sesshomaru. **HOWEVER**, for those of you who want the happy ending the second part _'To the Promise of Meeting Once more…'_ will be dedicated to Kagome and Sesshomaru's happily ever after. That way those of you who prefer the way the manga was where she returns to Inuyasha will still have that and those who want Kagome to go back to Sesshomaru will have _their_ happy ending lol Hope you guys will look forward to it and continue to enjoy this story.

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*8*_

Kagome looked down at the invitation in her hand and her stomach twisted dangerously. Was Sesshomaru crazy? Why did he think inviting her to one of these fancy balls or whatever they wanted to call them was a good idea? Deciding it was a good idea to ask him personally she picked up her cell –courtesy of her mother- and dialed Sesshomaru's office. Unsurprised when Misa was the one to pick up the phone instead of Sesshomaru. "Hey, it's Kagome. Is Hisato-san there?"

There was a slight pause as Misa got over her shock that Kagome was actually calling. "Anoo…yes. Yes he is in. Do you want me to transfer you over?"

Kagome shook her head even if the woman couldn't see and said, "No just let me know if he leaves for the day since I have classes before I can head over. Don't tell him I'm asking though."

Misa's voice sounded hesitant as she said, "Okay…. Is everything okay, Higurashi-san?"

Kagome snorted rudely before she said, "Other than your boss is a crazy jerk? No. Ja matta, Misa-san."

"Aa…have a good day."

After she hung up with the woman, Kagome looked back down at the pretty invitation and scowled at it before starting. "Kagome! You need to head to school before it's too late."

"Hai!"

Giving the invitation one last dark look she grabbed her knapsack and rushed out the house towards her school.

(OoO)

"I mean how insane is that? Let's be serious now how was _I _supposed to know that-"

"Oh kami-sama! Shut up, Kagome-chan." Ami laughed as she rolled her eyes while Kagome pouted. "We both know you enjoy bickering with _anyone_ you're close to. You can't fool me."

Kagome tried to look offended for a moment before laughing as she threw up her hands in an 'I surrender' way. "Okay so I _might_ enjoy it a little but let's be for real. I can't be expected to know _every_ detail of an artifact. The guy acted like I was supposed to be this genius or something."

She opened her mouth to continue when her phone went off. She started slightly, still unused to having it even after a month before looking at it and seeing Sesshomaru's office number on it. "Oh! Give me a minute, Ami-chan."

The girl hummed softly in acknowledgement before turning to wave at Toya who she spotted not far away as Kagome picked up her phone. "Misa-san?"

"Ah! Higurashi-san! Hisato-san has just retired for the day and is heading back to his home."

"Thank you, MIsa-san! You've been a big help!"

"Iie. Daijobu, don't be too hard on Hisato-san now."

Kagome laughed slightly before she said, "I can't make any promises but I'll try. See you soon, Misa-san."

Misa laughed lightly before bidding Kagome goodbye and then hanging up. Looking up from her phone she gave Ami an apologetic look and said, "I'm sorry but you two go on without me. I have some unfinished business to deal with."

Ami chuckled and said, "With one, Hisato-san no doubt."

Kagome blushed before glaring at her friend. Ever since that day her friend had been hinting heavily at something that just wasn't there…At least Kagome didn't think there was anything there. Sure Sesshomaru was handsome and she liked being around him but….she loved Inuyasha.

As Kagome walked away from her friends she was a little surprised by how little…emotion was stirred by the thought of the white haired hanyo. Before it had been just the mere mention on him had made her unsettled and panicky but now she was almost like she used to be before he finally let go of Kikyo. Kagome dropped her stuff off at her locker and picked up an overnight bag she always kept there in case she decided to stay over at Sesshomaru's place. She blinked in surprise at the butterflies that immediately fluttered to life in her stomach at the thought and frowned, perturbed.

She scowled lightly at the feeling before brushing it off. She was just happy to see a familiar face that was all. Satisfied with that realization she continued her way to Sesshomaru's with a grin curling her lips. She hadn't visited the taiyoukai in a while, seeing as she'd been busy with exams and the new exhibit at the museum. The little miko found herself excited to see her one time ally and reluctant friend. Humming softly, she approached the fancy apartment building that housed his pent house at the top floor. She glanced up when a familiar voice greeted her and smiled at the bell hop, Tohru.

"Hello! Did you have a good holiday?"

Tohru laughed and coming from the older man it was filled with fatherly warmth. "Yes. My daughter's smile was the best present I could receive."

Kagome smiled softly, knowing his youngest had been very sick for the last few months and it'd been weighing heavily on him.

"I'm glad for that then." His smiled brightened a bit more at her words before he said, "Going to visit the lord then?"

Tohru had no idea that their light teasing about Sesshomaru was real and she had no desire to reveal that. With a little laugh and a wave she called as she hurried by, "Yeah, I need to chew him out a little!"

The man chuckled as he watched her go before wondering if he should have told her about Sesshomaru's visitor.

Kagome waited impatiently as the elevator took its sweet time getting her to Sesshomaru's floor. Not long after the incident –as they'd come to dubbing it- he'd given her keys so she could come and go as she pleased without bothering Tohru. Shaking her head she brought out the invitation and stared at it, curiously. Why would Sesshomaru want _her_ of all people to go with him to this ting anyway?

Her eyes flickered up when the elevator finally stopped and she walked through the short hall to his door. She was about to take out her key when she heard the distinct sound of voices. Frowning slightly and wondering if it was someone important she decided to knock for once instead of just barging in like she usually would. Kagome froze when the door opened to reveal a beautiful demonness…wearing one of Sesshomaru's shirts and shorts. Shock filled her senses as the youkai looked her over slowly before a voice made her eyes look over the demonness' shoulder. "Kagome?"

Blue met gold for a moment before Kagome took in that he was half naked and drying his hair. A jolt of pain went through her violently before unthinkingly she fled.

(OoO)

Sesshomaru watched as something flickered in blue eyes just before her scent soured dramatically. Without warning, she was suddenly gone and it was just the two of them once more. "Was that the Miko, Ito has been talking about?"

Gold eyes met violet and Sesshomaru frowned as the demonness reached down to the floor so she could grab something.

"Your husband is worse than a female."

The spider youkai snorted, flicking a strand of her long silky black hair behind her as she looked up. She offered something to him as she closed the door.

At least it gives him a little insight into how we think. You on the other hand…"

Sesshomaru frowned as he took the fancy folded card from her and instantly recognized it. The invitation. "Why did she run? Certainly she had something to speak about."

The woman studied him for a moment before she said flatly, "You truly do not know?"

He blinked slowly and he remembered the look that flickered in the young woman's eyes for a split second. He recognized the sourness of her scent as hurt but he couldn't understand why. As though knowing this the demonness sighed and gathered her clothes.

"_Men_. Your species could not possibly hope to understand us, you especially. Let alone one as young as she."

Without another word she left leaving the taiyoukai alone with his annoyed thoughts. _Females_, he decided, were trouble.

(OoO)

Kagome sat with her knees curled up to her chest on a bench. Her eyes unseeingly watching the little Halfling girl play in the yard with her pregnant mother. She didn't notice Souten's worried gaze or the approaching youki from behind her.

"Someone might think you're a stalker, Mama."

She blinked slowly as her heart trembled at the sound of his voice. It still carried a boyish hint but was somewhat deeper than it used to be. She looked up at the kitsune and he gave her a warm loving smile.

"I don't think you're supposed to be here again."

Kagome gave him a wan smile as she said in return, "I don't think you're supposed to be talking to me."

His smile grew into a grin as he shrugged his shoulders and she saw the mischievous kitsune she knew as her adopted son in it. "He's not Lord of the West anymore."

He hesitated, glancing at his wife/mate and child before he said, "Souten was worried about you. She said you smelled sick and she'd usually better at sensing those things than I am."

There was a hint of pain in his voice before what he said registered. The petite young woman blinked before something dawned on her and she buried her face in her lap. She was sick, _love sick_. How could this have happened? She felt Shippo slide onto the bench next to her and she leaned into his warmth, relishing in having her Shippo again. "I thought I loved Inuyasha."

Her little kitsune –well he wasn't little anymore but he'd always be her little Shippo- was quiet for a moment as he chose his words before he said carefully, "You do. Your heart is so big though that it lets you love more than one person. Just in different ways."

Kagome blinked, a case of déjà vu hitting her and she looked at Shippo curiously. Sensing the words at the tip of her tongue he gave her a sheepish grin. "You told me that once."

The young woman chuckled lightly before sobering a little. "This is really different though…these feelings."

Shippo watched her for a moment before he said vaguely, "he was blind not to see it."

Kagome frowned, thinking the kitsune was talking about Inuyasha. "You know he was always chasing after Kikyo."

Shippo looked like he would say something before his eyes flickered over her shoulder. A small smile quirked up a little as he said, "Well you have _him_ rather well trained."

A low growl answered her unasked question as to who he was talking about. She turned in shock before mortification and embarrassment made her look away. The vague wonder of how long he'd been there passing through her thoughts. That was answered when she heard him sigh heavily and say, "Kit…we agreed."

"That _I_ wouldn't approach her but she came here. So I'm totally within the agreement."

The taiyoukai huffed in mild annoyance but the laughter in his eyes told a different story. Kagome watched their easy interaction and wondered about it curiously. Momentarily forgetting her embarrassment she said, "I never thought you two would get along so well."

Both froze before Shippo said vaguely, "Circumstances happened that made me seek him out."

Kagome frowned and wondered what it was exactly that caused it to happen. "Kagome…"

The little miko glanced at the taiyoukai from the corner of her eyes. He held out a piece of paper and she recognized it as the invitation. She blushed slightly in remembrance at what caused her to seek out Shippo in the first place. "I believe there was something you wished to discuss with me?"

Kagome wavered before a spark of annoyance lit as she remembered why she even _gone_ to see him. "Oh yeah! You! Are you crazy?!"

He blinked slowly imperiously lifting an eyebrow just to annoy her more. "This Sesshomaru must be if he continued to deal with females."

She pouted, annoyed that he'd had a witty comment at the ready before Shippo stood up. He grinned as he said, "I should go and reassure Souten that everything is fine now."

A wan smile curled Kagome's lips and shyly, Shippo gave her a peck on the cheek. "I'll see you around, Mama."

Her eyes misted a little and she saw he same wetness in his green eyes so she just nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak. Both she and Sesshomaru watched as Shippo crossed the street and joined his family in their front yard. They watched for a bit before Sesshomaru turned and began to walk away.

"Come, Kagome."

She shot him an annoyed look but obediently followed nonetheless.

(OoO)

"SO there! I know nothing about these things?! How could you have even thought it was a good idea to invite me as your plus one?!"

"You wish to be a curator or archeologist, yes?"

The young woman frowned, unsure of where he was going with this. "Yes, of course."

"Then it is better for you to get started now. You will need to attend galas in order to get donors for a museum or sponsors for archeological digs."

She opened her mouth to protest before realizing he was right. Her mouth shut with an audible click as annoyance flickered to like more strongly. "OH fine! Whatever!"

He smirked at the win before it slid from his face slowly. "You were upset earlier."

Just as slowly her scent shifted from spicy irritation to sour unhappiness. She glanced away from him and became quiet. It was strange how much it bothered him that she wouldn't meet his gaze when not moments before she was okay. Sighing softly he said carefully, searchingly, "Nala, Ito's wife, says I am blind for not knowing why you are upset. She left moments after you did quite annoyed. Without telling me why."

He watched Kagome's shocked face and the sour note in her scent of dawn and lilies shifted slightly. "That woman was Ito's wife?"

Sesshomaru cocked his head to the side in a very inu manner and said, "Yes. She was discussing some details about the gala with me. 

"But I thought…" She trailed off uncertainly before saying hurriedly, "But then why were you two under dressed?!"

He blinked before –thinking it was because of her chastity finding it improper- replying, "WE had wine spilled on us when we were out at lunch. It is not so strange for youkai to be slightly undressed in front of one another…you should know this."

Kagome felt her face heat up with embarrassment, she should have. She couldn't believe she'd jumped to conclusions. Laughing lightly, Kagome shook her head and said, "Perhaps we were both blind then."

Sesshomaru's lips quirked up for a second as he said, "Perhaps…"

Deciding –as her scent cleared the sourness away- that it was best to move back to the topic of the gala he said, "As for the invitation, it is still three months away anyway. It is unnecessary for you to start worrying about it now. When the time comes you will see that everything is thought of already. I merely wished only to inform you ahead of time."

Kagome rolled her eyes in exasperation before Sesshomaru gave her a thoughtful look. "Perhaps it will be best for you to be around when I get news of the gala. That way you may learn of certain details and people ahead of time."

Kagome thought about it considering everything before smiling. "I can agree to that. I'm almost done with classes anyway."

"Hn"

Her eyes rolled once more before falling on her overnight back and blushing lightly. Her eyes flickered to the taiyoukai and suddenly she was far too aware of the male. Clearing her throat and stretching she said with false cheer. "_Well_ now that that's done. I guess I should go home."

Gold eyes zeroed in on her and an eyebrow quirked up as he glanced at her bag as well. "You are not staying?"

She shrugged her shoulders, avoiding eye contact as she said, "No, no. I think I should go home tonight."

He frowned as he said, "You are still upset…"

She looked at him in surprise before shaking her head fiercely, "No! Not in the least bit, Sesshomaru."

"Then stay."

Her heart trembled, slightly surprised by the softness in his voice as he said those simple words. She searched his eyes for a moment and the butterflies in her stomach calmed. Smiling a little shyly she said, "Okay…Okay, I'll stay."

(OoO)

"_Sessho_." She whined plaintively and the taiyoukai growled out, "Call me that again and your life is forfeit miko."

She laughed lightly as she said, "Oh we both know you like me too much to do that _Sessho_."

"Hn" She never noticed how he froze for a split second or how his body tensed slightly as she peeked over his shoulder to the food he was cooking. "How much longer?"

"Continue pestering me and I will make it inedible to you."

Kagome snorted before teasing lightly, "It usually _is_ inedible to me. To think such a stoic youkai likes _sweet_ things."

"hn"

"Oh don't you start that!"

"Hn?"

"_Sessho_…"

"_Miko…_"

"There we go! Maybe Shippo was right and I do have you tr– Eep!" She let out a little squeal when suddenly nimble, slender clawed fingers found her sides and began to tickle her. Peals of laughter and pleas filled the air as she collapsed to the ground with him following and she tried to squirm away from his fingers.

"Uncle! Uncle! I'm _sorry_! You win!" Tears fell from the corners of her eyes and her stomach began to ache with her laughter as she bucked and shimmed trying to free herself from where he trapped her between his legs. She was gasping for air when he finally decided to show mercy and pull his fingers away. She drank in the air greedily as her fingers fisted her shirt where she'd tried to push him away with no success. Teary blue eyes looked up into laughing gold eyes and Kagome found a grin curling her lips as something seemed to settle inside her. Something _right_, something that felt like this is where she _belonged_. Warmth filled her as they continued to just look at each other and a gentler smile curled her lips before shyness settled in and she pushed lightly at his shoulders. "Alright, up. Let me up before the food burns."

This seemed to wake him from whatever trance he'd been in because he blinked before smoothly and gracefully standing again. He smirked down at her as he said lightly, "Do not forget that this Sesshomaru is the superior being."

Kagome snorted as she got up from the floor and mumbled, "We'll see how superior you are when you have a volt of reiki going through you."

However, she wisely sat _far_ away from him this time as she began to pester him much to his amusement.

_TBC…_

**A/N:** I _had_ to put that little fluffy moment in there. Couldn't resist giving them a little sweet ending lol Next chapter Kagome _officially_ meets Nala and the search of a dress ensues! Hope you guys are enjoying these chapters and thank you everyone who's been reviewing! Love you all who's been following TGWAS all these days!


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*9*_

"_Kagome-hahaue has been sad lately." Gold eyes slid towards the girl who idly played with some flowers as they sat in a meadow. "Hn"_

_The fifteen year old girl's lips quirked up at the seemingly uninterested sound and knew it for what it was. That was why she was Lord Sesshomaru's only ward. She glanced at the taiyoukai from the corner of her eyes and saw him staring towards Inuyasha's hut where Kagome now was. Giving her Lord a knowing look she continued on,_

"_Shippo-kun, says she misses someone from back home. He said sometimes when Inuyasha is away she holds a sparkling jewel and cries."_

_She stopped thoughtfully as though wondering if she should say her next words before saying, "He said that when he asked about the person she only said that she loved him in a way that was very different than her love for Inuyasha."_

_Suddenly, Kagome stepped from her hut and they must have caught her eyes because she turned. For once she did not avoid his eyes or pretend he was not in the vicinity but her reaction startled both him and Rin. Her eyes lit up for a moment before her expression crumpled and she quickly looked away but he smelled the way her scent curdled and soured around her. He recognized those scents as grief and hurt much to his curiosity. Unbeknownst his ward was watching him closely as well and she said softly, _

"_Maybe you can speak with Kagome-hahaue as well? Maybe…you can help her with her sadness?"_

_The lord looked back to study his ward for a moment, taking in her sent of plum blossoms and orange curls before facing the underlying too sweet scent of illness. For his ward who did not know she was becoming ill…he supposed he could talk with Inuyasha's miko even if it would be the end of him. _

"_Hn"_

_A smile lit the girl's face and she said lovingly, "Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama!"_

(OoO)

Kagome watched as her mother moved around the kitchen slowly from the doorway. A small smile lit the woman's face as she did everything and she hummed softly. For a moment, just for a moment, Kagome could pretend that she'd never gone down the well when she was fifteen and that it was a regular weekend. However, silver hair flashed through her mind and the pretending was over. She stepped over the invisible barrier in a metaphorical way and sat at the table, gaining her mother's attention. Mrs. HIgurashi opened her mouth before seeing her daughter's pensive expression. Amusement colored her features for a split second before she slowly sat down across from her daughter and said lovingly, "What is it?"

The little miko glanced at the woman in front of her and knew this was going to be a touchy subject with her mother. Taking a deep breath she asked haltingly, "Mama…what was it like when you first met…papa?"

She watched surprise and pain flash across the woman's face before it slowly melted into the most loving smile she'd ever seen on her face since papa had passed. Dark eyes flickered up to meet Kagome's and it became somewhat amused as she said, "In truth I was with my high school sweetheart when I met your father."

Kagome's eyes widened with shock and she sat back in her chair. Her mother laughed lightly before that sad loving smile curled her lips. "He'd been sitting alone, reading a book when I approached him seeing as he was the assistant librarian. I needed help finding something. He was so…_standoffish_."

She chuckled lightly and said, "Not quite cold but just…distant…maybe _shy_?"

She thought about it and a grin curled her lips, "_No_ definitely not shy. He never had any problem telling people what he thought."

She gave her daughter an amused look as she said, "Much like you but he wasn't very open about his feelings at the same time."

He made me curious and so I continued talking to him and hanging around him….honestly before I even realized it I had fallen in love with him."

Mrs. Higurashi winced a little, "It was hard for me…I loved Rai, my sweetheart, very much. But…somehow my heart had found a way to let me love Kazuya in a way that was completely different from Rai."

Himiko stopped thoughtfully before she continued, "With Rai I was happy and I'd attained what I'd always wanted during my high school years but with Kazuya….He made me _feel_ things. It felt right. Like a piece had fallen into place. I _knew_ he was my soul mate without really _knowing_."

Kagome was astonished by how _similar_ it was to her own predicament and she asked tentatively, "How did you choose papa?"

A pain smile lit the other woman's features and she said, "I didn't. At least not really. Kazu chose for me when he found out how I felt. He _left_. For two years he was gone and that's what it took for me to realize that as much as I loved Rai I _belonged_ with Kazuya."

Kagome tried to imagine what it would be like if Sesshomaru left but while there was a small twinge she couldn't really fathom him _leaving_. However, the thought of continuing to not be near Inuyasha made the gaping chasm in her soul open up again. She brushed the feeling aside and asked, "Then how did you end up with papa?"

A small smile lit the woman's features as she said, "Hitsuzen. Two years after he left, I was looking for work with a friend and I ran into him. At first I was so upset I wouldn't listen to a word he said."

She laughed lightly, shaking her head as though at the silliness of it.. "But then he called my name…My given name and it felt so _right _coming from him after all those years that I just burst out crying."

There was a slight pause before she said, "He apologized…fervently. He said he got scared. He who hated to talk about his feelings _admitted_ he got scared. After, it was a slow process but we fell back into our old ways and by then I had grown so distant from Rai that he'd gently decided we should simply remain friends. So two more years later it was a surprise to know Rai had helped Kazuya pick out a ring and propose. When I asked Rai said he'd prefer to see me happy with someone else than lose me totally."

She seemed to get lost in the memories for a moment before she said, "It was bittersweet but he knew that even if I loved Kazuya there would always be a part of me that belonged to him in the end."

A small identical smile lit both woman's faces as they looked down at the table before Kagome said, "I kind of think I understand how our hearts work now."

The older woman chuckled as she said, "Indeed. Kazu used to say my heart was so big that I could probably love a whole country. After he said it for that whole week he pampered me just because the thought worried him."

They laughed at that before Himiko Higurashi reached over and gently placed her hand over her daughter's. "You see Kagome, our heart knows who it loves but our soul already knows who _belongs_. Sometimes we are graced with meeting that person and other times we never meet that person. It's okay to love more than one person so long as we don't try to _keep_ them all."

She sighed lightly and continued, "One day you have to choose or else the choice will be made for you and sometimes when it's made for you it does not turn out as nicely as it did for me."

Kagome knew the warning as what it was. One day she would have to choose between going back to the past with Inuyasha and staying in the future with Sesshomaru…even if he didn't know how she felt or return it."

The thought was daunting and she vaguely wondered when the time came…would she be able to?

(OoO)

_His ear twitched slightly as he heard the soft sobs and rushing feet of someone coming his way. As though sensing the shift in his attention Rin looked up from where she studied the surrounding herbs and looked at her Lord. _

"_Sesshomaru-sama?"_

_Gold eyes glanced at the girl and took in how skinny she was becoming and a twinge of worry filtered in before the scent of kitsune, Shippo, pushed that aside. He stood up in one fluid motion and faced the direction the kit was coming from just as the boy tumbled through the foliage. Two tails dragged behind him and he was now as tall as Rin had been when she was ten but that didn't fully register with the taiyoukai. It was the utter grief and pain that radiated from the Kitsune's aura as well as scent. It nearly knocked the taiyoukai away, especially when the kit looked up and his usually emerald eyes were tinted pink around the edges. A low soulful whine escaped the kit before in the face of Sesshomaru the pink faded and the boy sobbed terribly. Both Lord and ward stared stunned for a moment before Rin scrambled over and petted Shippo's hair as sobs ripped through his small body violently. _

"_Shippo-kun? Shippo-kun?! What is wrong? What has happened?!"_

_A deep gnawing built up deep within the youkai lord as he continued to keep eye contact with the little kitsune. Rin looked up at her lord at her wits end as she tried to comfort the kitsune and find out what was wrong. "My Lord?"_

_Her voice was slightly shrill and belatedly he realized the stress what not healthy for her. Glancing away from the kit he looked at her and said lowly, "Step away, Rin."_

_She hesitated before obeying and standing by a tree not far. Once satisfied with her distance he looked back to the kit and allowed his youki to bear down on the kit. The shock and command within the blast stilled the kit enough for the sobbing to ease before stopping completely. Shippo swayed for a moment before Rin came back and supported the kit on his side._

"_Hn…"_

_Rin shot her lord an annoyed look –she was spending far too much time with Higurashi- before gently saying, "What is it Shippo-kun?"_

_For a moment he said nothing, looking unseeingly past them before he said flatly. "Mama is dead."_

_Both youkai lord and ningen ward froze at those three simple words and finally his mind filtered what had been bugging him for the past few moments. Blood. There was blood in the air._

(OoO)

Sesshomaru looked out into the protected stretch of forest that no one was allowed to enter. Memories flashing through his mind rapidly as the meaning of that day hit him. He vaguely felt the youki of another approaching slowly but didn't bother to move. He knew who it was and he didn't want to ruin this suddenly bittersweet moment.

"Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama."

Eyelids closed over gold irises for a second before sliding to the side and meeting emerald eyes. "Hn."

A sad smile pulled at the kit's lips before he too looked into the forest then down at the grave by their feet. Rin's grave. "It would have been nice if she too could have seen mama one last time."

The kit's voice wavered slightly and Sesshomaru felt something in him do the same. "It is…strange. To mourn the miko's death day when she is here."

Shippo winced, a small whine escaping before he said softly, "Not really…she's not really here."

The lord knew exactly what the kit meant and his eyes closed. "Inuyasha said she looked determined when it happened…do you think she knew?"

Gold eyes opened and he looked down at the grave. "Yes…as all natural miko's know the moment their reiki is exhausted completely they'll die."

Shippo sniffed lightly and asked meekly, "Do you think we could warn her?"

Sesshomaru glanced sharply at the kit and he wilted. "I know…I just wish…."

Sesshomaru softened slightly and he said, "She belongs with my brother. She must go back. Nothing can change."

They were quiet for a while before Shippo spoke once more, "You know….Inuyasha was different after. I asked him about it and he said that before she died they had talked and he finally understood everything."

They stood in their companionable silence for a while before Shippo turned and began to walk away. He paused before leaving earshot and said, "Souten said if it's a girl she wants to name her Rin…."

A small almost unnoticeable smile pulled at the lord's lips and he said softly, "She would like that…and I would be honored."

With that Shippo was gone and Sesshomaru was left once more to his thoughts.

_TBC…._

**A/N:** This was _supposed_ to be the chapter where Nala and Kagome meet but somehow it turned into this lol. There's a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter but I left certain things vague for your interpretation. Poor Shippo loves his mama so much 3. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Look forward to another chapter sometime today!


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*10*_

She was pouting.

Sulking really but he had a feeling she'd carry out her threat of purifying him if he pointed that out. So he decided, _wisely_, to call it pouting. Not that she appreciated it anymore because she knew what he was _really_ thinking. Sighing lightly because really he asked for it when he agreed to keep her around -he told himself for what felt like the umpteenth time- and he gave her a deadpan look as he said, "You're not being very reasonable, Higurashi."

She sniffed in an all too snobbish way and a part of him_ might_ have been _slightly_ impressed, before she replied.

"I never said I was going to be reasonable._ Infact_ I don't remember this being part of the deal at all."

Sesshomaru looked at Nala who had been sitting back watching their interaction with no small amount of amusement. When their eyes met she arched a brow and said wickedly, "Oh do please continue arguing with the miko. Don't stop on my behalf."

He let out a low growl, silently cursing the female species.

"Higurashi, how do you expect to attain a dress for the gala?" Kagome frowned before she replied. "I'll figure it out."

Nala chuckled as Sesshomaru let out an irritated sigh before deciding to be merciful. Gently, she asked "Your family owns a shrine yes?"

Kagome's eye flickered to the demonness that she only just met. "Yes..."

The woman smiled demurely and asked again, "It runs on donations mostly correct?"

Sesshomaru watched as Kagome slowly deflated as realization began to dawn. "Yes."

Apologetically if not a little softly Nala asked, "Would you also burden your mother with worrying about something as material as a dress? You realize how expensive black tie event dresses are, yes?"

Kagome got slightly defensive on the last part and said, "of course I do! I wouldn't let mama pay a cent."

The demonness gave the woman a slightly amused look and said, "If mothers are the same from when I was hatched I should like to ask if that will matter?"

Kagome hesitated before deflating completely. "No..."

Sensing the girl just needed one final push she said, "Then let Sesshomaru do this one thing for you."

Blue locked on gold and Sesshomaru saw an unreadable expression in her gaze before she gave in, looking away.

"Alright..."

Sesshomaru relaxed with an inaudible relieved sigh. With that Nala twirled with a wicked smile and held out her hand, "Now hand over the card big boy."

The inu youkai frowned and he muttered "You just convinced her so you can do shopping of your own."

Nala laughed before she said, "Well of course. Ito's hidden all of his credit and debit cards on me."

Sesshomaru snorted as he said, "With good reason."

Sighing almost forlornly he handed over the plastic card to the woman and looked at Kagome.

"Don't let her bully you or coerce you into buying anything you don't want...and get whatever you want. There's no limit on that card." Kagome blinked before blushing lightly and he smelled the warmth and sweetness of her scent. Pleasure and embarrassment but mostly just contentment and that eased him. Softly she muttered, "You're going to regret saying that."

Sesshomaru snorted rudely as he said, "Of that I have no doubt, Higurashi."

(OoO)

Without Sesshomaru around to act as a filter Kagome felt thoroughly embarrassed as she remembered the last time they met and how she'd acted. On top of it if what Sesshomaru said was true the woman already suspected what was going on. She was brought out of her thoughts when the woman started giggling from the driver's seat of the car and her face flamed up when the woman glanced at her only to laugh harder. Indignation and embarrassment made her temper swell for a moment before the woman put out her hand for a second while wiping the tears from her eyes.

"No, no! Wait! It's not you I'm laughing at I swear. I just never seen him actually argue with someone since Rin. Let _alone_ someone as tiny as you are." Kagome blinked before her own lips began to twitch with the threat of laughter as she imagined what they must have look liked before. Chuckling she said, "I know what you mean. Honestly, if someone told me five hundred years ago that I'd be bickering with the Lord of the West and live to tell about it, I'd have them put away."

Nala chuckled a little more before taking a deep breath. "Ito and I have been with Sesshomaru since he was a pup, he wasn't always so serious but it was always smarter to avoid irritating him. It's nice to know he's relaxed a little and isn't so stuffy."

Kagome blinked and looked at the woman before blushing lightly at the woman's knowing gaze.

"Indeed I'm quite old. We full-fledged youkai don't tend to age the way humans or even hanyo do."

Kagome nodded her head as she took Sesshomaru into account, while he looked older slightly he could still be taken for being in his late teens, early twenties. Clearing her throat Kagome said softly, "I'm sorry…for before."

Nala studied her from the corner of her eyes for a second before an understanding smile tilted her lips. "It's okay. If I'd been in your position and it'd been Ito my thoughts would have been in the same place."

She snorted a soft laugh as she said, "Although I think I'd have killed them both before asking questions."

Kagome giggled lightly and instantly felt herself relax. Sensing this Nala looked at the girl beside her and grinned conspiratorially, "So how about we do what we women are good at and shop like crazy?"

A full laugh escaped Kagome and she grinned just as wickedly, "He _did_ say there wasn't a limit."

Nala cackled in mock evil before she said, "Atta girl! I knew I'd like you!"

(OoO)

By the time the girls were done and they'd returned to Sesshomaru's pent house Nala's car was filled to the brim with clothes and shoes. The demonness helped Kagome bring all her bagswith Tohru's help as well, both of them already slipping into easy conversation as they reminisced together.

"It was really cute honestly. He was so small yet he followed Kimiko-sama around like a little duckling while trying to seem all aloof."

Kagome squealed at the description before laughing as they entered the penthouse, setting the bags down on the floor by the door.

"I don't believe you there's no _way_ Sesshomaru could possibly look as adorable as you describe."

"This Sesshomaru can guarantee he didn't."

Blue eyes locked on gold and Kagome grinned as she ran up to Sesshomaru and grabbed his sleeve, not paying attention to the surprised lift of his eyebrows at the intimate closeness. "Is it true, Sessho? Did you really used to follow your mother around?"

The taiyoukai scowled at both the nickname and the reminder of his childhood antics before he looked at Nala who grinned wickedly. Wagging her finger at him she said teasingly, "Remember you never lie."

His eyes rolled up to the ceiling before huffing as he looked back down at the waiting miko. Letting out a soft growl as he said, "Yes…I did…for a time…a very short time."

Kagome laughed as she let out a short 'awe' that Sesshomaru was sure had doomed him. However, his eyes caught sight of all the bags and he arched his eyebrow.

"Did you two actually look for a dress?"

Nala and Kagome looked at each other from across the room before looking at him innocently as they said in unison, "Yes?"

"You said for me to get whatever I want though, Sessho."

"And you know I was already going to get whatever I want. Besides we still have two months before we really have to worry about the dress…we'll just look again."

"Everyday."

"With your card."

Sesshomaru could feel a light throbbing starting just behind his eyes and decided he really hadn't understood just how much of a bad idea it'd been. Glaring at Nala he growled, "You. Go home. You're mate wants you back so that you two may gossip."

Nala turned up her nose at him as she said, "You're kicking me out after making your miko smell all nice with her happiness?"

Something inside him flinched at the term 'your miko' and he growled threateningly. Sensing she'd stepped on some toes she huffed dramatically and hissed out, "Oh alright. Fine you big bully."

Pulling a surprised miko into a hug she gave her a little squeeze before pulling away slightly. "Don't let him bully you and you have my number now so if anything call me. I'll set the old dog straight."

Kagome chuckled before nodding her head and watching the door close behind the spider youkai. Tentatively, she looked at Sesshomaru's closed off expression and felt slightly nervous. Seeing the younger Sesshomaru in it more than the Sesshomaru she'd come to know during her time here.

"Sesshomaru-sama…? I'm sorry…"

He blinked and looked at her, scenting the saltiness of her worry and hating it compared to the airiness of her happiness earlier. He also didn't like the way '-sama' sounded when she said his name and sighed softly. Shaking his head as he brushed off the coldness that had entered him for a moment he said, "No, it is fine. Nala has simply always liked to rile me up. It is her favorite past time unfortunately."

Put at ease she relaxed a little and the saltiness to her sent dispersed as a fond look took over her features. "She's very….sassy."

Sesshomaru snorted as he muttered, "That is putting it quite mildly, HIgurashi."

Kagome laughed and looked at the inu, her head cocking to the side a bit and a wicked grin curling her lips. "Oh? I'd like to think she and I are on the same level."

His lips quirked up at that but the smile didn't quite make it on his face as he said, "No, I think not."

A slow smirk that made his blood run cold at something completely foreign in the look turned Kagome's lips. "Maybe you want to tell me then?"

Sesshomaru blinked, his mind trying to figure out just how the conversation became this and why it felt as though Kagome was…_flirting_ with him. He quickly brushed off that idea, she loved Inuyasha she wouldn't even think of it. Snorting softly, he said as he glanced away.

"You, HIgurashi, are stubborn-"

"So you've said."

He threw her an irritated look but she merely continued to smirk and he looked away again. "Infuriatingly annoying, hard to get rid of, far too playful, cheerful, strong, and-"

_Beautiful_

The thought made him blink and he realized he'd stopped naming her faults that were never really faults. Shying away from this thought process he stood up quickly, grabbing a light jacket as he took long strides to the door while he said, "I will be back. I have nothing to cook dinner with."

With that he was gone, the door closing behind him.

(OoO)

Kagome looked wistfully after the taiyoukai and whispered softly, "Liar…"

She sighed lightly and collapsed on the sofa wondering if Nala and her plan had just backfired. A part of her, the part that was still uncertain as to what she wanted warned her against what she'd just done but the other part that felt strange around Sesshomaru was curious. She remembered Nala's words in that moment.

_Violet eyes gazed at the miko in the large fitting room contemplating something before Nala said, "You know…you're probably the first person to be as close to his highness since Rin and that ningen woman."_

_Kagome blinked and looked at Nala. "What ningen woman?"_

_She gave the priestess a perturbed look and said, "Then you didn't know who she was either? Odd."_

_The demonness looked thoughtful for a moment before she said, "No one knew who it was but it was quite the talk in the castle for a while. Sesshomaru had fallen for a human woman. He visited her often along with Rin-hime but from his scent he never courted her. One day from what rumors said she died and he mourned her greatly. He closed himself off to a lot of people and when Rin died…well Shippo was the only one who could really talk to him."_

_The little miko felt her heart squeeze at the revelation that Sesshomaru had loved someone before and not just anyone, a ningen. A small part of her quailed at the thought of going up against something like that and as though sensing this Nala pinned her with an intense stare. _

"_I have an idea. Why don't we test a theory of mine?"_

_Kagome frowned and looked at Nala uncertainly, "I don't know. What is it?"_

_Smiling wickedly the woman said, "Sesshomaru is hard to read but he does give cues through his body language. Why don't you flirt with him a bit? See if you can get a reaction?"_

_The petite woman blinked before blushing and said, "Are you insane?! Flirt with Sesshomaru?! No way! He wouldn't react at all."_

_Nala snorted and shook her head, "Somehow I find that hard to believe. I'll give you one of his cues. If he won't meet your gaze, he's trying to hide something from you….If he runs, he's trying to hide something from himself."_

_Kagome frowned and said, "Sesshomaru-sama never runs."_

_Giving the girl a knowing smile she said, "Any male will run when confronted with something they refuse to face, especially in front of a woman."_

Kagome glanced back at the door and sighed, "I guess she was right…but then what…"

'…_is he trying not to face?'_

(OoO)

When Sesshomaru finally came back –with food amusingly enough- Kagome was curled up on the sofa watching TV acting as though nothing had happened. He was relieved to see her regular smile on her face as he closed the door behind him and she looked up.

"What did you get for dinner?"

The taiyoukai paused and was suddenly struck by the very domestic scene playing out, a scene that had been playing out for a year and three months now. Blinking slowly and shaking off the surprise he finally replied. "Kitsune Udon."

Kagome blinked lethargically before a large smile curled her lips and she said, "Oh good! My favorite!"

A small almost unnoticeable smile curled his lips fondly and he said unthinkingly, "I know."

She stopped mid step since she'd gotten up to get trays from the kitchen so they could eat in the living room like usual. She turned slightly and gave him a suspicious look, "_Oh?_"

He glanced away and said, "You were taking care of Rin. I had need of knowing what you liked so that I may reward you."

Rolling her eyes at the way he made her sound like a pup in need of a treat she turned back around and continued on her way to the kitchen. She never noticed the way he sighed out in relief or the way his body relaxed but she kept in mind that he looked away and therefore was still hiding something. From her place in the kitchen as she opened the fridge as he set out the food she called,

"What do you want to drink? Oh! Sessho you bought Ramune?!"

From his place by the coffee table he scowled at her happy/excited/amused squeal knowing it was at his expense. "Woman, quite being insufferable and just grab anything."

He heard her bell like laugh from the living room and rolled his eyes before looking up when she entered the room once more. He was relieved to see she'd grabbed him a Kinkan while she herself took a Ramune.

"You're so sensitive, Sessho. You need to be nicer to me or one day I might go away."

He froze at the reminder that one day she _would_ go away and something in him clenched. Gruffly he growled, "Silence yourself immediately woman. I have provided food and I shall consume it all if you do not cease and desist."

She pouted slightly before plopping down on the floor by his knee while he sat on the couch. "Hmmph! See if I share any of my udon with you now, Grumpy."

She laughed lightly as he huffed and at the sound he relaxed a little, handing her the udon before grabbing his own food. She flicked through the channels before settling on a movie and leaned against the sofa as she ate. It was a companionable silence that Sesshomaru was thankful for as his chaotic thoughts finally slowed to a halt and he allowed himself to relax fully once more. When they were done eating Kagome began inserting her two cents once in a while, laughing at certain parts or pointing things out and Sesshomaru was content in just listening.

When he felt a sudden weight against his leg it was well into the night and he looked down to see she'd fallen asleep. Softening slightly at the peaceful look on her face he leaned down and picked her up, amused when she curled closer to him and mumbled for Shippo to stop stealing her Pocky. Snorting softly he carried her to the guest room that was slowly becoming hers and gently laid her on the bed. He pulled away and watched her curl up under the covers for a moment. Unthinkingly he reached out and brushed her bangs away watching as she leaned in to the touch instinctively. He blinked before snatching his hand away as though he'd been burned. Scowling lightly, he shook his head and left the room. Blaming the action on the fact that he still considered her a pack mate after her care of Rin and marriage to his brother. In short, he blamed instincts.

As he prepared for bed, he ignored that small, tiny part of his mind that whispered teasingly, _'Liar.'_

_TBC…_


	11. Chapter 11

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*11*_

"_Ne, Sesshomaru-sama?"_

_Gold irises slowly slid to the side and took in the petite form of the miko beside him. She glowed, seemingly radiating life itself as she looked out across the plain at the two children playing. She had a small wistful smile on her face as she watched but there was something almost unseeing about it. _

"_Do you believe in hitsuzen?"_

_The taiyoukai looked back out across the field and watched the children, taking in her scent of sadness and melancholy. "This Sesshomaru makes his own fate, ningen."_

_A small painful laugh escaped the woman and she looked at him with something he couldn't read but he was growing familiar with seeing in her eyes whenever she looked at him. "I should have known you'd say that…"_

_She looked away almost as though it was too painful to keep looking at him but he could not. Even suffering silently with her pain he found her oddly…beautiful. He could almost understand why his father had risked anything to be with his human. How fragile they appeared yet the strength and light that was held within them seemed to be the complete opposite of his own youkai nature. Silently, Sesshomaru could admit that his father had been right because in this moment, sitting beside the human woman that was his brother's wife. His beast finally slept and was at peace._

(OoO)

Kagome woke slowly before flinching away from wakefulness when a pounding headache assaulted her mind violently. She let out a low groan before curling more firmly under the covers, sandwiching her head between her hands as she clenched her eyes shut. Something, her powers, seemed to pulse deep within her and it caused a deep soulful ache. Kagome took a shuddering breath, recognizing the feeling and connecting it to the one time her soul had been ripped in two for Kikyo's clay body. It was a strange feeling to have again, especially since her soul was not being ripped apart now in this instance but it certainly felt like it.

"Kagome?"

She bit her lip and a small whimper escaped as even the smallest call of her name sent the pain flaring to life terribly. Suddenly, the blankets were flying off of her and she curled even more tightly into the fetal position. She felt worried, gentle clawed hands fluttering around her body as though trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Her fingers curled into her hair and tugged slightly at it as another whimper escaped as her powers pulsed once more. His hands continued to trail over her head and rub comforting circles into her back even though her powers lashed out and burned his skin viciously.

"Breathe, Higurashi. Just breathe."

She sucked in breathes before letting them out quickly and shakily. She realized the soft keening voice was her as she tried to keep the tears of pain at bay. She could feel his youki spiking chaotically around her, probing at her and retreating pacifyingly when her reiki rose threateningly. Something had changed, something had _broken_ but she didn't know what and how it would affect them if at all.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Kagome could hear the silent questions in it. _'What can I do to make it stop?'_ Her heart stopped clenching painfully and her soul's ache softened slightly as she opened her eyes to see his worried expression. Unthinkingly she reached out for his injured hand and clutched it to her chest, curling around it as pain racked her entire body. Silently she prayed, _'Kami-sama. If you make me fall for this youkai. If you make me truly and utterly fall for him…Don' make me break his heart. Don't have me hurt him. Don't make me do what Inuyasha did to me.'_

(OoO)

It was hours later when the pain finally released her and still her body would spasm once in a while, clenching up as the phantom jolts of pain continued to haunt her exhausted body. She lay half in Sesshomaru's lap and half on the bed. Still clutching his hand as her mind floated in and out of blissful darkness. Sesshomaru watched as her eyes fluttered close before clenching shut when a spasm hit her before slowly, cautiously relaxing. A low growl escaped him as he felt helpless to do anything but watch and much to his amazement she squeezed his hand comfortingly.

She was the one suffering and yet still she tried to show him comfort. Gold eyes were hidden from sight for a moment as the dream he had just before her pain woke him came unbidden into his mind. "Tell me something."

Her voice was exhausted and he vaguely wondered whether talking was for her benefit or his. "You should sleep."

Her body suddenly clenched up again and he tightened his hold around her body unconsciously as she tightened her grip on his hand. "…Can't…"

His mind was a chaotic whirl of thoughts so instead he asked, "What do you wish to know?"

For a long while she was quiet and he thought she'd mercifully fallen asleep finally but she murmured, "Nala told me you'd loved a human woman…that she died."

This time it was his body that clenched up as pain shot through his entire being. His eyes clenched shut tight and he cursed Nala's big mouth for a second.

"You don't have to tell me who she was…or anything actually if you don't want to."

He looked down at the woman in his lap and took in her pale pallor and quivering body before coming to a decision. "What do you want to hear?"

"What was she like?"

A small smile quirked his lips and he said softly, "She was…_unique_. She was kind, merciful, loving and so very, _very_ sad."

He paused before he continued, "I think she was beautiful…I think she was life itself. She felt _so much_ and gave so much but never did she ask for anything."

He chuckled lightly as he said, "She had a temper on her…especially when it came to what she felt was right."

A little smile curled Kagome's lips and she said, "She sounds perfect for you."

He looked down at Kagome closely for a long moment before he said quietly, "You ningen might not understand the seriousness of this but…she let my beast sleep."

A small frown touched Kagome's lips and she said just as quietly, "Nala said you didn't court her."

Reflexively his fingers curled tightly around Kagome's hand before releasing it and he said, "She already had an intended…and I was content with just being around her."

"It did not please Sesshomaru-sama to try and woo her from her intended?" His lips quirked up at her tired teasing tone and said, "It did not please this Sesshomaru to make her any sadder than she already was."

"She was sad? With her intended?"

He was quiet before he said softly, "Yes…but I never understood why."

"I'm sorry, Sesshomaru-sama…."

He was surprised when something warm fell on his hand and he looked down to see tears streaming from tired blue eyes as they watched him. He sighed lightly and wiped them away gentle as he said, "It was long ago…and she passed away honorably. She was…very brave until the end."

"You must have cared for her very much. To give her up the way you did…I do not know if I'd be that strong."

He gave her a strange smile as he said lightly, "No…you'll be stronger."

Suddenly, unwilling to delve anymore into those memories or thoughts he gently nudged her head back down on to his lap and said, "Try to sleep."

She studied his face for a moment before curling up on his lap, hugging his hand to her and slowly, mercifully drifting off to sleep. When he was sure she was deep in sleep he slipped out from under her and pressed his nose to her temple, breathing in her scent deeply before pulling away.

Looking at her weary but peaceful face he said softly, "I did."

With one final look at her resting form he slipped out the room and headed out after dressing. Deciding to immerse himself in work to avoid the memories talking had brought up.

_TBC…_

**A/N:** Another bittersweet chapter that really makes me hate myself. This one was more of a filler between chapters since I kind of wanted to delve a little more into Sesshomaru's hidden feelings that I'd been hinting at for the past…oh I don't know four chapters? Lol hope you guys enjoyed it and this is officially three chapters in one day XD yeesh and I'm writing a fourth one right now. This is what happens when a person _finally_ gets a day off of work.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*12*_

Sesshomaru was avoiding her.

Ami kept scolding her and telling her to stop jumping to conclusions but what was she supposed to think when she even went to his office and she couldn't see him. His home was always empty but she could tell he _had_ been there just not _when_. It was frustrating. She scowled down at her phone before it hit her. She had his phone number. Glaring down at it she quickly scrolled through her contacts before she came to _'Silver knight Sessho'_ he'd not been pleased at all after seeing it. Hence why it was still his contact name but she was getting off track. Pressing the enter button to text him she quickly typed out a message.

**I am unhappy with you! –Kags**

She looked out of her classroom window as her professor droned on about arithmetic or something of the likes. She started slightly when her phone vibrated noisily but thankfully no one but a few people next to her noticed. Giving them an apologetic look she took it off her desk and looked down at the message.

**Pay attention to your school work, Higurashi. –S**

She let out a hiss of annoyed breath before glancing up at her professor then typing a return message.

**Nope I'm not listening to someone who makes it their business to avoid me. –Kags**

Looking over the message she sent it and just for good measure she wrote,

**You're mean, I don't wish to speak with you. –Kags**

Nodding in approval at the message she closed her phone and slid it into her pocket. Determined to ignore it for the rest of the day now that her displeasure was known. He was the same jerk he always was. No way was she actually falling for the stupid handsome, nice haired inu youkai.

'_Stupid inu youkai_.'

(OoO)

**You're mean. I don't wish to speak with you. –Kags**

Sesshomaru looked down at the message with a little bit of amusement showing on his features before slipping his phone back in his pocket. He reclined back on the chair he sat in as he watched the heads of sister corporations arguing with each other. He really hated how these ningen thought about nothing but the money they could make. Ito stood at his side, looking on in disgust at the few demons that had joined in on the argument. The inu youkai glanced at his watched and surmised that there was ten minutes before he had to leave and then twenty minutes till Kagome came out of school. Deciding that it was enough time he stood up slowly and everyone's attention immediately zeroed in on him.

"Gentlemen, I think we've wandered a little ways from the original topic. We have a month and a half until the gala. I'd like to hear what the progress is for it."

There was a wave of murmured agreements as the businessmen settled back down in their seats and the frazzled woman who'd been standing at the head of the table looked relieved. Bowing to Sesshomaru she passed a packet around for each member before she began talking.

"There will be over twenty thousand guests at the gala this year including yourselves. Sakimi-san has decided to hold the event at Hana no Akemi hall and the theme will be flowers to match the name. Black tie event as usual although women are able to wear cocktail dresses of various colors. If you have not RSVP'd your plus one please do so before you leave today. Hatsukoi Kafe will be catering to the event so if you have any requests please let me know before you leave as well. As of now that is all. In the packet you all received is the lists of organizations that will be attention as well as other business men from rival corporations."

The woman looked over her notes once more before nodding her head, unknowingly amusing Sesshomaru with the coincidence that the Café he'd gone to with Kagome was the one catering the event. She looked up from her notes with a tremulous smile and said, "That is all then. Thank you for coming in and please be sure to RSVP your plus one with me if you haven't."

Sesshomaru slowly got up as the other business men hurried from their seats to do what they needed to then leave. It was amusing really, how much they rushed around. He began to walk up to the slightly frazzled woman just as a voice that grated on his nerves cut in. "Well if it isn't HIsato Fudomi the eligible bachelor. Going solo again this year?"

The taiyoukai looked over his shoulder and felt Ito tense at his side as he met dark almost black eyes of the wolf youkai. "Shimino…"

He turned back around and graced the woman with a small smile at her grateful look before leaning down to the clip board and writing down in crisp letters.

_HIgurashi Kagome_

Straightening and putting the pen down as everyone watched him in shock he looked over his shoulder at the okami and smirked. "As a matter of fact…I'm not."

With that he left, feeling very satisfied but knowing if Kagome found out he'd practically –and quite literally- threw her to the wolves she'd kill him. At that thought he leaned forward after he and Ito got into the car.

"After we stop by the usual place I need you to take me to one more place."

His driver tipped his hat in understanding before driving off.

(OoO)

Kagome stretched with a little relieved groan as she walked beside Ami and Toya towards the school's entrance. "I forgot how much I _hate_ pop quizzes."

Toya chuckled and he said, "What are you talking about? We had one just two days ago for Nakamura-sensei's class."

Kagome's face twisted in disgust before she said, "Exactly, I had purged it from my mind before you brought it up again."

Both of her friends laughed at her dismay and disgust before the whispers reached their ears. "Do you think he's from the local college?"

"I don't know but he's _hot_."

"He looks kind of dangerous."

"Why do you think he's on our turf?"

"Maybe he's a transfer student?"

Kagome blinked and turned to her friends who looked equally puzzled. Ami slipped from under Toya's arm and walked up to one of the girls walking past whispering. "Hey what's going on?"

The girl blinked before looking at her friend and then giggling. "There's this guy standing in front of the school. He looks like he's waiting for someone."

Kagome felt her stomach drop and she squeaked, "What does he look like?"

The girls gave her a curious look before saying, "He has short brown hair and _really_ light brown eyes."

"He's wearing a business suit too."

Kagome groaned and swore, "I'm going to _kill_ him."

Giving her friends an apologetic look she said, "I'll see you guys later. I have an idiot to skin alive."

Ami giggled and waved her off as she said, "Go and see your knight."

She shot her friend an annoyed look before rushing off. She should have _known_ it was too convenient for the Inu to take her words at face value. If she was honest a part of her was actually kind of happy he'd come since it meant he _wasn't_ avoiding her. The moment she was outside it wasn't hard to spot him through the crowded school entrance. Slapping on an annoyed look even though she was sure his stupid youkai senses would tell him otherwise she stomped up to him and glared.

"Excuse me, sir. You're disturbing the peace."

Light brown eyes flickered gold for a moment as their eyes met and he smirked infuriatingly. "Am I?"

This time she scowled for real at him and folded her arms as she leaned on one leg with a clear unimpressed look. "If this is your way of trying to wriggle back into my good graces you're failing miserably."

His eyebrow arched in that way she _hated_ yet adored because it was just so _Sesshomaru_. "I didn't realize I had to."

She let out a low impressive guy and opened her mouth to put him in place before another voice cut in. "Kagome-san, _HIsato-san_ as amusing as it is to watch we do have a schedule to keep."

Blue eyes looked around the Greek statue that was Sesshomaru and smiled at Ito. "Oh! How are you?! How is Nala-san doing?"

Ito smiled gently and said, "She is well. She asked about you, says she wants to get together again."

Kagome warmed at the idea of seeing the demonness again and nodded her head again. "If they go out again, you're going with them Ito."

The bear youkai pales slightly at Sesshomaru's annoyed warning and Kagome smiled sweetly at Ito. "I guess we'll be seeing each other soon then."

Ito threw a petulant glare at Sesshomaru before Kagome remembered they had eyes on them and shooed Sesshomaru away. "So if Ito-san says you have to leave, you can leave."

Sesshomaru looked at her in clear exasperation before he said, "He mentioned you as well."

Kagome blinked before frowning not completely understanding what was going on. "What do you mean? Why would I go? We didn't make any plans."

"No but you have plans now."

She opened her mouth to protest but he held up a finger and she stopped. "You can either go willingly or I can make you come along."

Her eyes narrowed at his words and she was tempted to test that theory but at the reminder that there was thousands of eyes upon them she growled her acceptance. As she slipped into the car she muttered, "You better be prepared for the consequences of those words, _Sessho_."

He nearly grinned at the challenge in her words before slipping in behind her.

(OoO)

Kagome looked up at the fancy building they'd stopped in front of and looked at Sesshomaru questioningly. He merely gave her an amused look before gesturing for her to go ahead of him as he turned to speak to his driver. Rolling her eyes she obeyed and opened the door to it, stepping in she noticed a long hall before noticing her name on a sign with an arrow. Curiously she followed it until it led to another sign that pointed to a door. Her lips twitched up slightly before entering the room only to be surprised by the banner and the familiar faces. Souten and Shippo grinned at her while holding Haruka's hand. Nala laughed lightly at her surprised face as she leaned against a wall while her mother, brother and his girlfriend smiled at her from the corner. There was mirrors all over the room and the banner read, _To Celebrate the Day You Fell into Our Lives!_

Kagome bit her lip feeling her eyes water up as she looked at her friends, old and new. Sesshomaru came behind her as he said, "The kit came up with the idea."

Shippo chuckled as he said, "He won't admit he made it all possible."

The petite miko laughed happily as everyone swarmed around her and suddenly as she met warm gold eyes she felt at _home_. For the second time since being stuck on this side of the well her heart felt full and she knew this was another day she'd never forget.

As she laughed and talked with everyone, teasing her little brother and pampering her 'Grandaughter' much to her mother's amusement, her eyes never strayed too far from a certain taiyoukai. When he finally approached her she noticed there was a slender, willowy youkai next to him and Kagome looked at him questioningly. "This is Yazu, he's a dance instructor here."

Suddenly all the mirrors made sense and she grinned at the delicate looking youkai with lavender colored hair and matching eyes. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

The young looking man smiled demurely as he shook her hand and said, "The pleasure is all mine. Sesshomaru-sama says you will be an eager student."

Kagome blinked in surprise before she looked at the taiyoukai and spluttered, "But who would be my partner?"

The inu smirked superiorly as he said, "Who else but the person that invited you?"

Her mouth fell open for a moment before they narrowed and although her lips quirked up she growled playfully, "This does not pardon your sneaking behavior."

He chuckled softly so only she could hear and said, "Of course not."

_TBC…_


	13. Chapter 13

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:** I'm really happy you guys are reviewing and enjoying the story! Thank you to those who've been following/faving as well! **ATTENTION TO ALL READERS!** I currently have a poll up on my page that has to do with the gala scene which is the next chapter…at least I hope it will be lol This story has taken on a life of its own. But back on track I'd really appreciate it if my readers could go and vote on who you all would like to come to Kagome's rescue when Sesshomaru's admires (and Shinomi) decide to confront her during the gala. I also have a personal playlist for this story that I listen to when I write this story and I decided 'hey why not share it! So that will also be on my page unless you want me to send it to you. IN which case just pm me and I'll definitely send you the link ^_^ if you can't get it to work I'll write down the songs on the playlist. That aside I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*13*_

Kagome had no doubt about it now if she had ever doubted it over the past year or so. She was in love with Sesshomaru, more than she'd ever been even with Inuyasha. The past few weeks had proven that to her with her ever present desire to just be _near_ him. To argue with him, to laugh and tease and just _be_. The chasm that once yawned deep inside of her with even the thought of Inuyasha had long since filled in. Sesshomaru felt like _home_ to her and like her mother had said her entire being knew she belonged with the taiyoukai. As she slowly walked downstairs, tears streaming down her face, and walking to the kitchen. Kagome realized she had a problem.

Her mama turned just as she got to the doorway and looked in alarm at her distressed daughter. Leading her to a chair at the table she asked, "Kagome, what's wrong?"

Kagome sniffled as she wiped the tears viciously from her face. Anger at life and her fate filling her. "Mama, what am I going to do? I'm in love with Sesshomaru but from everything he's said I go back to Inuyasha."

Himiko looked at her daughter sadly before she said, "I don't know Kagome. I do know that you should tell him before it is too late."

Kagome sniffled again and asked, "But what about Inuyasha?"

Himiko looked at her daughter sadly and shook her head. "Remember Kagome you can't keep both. You have to choose."

Kagome wavered, thinking of her almost childish love of Inuyasha and remembering all their times together. How they'd argue and how they'd fight together. His cocky smirks versus his awkward show of love. Then she thought about Sesshomaru and the feeling that seemed to swell from deep inside of her until it spilled over. She thought about how he had first tried to kill her and then everything after including these recent days. She thought about his infuriating superiority complex and the gentleness he seemed to show only to her. Then the one time she'd seen him truly laugh because of her filled her mind. In that moment she knew, just _knew_ what she'd have to do. She wouldn't abandon Inuyasha without a word but she would stay with Sesshomaru. She just had to figure out _how_. Smiling gratefully but shakily at her mother she said softly, "Thank you for listening, mama."

Himiko smiled and patted her daughter's cheek lovingly as she said, "You're welcome. I just want you to be happy."

(OoO)

Two pairs of eyes stared at each other, one in annoyance the other with amusement. Throwing her hands in the air Kagome growled out, "I give up! I'm not going to the stupid gala with an egotistical conniving inu!"

Yazu watched as the two bickered playfully, long used to their antics after a few sessions with them.

"You are being childish, Higurashi."

Reiki flared out threateningly and he wisely backpedaled, "You are being unreasonable once more, HIgurashi."

"That's better."

"You approve of being unreasonable?"

"When it comes to you? You _need_ someone to be unreasonable." A glare was shot at the petite woman and she giggled. He huffed lightly before his arms were around her once more and she squeaked. Seeing this as the sign that they were going to continue Yazu smiled and stepped up. "Now Kagome-san, I understand it might be…_taxing_ to learn alongside a partner such as Sesshomaru-sama but I beg patience. So that these new steps maybe learned."

A slender eyebrow raised at those words but amusement danced across Sesshomaru's lips as the tiny female in his arms huffed softly before stilling. "Fine but I'm purifying his butt all the way till kingdom come after this gala is over and done with."

Yazu chuckled before correcting their stance and both automatically straightened. Kagome tried to ignore the way Sesshomaru's hand rested just above her hip and how he pulled her a little closer but it was _hard_. It was also the main reason _why_ she kept messing up. She would look up into his face and see those gold eyes trained on her and she'd instantly trip up.

"_Breathe_, Higurashi."

Kagome blinked at his chest before taking a deep breath, she hadn't even realized she'd been holding it. She shot him a dirty look when she more felt his chuckle then heard it but his face was as serious as ever much to her chagrin. She huffed lightly and looked back down at their feet to make sure she didn't trip up. However, her heart nearly stopped when his clawed fingers left her hip and tipped her chin up to look her in the face. Her eyes widened before he put his hand back in its proper place and he said,

"You will not be dancing looking at the floor during the gala. Get used to _this_."

She blushed darkly and glanced away before she grumbled her assent. As though knowing she needed to get her mind off of it he began to talk as they practiced the steps. He kept an ear out to hear Yazu's instructions as well as he did so. "Have you and Nala not found a dress yet?"

The petite young woman blinked before wilting slightly and sighing, "No…it's a little frustrating…and worrisome. The gala is right around the corner after all."

Sesshomaru made a thoughtful noise as he turned them slightly, listening to Yazu's instructions before he said, "Have you tried having it made especially for you?"

Kagome nearly stopped but he tugged her gently into continuing and she looked up at him, "Is that even possible? The gala is in just a few weeks if even that."

He shrugged his shoulders slightly but she could feel it from where her hand rested against his shoulder. "It can be a rush order, they usually get them done in a day or two. The problem would be you and Nala coming up with a design."

Kagome looked at him thoughtfully before saying slowly, "I _might_ know what I want…but wouldn't it be too much."

A delicate eyebrow rose and she blushed, glancing away once more. "I do believe it's a little late to be worrying about my pockets."

She giggled quietly before she said, "Alright, alright point taken."

She relaxed slowly in his arms and in turn he too relaxed at her content scent. She no longer stared at their feet and stumbled nervously. She moved gracefully in his arms and she didn't even realize it until they came to a stop. She looked from Sesshomaru's smirk to Yazu's proud smile and the dance instructor said,

"You did it, Kagome-san."

Sesshomaru decided it had been worth distracting her with talk when he saw the delighted smile that lit her face and melted the ice around his heart a little more.

(OoO)

Nala and Kagome looked at what the dress designer had drawn from Kagome's over all description of what she wanted. Nala glanced at the younger female beside her before a grin stretched her lips and she said,

"_Actually_, why don't we take off those sleeves and make it similar to a turtle neck. The designer glanced at Kagome's open mouth before a slight twitch of her lips upward signaled her amusement. "Actually instead of a turtle neck make it like a Mandarin collar."

Nala's grin stretched even wider and she said pointing to a few spots on the dress as the designer sketched quickly, "Why not make it skin tight with a slit down the side."

Kagome blushed and opened her mouth to protest but Nala wasn't finished, "Also cut out these parts for a little skin."

The miko let out a little squeak before she stopped the designer's hands and said, "Let's actually just make that part see through…"

The woman chuckled lightly before looking at Nala, "First timer?"

The demonness rolled her eyes fondly and said, "Amusingly enough, yes."

Nodding her head and going back to her work, Nala laughed at Kagome's blush and scowl. She cooed at the younger woman teasingly and said, "Awe you know I'm just kidding 'Gome. It's adorable."

The younger woman rolled her eyes this time and looked over the design of the dress. "Can you make the back the same as the front? With a bit of a dip?"

The woman looked over it before smiling slightly and nodding her head.

"Make it flare out a bit at the bottom." Nala cut in and Kagome looked at her curiously, "Like a mermaid's tail?"

Nala gave a thoughtful look before shaking her head a little, "Not that narrow."

When the woman was finally done the girls were singing her praises as they looked at the final work. The woman smiled at Kagome and said, "It was a pleasure. Most women that come in here are snotty little wenches. Come by any time and I'll make more of your dresses with a discount. I should have this one ready by the end of the weekend."

Kagome's face lit up and nodded her head, "I'll definitely do that! Thank you!"

The woman chuckled and said, "It was a pleasure. Just come in for a check that it fits and then you can leave with it. Make sure you tell that old dog to visit me and stop being a stranger."

Kagome let out a bark of laughter as her eyes lit up and she agreed. Waving at the woman she dragged Nala with her so they could find some shoes and jewelry.

The designer shook her head with a smile as she said, "There goes a woman in love…"

(OoO)

"Black and gold would definitely look good with the dress. Kagome gave her new friend an uncertain look before she held out the shoes she was holding, "But what if we don't find the right jewelry?"

Nala rolled her eyes with a grin as she said, "I already _know_ what jewelry would go great with the outfit."

Kagome wavered slightly before a slow grin curled her lips and she said, "Fine. Gold and black heels it is."

"Oh excellent! I know just the ones then!"

Kagome blinked before giving Nala an amused look, "Do you already have my look planned out?"

The demonness gave her a guilty smile and said, "I _might_ have modified your dress with an idea in mind…maybe…"

The little miko laughed as she threw her hands in the air. "Why do I even bother!?"

They laughed together as Nala expertly guided her through all the isles before coming to one section in particular. Snatching a box off the shelf she handed it to Kagome with an excited smile, "Try this one on!"

Kagome gave her an uncertain look but obeyed none the less and was surprised by the comfort of them. Knowing that look Nala laughed and instructed her to take a few steps in them and once again she was surprised by the ease of it. Giving the woman a grudging look she said, "_Fine_ we'll get these."

Nala cackled happily and Kagome allowed herself –against her better judgment- to be bullied and coerced just like Sesshomaru told her not to.

_TBC…_

**A/N: **In the next chapter I will be putting in a link to what is similar to what Kagome will be wearing for the gala. I couldn't find anything exactly like what she was wearing but it was close enough to what I had in mind lol Another little filler chapter before the big chapter comes in. NEXT! The gala event finally comes!


	14. Chapter 14

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

** Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:** So I have a pretty good picture of what Kagome's outfit is. I couldn't find anything _exactly_ like what I imagined but its close enough lol

This is the original idea: Original dress design :

** tinyurl l5usn52**

This is everything I put together that was close enough: Overall Look :

** tinyurl m4sxl52**

Kagome's mandarin collar and the sleeveless designs are like the second dress but the overall look (including the see through parts) is the first dress. The shoes, makeup, hair ornaments and hairstyle is as seen in the second link. Just add com after tinyurl but before the other part. Unfortunately it wont let me write out the whole url.

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*14*_

Sesshomaru looked at himself in the mirror as he finished the knot on his black silk tie. A gold strip ran along the very end of the tie as per request of Kagome to wear _something_ with gold. His lips twitched up as he remembered teasing her lightly that perhaps he should just let the glamour around his eyes go. She'd been annoyed at his teasing words as well as a little disappointed that her sensibility kicked in to scold him about it. He was well aware she preferred his true looks to that of his human guise as it was what she was used to. The youkai studied his outfit one more time, taking in the slightly trimmed white locks and tailored three piece that fit his form a little snuggly. Gold eyes lit in approval before letting the glamour fall neatly into place and watching as his white locks faded to brown while gold eyes darkened to a light brown. On most people it would have made them look rather plain but his slightly narrow, slanted eyes , angular yet delicate features made him appear almost ethereal still just in a more human way. He smirked before Ito stepped in, a deep violet kerchief in his tuxedo's breast pocket to match his wife's dress most likely.

"Dashing as ever, Sesshomaru-sama."

A slender brow rose on the taiyoukai's face and he said, "You clean up well yourself."

Ito's face colored lightly as he tugged at his collar slightly and he said, "I am unused to these things. I don't understand why Nala is dragging me along."

A smile twitched on the taiyoukai's face and he suddenly wondered if Kagome was rubbing off on the woman. The little miko enjoyed watching him squirm and it seemed Nala has suddenly gained an intense like for putting her mate in uncomfortable situations. Sesshomaru could not say he felt sorry for the bear youkai after all those days defending Kagome's teasing nature and calling it '_innocent'_. Ito looked up from his phone and smiled slightly,

"It seemed the ladies are ready to be picked up at Kagome-san's home. Shall we go my lord?"

The taiyoukai blinked, suddenly thrust back into past memories at those words before shaking them off. However, it did not ease the suddenly uneasy feeling roiling in his gut but he donned his mask as he walked past his assistant.

"Indeed, let us go get them."

As they sat in the limo on their way to pick up the women Sesshomaru watched his assistant answer calls and dealt with everyone expertly. He'd known the man since puphood alongside Nala and he vaguely wondered when had their friendship shifted to something more. He had never known it was even possible to feel something more for a _friend_ until them and then…_Kagome_.

At the thought of her his eyes shifted to the upcoming shrine and he wondered what she was wearing. She and Nala had been very secretive about what sort of dress they'd ordered for her but he'd seen her humming happily the past few days so he'd been content enough not knowing. If she was happy with it he would not complain. A small frown curled his lips down as he realized his thoughts. He was getting too attached…he'd only get hurt again when she went back to Inuyasha. The taiyoukai blinked when he was shook from his thoughts by Ito who frowned at him in confusion.

"We're here, Sesshomaru-sama."

The inu looked at him for a moment before his eye slid to the window and saw that they were in fact in front of the shrine. Clearing his throat slightly he ignored Ito's worried look and stepped out gracefully, climbing up the steps of the shrine. When he got to the door it burst open and Nala was there in a halter top dress with a low dip in the back and slits at both sides for her legs. It started a light purple before fading to a deeper violet towards the end and it hugged her curves nicely. Her long midnight black hair fell in soft waves around her body, violet gems winked innocent on her ears and soft lavender makeup around her eyes highlighted the dark violet of them. She was beautiful as to be suspected and her grin told him she knew what he was thinking.

"Oh you have yet to see anything, big boy."

Laughing lightly she guided him to the stairwell and said, "You! You stay here and don't move until she comes down."

His eyebrow raised and he said, "I was led to believe you were both ready."

Nala rolled her eyes with a soft huff, "The effect wouldn't be the same if she was already done by the time you came."

He blinked, "She is not aware that I am here?"

She gave him a thoughtful look, "Well she did but she's so in tune with your youki she might sense you here now."

He frowned slightly, "You are an insufferable woman."

"I can live with that, especially since you think most women are insufferable."

The inu huffed softly and shook his head, her being in pretty clothes did nothing to change her snarky attitude. He really _should_ be used to it by now. He looked up towards the stairs when a sound caught his attention and the scent of wild flowers caught his attention. Kagome's mother slowly came down the stairs with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. "She's done…"

He could scent the excitement from the two females and cocked an eyebrow at Ito who just shrugged. "I'm used to it by now."

The inu snorted rudely before another more familiar scent filled his nose and her voice reached his ears, "You really shouldn't generalize all women."

His eyes immediately turned to retort to the petite miko but every thought disappeared as he watched a Goddess walk down the stairs of a Miko's house. Blue eyes twinkled brightly at his response as he took her in slowly from top to bottom, his eyes wide in shock.

She wore a long black dress with a slit down the left side to reveal a bit of leg, she wore black and gold strappy heels that added to her height a bit. Around her chest and trailing in a strip towards her hips was a see through part of the dress while the whole back of it, dipping low, was also see through with winding patterns. Her dress was sleeveless but had mandarin collar that covered almost half of her slender neck. Kagome's rave colored hair was up in a messy bun held up by ornate gold and black chopstick like ornaments while a few wisps of hair curled around her face and neck delicately. Her blue eyes popped against the smoky black and gold makeup she wore. Her fingernails were designed with black and gold polish. Around her shoulder was a black fur lined shawl that gently rested against them as though they would float off any second.

The girl who had somehow become a goddess gave him an amused look, suddenly having a confident tilt to her lips and face. "_Breathe,_ Sesshomaru-sama."

Her mocking words in mimicry of his own taunts when she looked shocked broke him out of his own shock. He shot Nala a dirty look as she giggled while Kagome touched down from the last step and stood directly in front of the taiyoukai. Her head tilted to the side slightly as she looked at him from under thick, long soot colored lashes and his blood raced beneath his skin. "Does My Lord approve?"

There was something distinctly flirty and dangerous in her tone and suddenly that uneasy feeling made itself known again. Glancing away from her he stepped back a little and cleared his throat, not noticing the shift in her gaze as she acknowledged he was hiding and running once more. "If you are both quite done we are going to be late."

Light brown eyes flickered gold as they glanced at Kagome when she huffed softly before giving her mother a soft smile. "Thank you for helping with this, Mama."

Himiko Higurashi gave her daughter a watery but proud smile as she hugged her lightly, "Have fun…and remember what I said."

Something seemed to pass between the two as Kagome seemed to waver for a moment before nodding her head slowly. Blue eyes flickered to meet light brown for a millisecond before she was wrapping her arm around Nala's.

"Let's go before these stuffy men ruin our good mood."

A wicked smile curled the demonness' lips and she laughed lightly, "One in particular."

Kagome turned her nose up and sniffed daintily in an impressively snobbish way as she mimicked Sesshomaru, _"Indeed."_

Ito's own lips quirked up as the girl's walked past them and at the Inu's dirty look he said in amusement, "You have to admit that it was good."

(OoO)

_"I don't know if that's a good idea, Mama." Kagome said uncertainly as the woman did her hair and Himiko Higurashi smiled understandingly. "So you are content with the way things are?"_

_Kagome hesitated, searching inside of herself. "Until I figure out how to stay with him…yes…besides I don't know if he even feels the same."_

_Himiko frowned lightly before stilling her daughter's nervous fidgeting before she wrinkled the dress. Kneeling in front of Kagome she let a loving but firm look cover her features as she looked into her oldest child's eyes. "Kagome…you don't see the way he looks at you. A man does not get the look that he does unless he feels _something_ for the woman."_

_Sighing lightly she squeezed Kagome's hands and said softly, "Trust your instincts."_

Kagome huffed lightly as she looked around the gala as she thought moodily, _'Well my instincts are telling me I was thrown to the wolves.'_ Thousands of eyes had been on her since her entrance on Sesshomaru's arms and how protectively he'd been standing by her until he'd excused himself _ten_ minutes ago. Once in a while she was approached by older business men that were curious and she explained that she was an old family friend looking to become a curator. She'd speak with them for a while and much to her surprise some gave her their cards. It was nice, to feel like she belonged in this world for those few minutes. However, the eyes on her now was hostile and it came from each and every female that was here. The miko sighed softly, picking up a glass of champagne from a passing waiters tray.

"I'm _sorry_ is this boring you?"

Kagome blinked before turning and meeting dark brown eyes. Arching a brow curiously she took in the woman's maroon dress that really did _nothing_ to help the woman's _too_ tan complexion and dull brown locks. She took a slow thoughtful sip, deciding to channel Sesshomaru's usually cool demeanor in these situations.

"I don't believe those words ever left my lips."

The woman sneered and Kagome's eyes narrowed slightly as other women approached with false smiles painted on their lips. "You think you're too good for us? Just cause Hisato-san took a bland woman like you to-"

Kagome had begun to get the distinct impression of high school as the woman spoke before a voice cut her off. "I see the vultures have already started to swarm around. How pleasant."

The little miko stiffened at the youki that radiated off the person behind her and slowly turned to face predatory brown eyes. They flickered to her for a moment and she noticed the all too light shade of the woman's eyes before they were once again focused on the women around her. "Bara, I see your causing trouble as usual. What did I tell you the _last_ time I caught you _sniffing_ around? Do we need have tea again?"

The young woman spluttered for a moment before glancing at the women around her who were quickly going back to their own dates. Shooting Kagome a sour look the woman, Bara, said petulantly, "I was just leaving actually."

Without another word she twirled on her heel in an overdramatic way and stomped back to her own date. Kagome felt her lips quirk up slightly and the woman's voice spoke her thoughts, "That really is a _horrible_ dress on her."

The petite miko snorted back a laugh as she covered her mouth before the pulsing youki reminded her that the woman beside her was not human. She studied the woman just as closely as she studied her, taking in the woman's extravagantly designed dress that had hints of butterfly designs on it. Her brown hair was tied back into two horse tails while the rest curled down her back and light brown eyes had a familiar slant to them. All in all even though Kagome could tell she was an older woman/older _demonness_ she was still stunningly beautiful but there was something distinctly familiar about her. The woman's lips tilted up slightly in a way that made something spark in the back of Kagome's mind.

"You're an interesting specimen he's picked up. Time certainly runs differently around you curiously enough." She gave Kagome a once over one more time before turning around as she said a fond tone to her voice, "I suppose I just have to accept it. He really is _far_ too much like his father."

Kagome blinked in confusion before she asked as the woman walked away, "Excuse me but who are you?"

The woman looked over her shoulder and her brow arched in a way Kagome _knew_. When her eyes flashed gold as she smirked, Kagome's mouth fell open in shock. "_You_ may call me Kimiko. I'll be keeping an eye on you so be a _good_ girl, Miko."

Without another word the older woman was gone and Kagome stood there in stunned silence, unsure if what just happened was real. However, she was pulled out of her shock when a familiar hand rested lightly just at the small of her back as it had been most of the night.

"Who were you just talking to?"

Kagome's mouth shut and she glanced into flickering gold eyes before a secretive smile curled her lips as she remembered the woman's words. Humming playfully as though she was considering it she thought, _'If she wanted him to know she was here she would have stayed longer.'_ Chuckling softly, she wrapped her arms around his and ignored his arched eyebrow that was too much like _hers_. _'So that's where he gets it from.'_

"Oh, no one. Just someone who felt charitable enough to help me get rid of some vultures."

The taiyoukai frowned uncomprehendingly before he just shook his head giving up on understanding females. _Ever_. Giving her an expectant look he began in a light teasing tone, "I hope you weren't-"

"_Hisato-kun_, so _this_ is where you've been."

She felt Sesshomaru tense under her touch at the viciously gleeful voice and she immediately felt two youki's flare. Sesshomaru's and the man that was no in front of them. He was handsome, in a rugged and dangerous way but her instincts immediately told her he was the type who'd enjoy taking a bite out of her. Blue eyes immediately narrowed as they locked on to flickering brown-black ones. The youkai's hair was pitch black and tousled but it worked in his two piece but his leer made her lip curl in disgust. She knew his type immediately, _wolf_.

"_Shinomi-kun_, how unpleasant." Sesshomaru drawled in a bored tone but she could feel his readiness to pounce by how his muscles coiled underneath her fingers.

The youkai grinned wolfishly as he said, "Yes well the same could be said to you but that _lovely_ piece of meat on your arm is another matter _entirely_. So _this_ is what you meant by not coming in alone? I never thought you were one to bring _dinner_ to an event."

Sesshomaru's growl started deep within his chest and reverberated out, taking a step forward as his eyes flashed gold. She watched as the wolf's grin turned malicious and immediately dug her nails into Sesshomaru's arm making him jerk. At the same moment she unmasked her reiki and let it lash out at the wolf causing him to let out a surprised but pained noise. She looked at the youkai coolly and her tone was frigid as she spoke.

"As I'm _sure_ you now know. _Dinner_ is at the table to our far right and I'm sure you can find _meat_ over there. Perhaps you need to be _shown_ the way though."

Her silent fury was palpable as her reiki flared impressively and now each youkai that had been unaware of her before now tensed. The wolf cowered slightly under her display of power and gave her a nervous smile, "To think you'd be a _miko_ of all things. Figures he can't just have a timid little human hang off his arm."

Deciding to cut his losses he tried to backpedal and shrugged his shoulders but they could both see the slight quiver of his body as instincts told him to _run_ and run far. Saluting both of them he took long strides away to where a couple of other youkai snickered at him. However, they all kept a wary eye on her as she slowly let her reiki sink back underneath her skin with a silent sigh. She turned to see gold eyes watching her intensely and she frowned, "Why are you staring at me like that for? He deserved it."

Her voice was slightly defensive and his lip twitched slightly before he finally looked away and guided her to a table. "_Indeed_, he did."

(OoO)

Sesshomaru watched as Kagome laughed with one of his sister companies Co-founder. The elder man chuckled softly, patting Kagome's hand on his arm in a fatherly way that made Sesshomaru's lips quirk up. _'You really can't not be friends with her…huh little brother.'_ His eyes swiveled over to Nala who approached him with a soft smile as she watched Kagome agree to dance with the man. She sat down next to him and sat back as her eyes slowly slid to his with an amused smile. "She's certainly a charmer."

He snorted rudely in agreement but said nothing, knowing she had something else to say. "She's certainly _powerful_ and far too _nice_. She's certainly an enigma to get you talking after all those years of being a grump…Which makes me wonder…"

Sesshomaru felt himself tense having a bad feeling he knew where she was going. "She knows quite a bit about you from when you were Lord of the West, _Secret Man of History_."

The inu scowled lightly, he really hated the name Ito had chosen for him. The bear youkai had found it all too funny but he hadn't in the least. "So tell me _Hisato Fumito_…is _she_ the human woman from all those centuries ago?"

His mind flashed the image of Inuyasha's enraged eyes and the smell of blood in the air for a moment. Slowly, his eyes closed as something inside of him twisted painfully and he took a shuddering breath as something threatened to shatter. He opened them slowly again to the image of Kagome laughing happily, her eyes meeting his for a second and sending him a warm smile before another grabbed her attention. It eased the tightness inside of him and he said so softly that even Nala had trouble hearing him.

"She was…is…going to be…my brother's mate." Nala looked at him for a moment and whispered fiercely, "_Why?!_ Why not _change_ that?! Why let her _die_?! She'll be happy here! She'll be happy with _you_!"

Rage suddenly surged up deep within him and he growled out, "Do you think I have not thought of it?! Do you think I have not been tempted with the thought of locking her away here with me?!"

The sudden rage ebbed away and as though sensing his emotions Kagome glanced worriedly in his direction and he said softly once more. "If not for the fact that she loves my brother…if not for the fact that she would miss her friends…if not for the fact…that it would change _everything_ including who I am now, the Sesshomaru that can _talk_ to her freely…I _would_."

Nala watched him morosely, tears glittering in her violet eyes as she slowly got up. Softly she whispered, "You should really look. I mean really _look_ at her. Maybe…maybe you will see nothing is what you really think."

Without another word she left and he knew she would go to seek comfort in her mate because he knew that she was also sad to find out that the woman who died was her beloved Kagome…_their_ beloved Kagome.

"Sesshomaru-sama?"

Flickering gold eyes snapped to meet curious blue and a slow grin curled pale plump lips as Kagome looked at him. She cocked her head to the side a little –the ornaments in her hair making soft tinkling sounds as she did so- and held out her hands as she said warmly, "Come dance with me!"

The taiyoukai watched her for a moment before slowly rising and taking her hand, tucking it in the crook under his elbow. He watched her as she chattered happily, telling him about all the CEO's and Co-founders that were impressed with her. He watched her as she laughed when she told him how some youkai had tried to propose to her after her power display and had to fight back the possessive growl that threatened to rise. He watched as she glowed with life, much more so that she had when she was suffering. To him she was-

"Beautiful…"

Kagome blinked, stopping mid-sentence as she looked up at him in confusion and said unintelligibly, "Huh?"

His lips quirked up and he felt his beast settle for the umpteenth time around this tiny female ningen that had untold power resting underneath her skin. "I was simply stating how impressive it is that you'd been complaining about this yet you're doing quite well."

For a moment she looked uncertain as though she was going to pursue it but she sniffed daintily and said, "No thanks to _you_. You keep leaving me alone and letting them _swarm_ me. I keep having to beat them away with my clutch. _Which_ by the way is heavy and has no more room for possible donor cards."

He chuckled slightly and said, as he gently held her in his arms so they could begin dancing, "Of course, how inconsiderate of me."

She let her bottom lip stick out a little and gave him a pathetic look, "My feet hurt too."

This time he laughed out right and she grinned breathlessly at it. Holding her to him as an interesting song selection came on she sighed contently and laid her head on his shoulder. She hummed softly along with the song as they swayed from side to side, his cheek resting on the top of her head in a rare relaxed manner.

_If I had no more time, no more time to be here_

_Would you cherish what we have…_

Sesshomaru pulled away slightly, bemused at the song choice at the moment. "Sessho…"

The Inu youkai glanced down at the petite woman in his arms but she was not looking at him, she still rested against his shoulder contently. So he hummed softly to let her know he was listening and she smiled lightly. "Thank you…for everything."

_I don't want to forget the present is a gift_

_And I don't want to take for granted the time you may have here with me…_

He was silent for a moment before he said, "No…thank _you_. I had forgotten what it was like to live…without _pain_."

Kagome lifted her face and met his eyes. She looked searchingly at his face and unthinkingly his hand lifted to caress her cheek. She leaned into it with a smile as she said, "I'm glad. Sesshomaru-sama should never be sad or in pain."

_Do you know until you lose it_

_That it's everything we've been looking for?_

A small frown tilted his lips as he looked down at the little human in his arms, as he looked at _Kagome_. _'You should really look.'_ Nala's words echoed in his head as a light pink dusted across the little miko's cheeks as she looked at him from beneath her lashes. Suddenly, as he looked into her eyes he understood. _'She feels the same…'_ Something in him tightened and he vaguely realized it was his _heart_ as he leaned closer to her face. Her eyes flickered to his lips before meeting his eyes and her breath grew shallow as her slender fingers dug into his shirt. That was all it took to break him from the spell he'd been under and he jerked back, blinking rapidly.

"S-Sesshomaru…"

He looked at her, the flush across her cheeks and the dilation of her pupils, and flinched. _What_ had he been _thinking_? "Sesshomaru…Sesshomaru, I have to tell you. Sesshomaru I-"

"_Stop_…" His voice was hoarse and it came out almost as a plea. Kagome blinked as she stopped but he could scent her scent souring quickly and he gently pulled away. Suddenly the rage from earlier rose up in him at the injustice of it all. Did fate think this was _funny_?! His eyes flashed gold and suddenly he was Lord Sesshomaru of the West as he said coldly, "Ito will come to bring you home."

Without another word he whirled around and stride out the Hall, never looking back. Not even when he heard Kagome's soft sob of his name.

_TBC…_

**A/N:** I'm sorry….but that was a total dick move. ARGH! Can I knock him?! *sigh* Well there you guys go. The gala scene that I have been planning for _days_ and I'm thoroughly displeased with our favorite taiyoukai. Unfortunately it doesn't really get any better from there so don't expect a heartfelt apology from him any time soon. He might love her but he _is_ Sesshomaru-_sama_ and he _is_ hurting at the moment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:**

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*15*_

It'd been a month since she'd seen Sesshomaru, a month since that night at the ball where she finally _knew_. Where she found out that he _loved_ her and it _hurt_. It hurt because he _loved_ her yet he'd _rejected_ her. She couldn't understand it and unlike with Inuyasha it left her feeling _empty_. There was no pain or aching chasm. There was just…_emptiness_ inside her. For the first week she'd simply lain in bed in the dress she'd worn that night and she couldn't even _cry_ save for that one sobbing breath of his name when he'd _run_…from _her_. Suddenly, it had all made sense, the avoidance and the refusing to confront whenever she tried to flirt. It wasn't because he _didn't_ love her. It was because he _did_ and he felt _guilty_ because he thought she was supposed to go back to _Inuyasha_, because he thought she still _loved_ Inuyasha. Something inside her had screamed terribly at the injustice of it and she cursed the fates for laughing at her misery.

Why couldn't anything in her life be _simple_?

After a week of seclusion and avoiding everyone, including her mother, Nala had barged into her dark room and dragged her out kicking and screaming. Since then, the woman was a constant companion in making sure she was always busy and never had time to _think_ let alone _feel_. However, she knew from the sad look in her new friend's eyes that Sesshomaru was _gone_ and it was quite possible that he wasn't coming back.

Night time when she sometimes went to the empty pent house and curled up in his bed, she allowed herself to nurse the empty feeling in her chest. Sometimes when she woke she tricked herself into thinking he was there or at least he had been but when she looked nothing had been touched or moved since the night of the gala.

After a month came and went Kagome finally gave up hope that she could somehow fix this and fell into a routine once more. Sometimes Nala or Ami would drag her out but at other times Kagome could bare to leave the pent house that had become her second home and where her precious memories with _him_ were. She wasn't stupid or as naïve as she used to be but there was still that little flicker of _hope_ that she could make this work, that she could make him understand. It had to because in the middle of her pain she was now surer than ever that he was _her_ soul mate.

(OoO)

Nala looked over Kagome's head at the equally concerned face of Ami. It was now six months since Sesshomaru's disappearance and while the girl _appeared_ to have recovered they both knew her well enough. Kagome was suffering. It was almost like it was literally _killing_ her to be away from Sesshomaru and it was worrying. She drowned herself in work at the Museum and spoke with some of the people from the gala as she began to prepare for entering the real world and pursue her dream career. When she wasn't at work she spent time with them either helping or just keeping busy. It worried them how _skinny_ she was getting but thankfully she _did_ eat, just not as much as she used to.

They had found not long after Sesshomaru left that Shippo had also uprooted and gone. It had devastated Kagome, nearly sending her into a downward spiral. Nala had never felt true anger for the taiyoukai at that moment. It was one thing to leave her because he was scared, it was a whole other thing to take. Her. _Kid_.

"I think we should go out."

Kagome blinked, looking up from the files she was going through on her room floor. She looked up at Ami and gave her a perplexed look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean _out_. Like a party or…or a club!"

Nala grinned widely, "Oooh! Yes! let's go to a club! In fact I know the perfect one!"

However, the raven haired miko frowned and shook her head as she went back to her filing. "No you two go. I have too much to do right now. Besides I'm not really in the mood."

Ami and Nala gave each other determined looks before they tackled Kagome further to the ground. She let out a short yelp and glared up at them but hesitated at their pathetic looks.

"You'd let two poor innocent _and_ vulnerable women go to the club alone?"

The little miko snorted in disbelief and amusement as she said chuckling slightly, "I see none of the above around me."

Nala slapped her arm gently in reprimand, "Damn it! Go along with us here!"

Rolling her eyes Kagome gave a great sigh and sagged in their hold in the universal sign of giving up. "_Fine, fine_. Get off so I can go get ready."

Ami and Nala cheered happily as they raced around the room chatting happily as they went through her clothes. Neither noticed the slight dull spark in Kagome's eyes as she watched them, unable to really enjoy it as much as her heart wanted to.

Once they were all dressed and made up, visiting each of their houses to get prepared individually, they went straight to the club Nala had in mind. Before entering Kagome caught sight of the club's sign, _Bakemono no Tsuki_, she frowned slightly at it before she was quickly ushered in. When she stepped through the door she was instantly hit with the amount of _youki_ that was in the place and she suddenly realized they were in a _youkai_ club. She shot Nala a panicked look as she whispered furiously, "What are you _thinking_?! Ami is _ningen_."

Nala rolled her eyes as she whispered back, "There are plenty of ningen that come here besides you're a miko and I'm youkai. We just have to stick close to each other."

Kagome wavered slightly, not liking this at all but they were here and Ami looked excited so she relented. "First sign of trouble we're leaving."

Nala nodded in agreement, wanting to pacify the alarmed miko and friend. At first they were watched warily before they started to dance, keeping close to each other. After a while, everyone else also relaxed and the other youkai continued their own activities. Some joined them but most were content in simply watching recognizing a mated female and courted ningen. Most didn't dare approach the miko though, instincts warning them away from her enough that she wasn't really bothered and she preferred it that way.

When Ami expressed the desire to rest all three went to sit at the bar, tired and content with their activities. Kagome listened as her two friends chatted happily about this guy or that guy but she didn't join in. Content in just listening to the fact they were having a good time that was what really mattered to her anyway.

"Hey, you're that Miko that was with Sesshomaru-sama during the gala."

Kagome blinked before turning to face lavender eyes and tousled white hair. She tensed, prepared for a biting barb as she confirmed it. "What of it?"

He smiled and she was surprised by the warmth behind it as he held out his hand for her to _shake_. She blinked before slipping her hand into his and feeling the roiling youki underneath his skin. "It's nice to meet you in person. You were the talk of the night for a while. You two disappeared though."

Something twisted in her gut but she let a hesitant smile curl her lips. "I really didn't mean to cause such a…scene but that wolf was asking for it."

Lavender eyes flickered to the human girl who was too immersed in her conversation to hear anything. However, violet eyes watched him and he winked in response. Kagome glanced back and her lips turned up in a true grin at Nala's slightly affronted look.

"There we go. That looks much better."

Blue eyes found lavender and she looked at him confused. "That smile. It looks much better on your face than that look from earlier. Good to know and old guy like me can still put a smile on a pretty girl's lips."

Kagome was surprised by the amusement that filtered into her emotions at his last words. Leaning her cheek against her hand she let her amusement dance across her lips as she spoke, "Shouldn't you be afraid of the big bad miko like most of your companions are?"

A wicked glint entered his eyes as he grinned widely at her as he sat across from her. "Ryu are rarely ever afraid of _true_ power…generally we're _attracted_ by it."

Ryu, dragon, of course that explained the power she felt and he said it in a way that hinted he didn't mean dragon _youkai_ but a _true_ dragon. Curiosity filled her and she asked playfully, "Are you _flirting_ with me?"

He chuckled softly and said, "Depends…is it working?"

Much to Kagome's shock as well as her two friends since it jolted them out of their conversation. Kagome _laughed_, a real _true_ laugh.

(OoO)

Allen as she had soon learned his name was, was as lively as she once was. He liked adventures, traveling and had loved the Cairo desert of Egypt. He shared his stories with her and she in turn opened herself up to him. For the months that steadily signaled the end of her second year coming he turned into a friend that was irreplaceable. If she was honest with herself, he reminded her greatly of Miroku with his playful flirting and innocent advances. She suspected Nala had threatened him severely if he ever _actually_ hit on her. That and she'd told him that her heart and soul belonged somewhere else. She could still remember that conversation clearly.

"_You're friend Nala is scary protective."_

_Kagome laughed lightly, shaking her head as she picked up the files scattered on her bed room floor. "I suppose she has a bit of a right to be. I've got a very possessive, power hungry, and __**old**__ dragon after me."_

_He gave her a mock wounded look as he said, "Kagome my love! How could you use my age against me?! Don't you know numbers don't matter?"_

_She laughed, throwing her head back as she collapsed on the bed next to him. "Oh don't even give me that. We both know you're happy with your age."_

_He huffed and a puff of smoke shot out his nose much to her amusement. They were quiet for a while before he said slowly, "You are soul weary."_

_She blinked in surprise before looking at him perturbed. "How do you know that?"_

_He shrugged, not looking at her as he said, "Most ryu can tell or rather read it from a creature's aura. To us dragon's the soul is the most fascinating thing and ningen souls are __**beautiful**__ to us. It is like a kaleidoscope of colors that are so very bright, it nearly rivals the stars."_

_A smile curled his lips and sharp teeth flashed through the fond look before lavender that held no pupils rested on hers. "However, yours…yours is so very, very small and only flickers colors I am sure were much brighter on that gala night."_

_She looked at him in wonder and awe for a moment before she looked away. "It is because my soul's mate is gone…he has left me here…alone. He has rejected my love for him and the love he has for me."_

_Kagome felt his eyes on her for a long while before he finally said, "Then he is a fool. A treasure is meant to be horded and jealously protected. You little miko, are meant for much more."_

_The little miko laughed lightly, remembering another who called her 'little miko' once upon a time. "Yes well…we can rarely control who our souls are tied to and I am irrevocably bound to him."_

_Allen hummed softly in acknowledgement and agreement as their conversation lulled into a companionable silence._

"You, where are you?" Kagome blinked and looked up into flickering lavender eyes and smiled warmly. "I was around."

His grin stretched across his lips as Allen sat beside her on a bench and they watched the snow fall. "Christmas is not far."

Blue eyes flickered to the dragon beside her and she hummed softly in agreement. "I will be going back to Egypt soon…and then maybe visit the British Isles."

Kagome felt her heart drop to her stomach at his words and she looked at him. He gave her a wan smile and said softly, "Come now don't look like that. It isn't goodbye forever. I'll visit often. There is no way I can let a treasure like you go _forever_."

Her lips turned up into a trembling smile. He'd become a big part of her, someone she depended on to keep her stable. It wasn't fair to him when she could so easily see that while he innocently teased her there was a hint of _true_ affection for her. However, she would _miss_ him. Everything felt so natural with the dragon, as though she'd known him all her life. She didn't realize she was crying until he gently wiped her tears and said, "There, there now little miko. Enough of that or else I will refuse to go or better yet I will kidnap you."

She laughed at his words and smiled warmly at him as she wiped her face. Kagome caught a curious look on his face and gave him a questioning one.

"I was merely thinking that I wouldn't be surprised if our soul's had met once before…From the moment I saw you I felt as though I _knew_ you."

"Perhaps…in a former life." He chuckled softly and said echoing her, "Perhaps…"

Allen stood up and offered her his hand, contently she took it and they walked back to her home like that. "You will take pictures?"

"Lots of them."

"Ad you'll bring me souvenirs?"

"I'll bring you the pyramids!"

She laughed softly once more and he looked at her wistfully. "I will miss your laugh. It flares your aura up into a pretty gold that I have never seen on a ningen."

Kagome blinked before she smiled and asked as they walked, "What do my emotions look like?"

He made a thoughtful sound in the back of his throat and she noticed his bodies temperature raised a bit when she shivered. Kagome wondered if he did it unconsciously for her as he began to list them off with a thoughtful tone. 

"Amusement or your laughter is gold. Your annoyance is a cinnamon brown. I have yet to see your anger but I can imagine it would be a wine red…You're happiness is almost a vanilla crème white. Your sadness…your sadness is a deep blue like the ocean…or your eyes but your love…ah little miko your love is indescribable. It is a color I have never seen in my long life and I would never wish to with its purity. The one that has your heart and soul truly is lucky."

A small sad smile touched her lips as they finally reached her home and she turned to him. "Do not be a stranger."

He gave her a solemn look and said gravely as he put his hand over his heart, "I solemnly swear."

She laughed loudly and slapped his arm playfully making him chuckle. "Do not forget you still have not shown me your true form, Aren."

Allen's lips quirked up at her pronunciation of his name as his lavender eyes flickered reptilian for a second before he bowed. "Of course, your ladyship how could I forget."

Kagome rolled her eyes before sobering a little as they looked at each other. "I will see if I can visit one more time on Christmas day before I leave."

The petite young woman wavered before smiling as she nodded her head slightly. He seemed to hesitate before his eyes flickered over her shoulder for a second. His expression seemed to harden with some determination and he leaned forward, pressing his lips against her crown for a second before pulling away with a fond smile, "You be a good little miko while I'm gone and tell your friends I said good bye. It appears my presence is no longer accepted."

Kagome blinked, not understanding as he let out a laugh as he waved while he walked away. She frowned after him but froze when she felt an all too familiar flaring behind her. However, she didn't turn around and look like she might have all those months ago. She stayed where she stood and refused to turn around in fear.

"Do not be insufferable, Kagome."

Suddenly, Kagome understood all too well what her mother had meant when she said papa saying her name was _different_. She knew because the moment she heard her name on his lips the ice that had frozen her in place cracked and then shattered. All too suddenly she was kneeling down on the ground sobbing violently into her hands and all she could think was _'Thank you. Thank you for bringing him back to me.'_

_TBC…_

**A/N:** That is the end of year two and if you guys are expecting things to get easier…don't. These two have a LOT to work out now and for those of you not understanding the point of Allen/The dragon, you'll understand in the second part of this series. Mainly though he was her 'crutch' and her 'life support' in a way because he reminded her so much of Miroku and therefore her home in the past. He plays a bigger part in the second story of this two part series so don't worry he wasn't thrown in there randomly.


	16. Chapter 16

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:**

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*16*_

"I'm sorry, she's not talking to intolerable inu youkai who have emotional stumps and a tendency of running away today either."

Nala smiled pleasantly at him but he saw the dangerous glint in her eyes as she examined her nails that were currently glowing with the threat of poison. He felt a low threatening growl begin to rise as he took a step towards her and suddenly her smile turned steely as she hissed out, "I _dare_ you take another step."

Sesshomaru went to do just that but a flare of reiki and a too close lash of it near him was clear enough warning. Kagome might not be seeing him but she knew he was near and she knew his temper. Nala raised an eyebrow at him, a clear challenge for him to ignore her warning and come at her. A part of him was sorely tempted to but previous experiences with Kagome's purity told him that if Kagome was as serious as her aura said she was, he'd be in trouble. Letting out another low growl he turned and strode away, a part of him knowing it was his fault things had come to this.

Nala watched before she turned and entered the house with a self-satisfied air before she met steely blue eyes. She froze for a moment before giving her a nervous smile, "I _know_, I _know_. Provoking him is unnecessary. But really Kagome-chan he pisses me off."

The petite but still quite scary when she wanted to be miko huffed softly and turned around. Nala hesitated before following behind figuring she was slightly forgiven. She was quiet for a moment as they sat in the living room before she asked, "Are you ever going to talk to him?"

Kagome was quiet for a moment before she said softly, "Of course….but he was _gone_, Nala. He was gone and suddenly he appears and…and I don't _know_. Everything in me is just jumbled and _angry_."

Nala hummed softly before she said carefully, "As much as I'm pissed with the old dog…he has his…_reasons_."

The look Kagome shot her was enough to curdle milk and the demonness shuddered involuntarily. "I'm not saying I _agree_ with the way he went about it! Just that…there are _reasons_."

She felt the little miko's reiki flare wildly and she nearly screamed out, "That's the _problem_. Everyone seems so sure how the future, past or whatever is going to turn out! What about what _I_ want to happen?! Is fate going to dictate my life forever?!"

Nala hesitated before she said quietly, "Don't try to fight fate Kagome…the consequences never turn out for the best."

The miko shot her a dirty look and she growled out, "Yeah? Well I think I deserve to. Fate _owes_ me after everything its put me through."

Nala sighed before laying a quick peck on Kagome's crown as she turned to walk away, "Just _talk_ to him…_soon_. He might revert back to his old ways and go on a killing spree otherwise."

Kagome snorted but didn't reply as the demonness closed the door behind her. With a soft sight she climbed the stairs to her room and immediately her eyes fell on the necklace Sesshomaru had gotten her last Christmas. She looked at it for a long moment before narrowing her eyes and silently cursing her friends reasoning. Now she was going to _have_ to talk to the taiyoukai to find out _why_.

(OoO)

When he had opened his door at the soft knock he'd known it was her from the flaring reiki. He'd also known she had not come to cry at his feet from the simple fact that her flaring reiki was _pissed_ and when he did open the door he wasn't disappointed. He'd always seen that look shot at Inuyasha but he'd never been on the receiving end of such anger. He finally understood why it cowed the hanyo as if he'd been anyone else he'd have taken _several_ steps back. However, Sesshomaru merely stepped out of her way and opened the door wider. She made a rude sound at the back of her throat and strode past him to the couch in the living room. Her scent was faint but a permanent fixture in the pent house after he'd left and she'd continued to come. Sometimes…guiltily he'd come to watch her sleep before leaving again.

"_Well_?"

Sesshomaru blinked out of his thoughts and said the first thing that came to mind. "I had no idea you were acquainted with a ryu."

Her eyes flashed dangerously and her reiki flared violently as she barely kept it under control. Her voice was quiet and cold as her eyes narrowed in on him. "_What_…"

A part of him demanded to back pedal however the part that still had his pride hardened and he glared slightly, "I will not repeat myself, woman."

Sesshomaru had never thought Kagome would ever actually strike him but before he knew it she was off the couch and there was a shooting pain against his cheek. Kagome clutched her hand to her chest as he blinked rapidly trying to process _what_ just happened and there were angry tears in her eyes as she hissed out, "You've got some _nerve_. You _left_…you _ran_ –shut _up_!"

He was a little shocked at the venom in her voice at the last words and it successfully cut off the growl that had begun to rise. Her chest was heaving as she tried to keep her temper and reiki under control as she glared at the taiyoukai. "But that wasn't the worst of it…it wasn't enough that _you_ left. You. Took. _Shippo_."

This time the he stepped back at the quiet fury she radiated and his mind scrambled to think of what she meant. He took Shippo? He blinked before voicing his confusion, "The kit is gone?"

He suddenly found himself nearly blasted through his penthouse wall as Kagome screamed shrilly, "_Stop! Stop doing this!_"

He growled as he lifted himself from the floor and yelled back, "Damn it, woman! I have not spoken to the kit!"

"_I hate you! I hate you! You're nothing but an asshole and I don't know why I even care!"_

A sharp pain shot through him and he growled out, "You think I'm happy about this?! To have these _feelings _for-"

"_Shut up! You! You aren't allowed to say anything! I'm talking now._" He watched her as her chest heaved with her rage and her eyes almost glowed with anger. Grudgingly a small part of him found her beautiful even though the rational part of him tried to rebel against the idea.

"You love me."

He froze and the part that still clung to his pride tried to make him deny it. As though sensing what he was about to say her eyes glinted dangerously and she said, "Do _not_ deny it."

Sesshomaru was quiet for a moment before stiffly nodding his head. Something seemed to soften slightly in her gaze but steeled over as she growled out, "Then _why_? _Why_ would you _do_ that to us?"

"_You die_." She blinked at his hoarse quiet words and her eyes widened with shock first before understanding lit them. "…the human woman…"

He looked away from her watery gaze, something inside him twisted violently. He tensed when she reached out for him and stepped away from her touch. He saw the hurt look flash across her face before she sighed and said, "That doesn't excuse you for taking Shippo."

The taiyoukai growled in annoyance, "Woman, did you not hear me when I said I have not seen the kit."

Her reiki flared impressively with her sudden annoyance and she glared at him. "Then _where_ is he and how _convenient_ is it that he just up and left around the time _you_ did."

Sesshomaru shot her a cold look before he said stiffly, "I do not know. He is _your_ son."

"You were _his_ guardian."

They were quiet for a while and she rubbed her temples quietly, "Let's just…just stop. I don't want to fight anymore…I'm too tired."

For the first time since he came back a month ago, he allowed himself to _really_ look at her. She _looked_ tired and _thin_, far too thin to be healthy. A part of him wondered if _he_ did this and felt sorry for it.

"You're not forgiven yet…I can…_understand_ why you left but…that doesn't excuse the way you did it or how long you were gone for…"

A small part of him wanted to snort and say he did not need her forgiveness but the part that liked being near her accepted it. Thinking that at some point this year she would be gone, he accepted it as well. Dipping his head slightly in a nod he said, "That is…reasonable….so long as I am not blasted through anymore walls."

He was relieved to see the slight quirk of her lips upward and shot him a look. "I can't make any promises when stubborn Inu's have a bad tendency of getting on my nerve."

She made a soft humming sound and said thoughtfully, "I wonder if it's a family trait."

He scoffed softly, knowing she was referring to Inuyasha and wasn't the least bit pleased at that. However, the slight quirk on her lips was enough to pacify him for now. They weren't fixed, he wasn't forgiven but at least now they were _talking_.

_TBC…_


	17. Chapter 17

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:** Surprised to say this but TGWAS is almost done. I'm thinking a total of three or four more chapters and it'll be the end of the first part. I have to start planning out _'To the Promise of Meeting Once More…'_ Not to mention I still have to continue _'Through the Looking Glass'_ which is my other SessKag fic. I swear I do it to myself X.x Back on track though, it's a little sad to think this one is coming to an end but you guys can definitely look forward to the second part! Thank you guys for all your constant support and love. You make it worth all the hair pulling as my sweat and tears go into this lol. Here's another chapter and I hope you guys enjoy it!

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*17*_

Through the past week Sesshomaru had learned Kagome was very good at holding grudges and she did not always forgive easily. There were times where she ignored him completely and other times where she got somewhat snippy with him. All the while Nala found everything exceedingly amusing as she watched him try to get back into Kagome's good graces. It didn't help that the kitsune and his family were still missing setting the Miko on edge. It wasn't until the end of the week that Kagome softened towards him and he had Shippo to thank for that. Although he did feel sorry for the tongue lashing the kit received.  
_Sesshomaru sat quietly in the Higurashi household living room as he watched Nala and Kagome chat contently. Kagome hadn't been letting him out of her sight for long and he found he didn't really mind if that kept her pacified. Himiko Higurashi gave him a sympathetic look as she entered and handed him some tea. He gave her a grateful nod of his head before taking a sip. Not two seconds later his phone went off, startling the women across from him. Kagome shot him an annoyed look but he merely shrugged. _

_"Are you going to get that?"  
He arched a brow and asked flatly, I do not know. Am I allowed to?"  
The girl shot him a heated look and he wisely picked up the phone, noticing he didn't recognize the number. "Moshi, moshi."  
"Aa! Sesshomaru-sama!" He blinked before connecting a face to the voice. "Shippo?"  
There was a slight laugh before the Kitsune said, "Yeah, it's me. Surprised you?"  
Suddenly there was a hand in his line of sight demanding his phone and he looked up to meet Kagome's stormy eyes. Slowly he handed the phone over and silently apologized to the kit.  
"Shippo...?"_

_"..."  
"You! Do you know how worried sick we were?! What were you thinking just leaving without a word?!"_

"You need to start thinking before you act! You're a father and a grown man now. Put Souten on the phone."

"I heard you now put your mate on the phone."

"Hello? Yes how are you? And the kits?"

"I'm sure you did. No I'm not upset with you. Your pregnant these things happen. He on the other hand should know better."

"Yes okay. Could you put him back on please?"  
Sesshomaru winced as once again the petite young woman started in on the kit with even more vehemence.  
After that Kagome had calmed down since much to his relief and her reiki no longer flared dangerously. Like it used to her reiki seemed rest just beneath the surface and she smiled at him more. There was no longer the tension that could almost be cut with a knife or the smothering guilt...or at least not as much. The one thing he reluctantly missed was the nickname since that at least told him she wasn't pissed at him.  
Gold eyes glanced up as Nala entered his office and gave her a slight glower. Her lips curved into a mocking grin and he had half a mind to rip out her throat right then and there. She'd been taking far too much pleasure in his misery the past few days but he knew Kagome would fly into another rage if he put the female in her place.

"Get out."

His growl was low but Nala merely grinned some more. "You know you act all big and tough but if you really hated me you'd have killed me long ago. Ah! If you're going to threaten me at least give me a reason why you haven't done it yet."

He glared heatedly before he stated grudgingly, "I would have to look for another efficient assistant…and you have your…_uses_."

She blinked before throwing her head back as she laughed and his hackles rose. Waving away his affronted look she said, "Oh stop, you're well aware it's not you I laugh at."

Nala gave him a mildly fond look as she said, "You're such a big softie."

He scoffed softly and continued with the work on his desk, deciding to ignore her existence for the time being. Sesshomaru could feel her eyes on him for a long while before she said softly, "She's been good for you…I don't think I've seen you the way you've been since her return in a _long_ time."

Sesshomaru's eyes flickered up to her for a moment before looking back down as he said tiredly, "Must we do this now?"

The woman gave him a sympathetic look before making herself comfortable in a chair across from him and said softly, "Yes, we must because this is why you like having me around. We must because if everything you've told me is right sometime this year she will go back. We must because in two years she will die. We must because you promised your late little brother that you would do the right thing and let her go."

Gold eyes looked up at her sharply in surprise, he'd never said anything…to _anyone_. The woman smiled sadly and said, "Shippo told me he'd been hiding in the bushes and heard your conversation."

She took a shaky breath and said, "He told me that Inuyasha had figured out your feelings for her and had made you promise if you ever met her in the future. You _had_ to let her go because she was _his_."

His eyes closed and an ache he'd forgotten renewed. He hadn't complete understood his little brother's words but now he did. Somehow he'd _known_ what they would feel for each other and had asked ahead of time for him to let her go. Had made him _promise_ on his _honor_ that he would have her return to the hanyo. He'd never regretted anything so much as he did now. What a fool he had been…Now he was paying for it.

They were quiet for a while before Nala asked softly, "What will you do…?"

His eyes closed and he said softly, "What is _right_…I will let her go."

Her eyes hardened slightly and she said, "Even knowing how she feels about you?"

He looked away from his friend since puphood and said softly, "She belongs to him…I _promised_."

Nala stood up sharply but he did not look at her and her eyes softened as she said softly, "Sometimes…you are too honorable. What has happened to the Sesshomaru-sama that did as he pleased?"

When gold eyes met violet, Nala say something haunted in those eyes as he said softly. "He died when she did."

Nala shuddered before the mask was on again and the Lord of the West was in front of her again. "Leave. I have work to finish, woman."

She gave him an affronted look before sniffing in offence and said, "Fine but _you_ smell like wet dog."

Without another word and leaving a bewildered inu behind, she stormed out of his office.

(OoO)

Kagome blinked as she stared into gold eyes and let out an unintelligible. "Huh?"

A faint twitch of his lips let her know it had amused him and she shot him an annoyed look. It'd been a total of three months since he'd come back and things were easing back into place. There were still moments were tension was thick but this was not one of them.

"Pack. We are going on a trip."

She blinked at him again before blinking at an amused Nala then at her mother who also seemed amused. The little miko had been dragged from her bed and bluntly told to pack. Her brain was still trying to catch and therefore her next words were as she turned to walk away.

"Excuse me give me about five more hours and then you can tell me that again."

Nala laughed and caught her by the arm before she could go too far. The miko gave her a disgruntled look as she tried to pry the clinging spider youkai from her arm. "Gome don't be that way. We need to spend as much time together as possible!"

Kagome maid a disgusted sound and grumped, "We can do that after I get my necessary fifteen hour rest after the exam season."

"Exactly we have to celebrate you graduating!"

Sighing as she finally gave up trying to get the woman off of her she gave the taiyoukai a flat look and gestured to the woman. "If you'd please."

He cracked his knuckles threateningly and took a step towards the woman as he murmured, "With pleasure."

The woman back pedaled as she complained loudly, "You're such a _bear_ in the morning Gome-chan. Are you sure you're not related to Ito?"

Kagome sniffed loudly and stated petulantly, "I wouldn't be such a bear if a _certain_ demonness didn't bodily lift me from my bed and dump me on the floor."

Nala gave her an amused look and said, "I tried to wake you the regular way. Not my fault you're a heavy sleeper."

The girl rolled her eyes before looking at Sesshomaru and asking, "So where is it we're going? More details please."

He gave Nala a thoughtful look before looking at Kagome to answer her question. "We are going to a hot spring resort close to Shirahama beach."

The inu watched as she slowly processed that and a light came into her eyes as excitement over came her. Squealing she laughed loudly and asked, "Are we really going to get to enjoy them?!"

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You are in need of a reward and I am aware of your love of them."

She blushed brightly and he watched her closely in curiosity, knowing she was pleased that he was aware of that. She quickly covered it up with annoyance as she grumped, "Can't you sound at least a little excited about it?"

Considering that they seemed to be able to bicker lightly like they used to he decided to try something he hadn't dared to before. He slowly arched his eye brow in a condescending manner and instantly smelled the spicy cinnamon scent of her annoyance. She threw up her hands in frustration much to his amusement as she twirled away.

"Gah! Why do you even bother!?"

He smirked lightly and let out a soft, "Hn…"

(OoO)

Kagome walked through the onsen resort slowly, enjoying the warmth that seemed to seep through the wood. She wore a yukata decorated with flying birds and twisting designs symbolizing the wind. It was a soft pale blue that the host had thought would fit her perfectly. As she slowly walked back to her room, her hair still somewhat damp from being in the onsen just a few moments ago, she noticed Sesshomaru's room door was cracked open a bit. She hesitated for only a moment before peeking in and catching sight of him on the balcony overlooking everything. There was something…sad yet powerful about the way he stood there in a yukata, his hands folded inside the sleeves and his back straight.

"Are you going to stay by the door spying?"

She blinked before scowling at his back and marching to his side with a soft huff. He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes and she could see the amused glint in them. Her eyes narrowed and she said somewhat playfully, "If I didn't know better I think you like getting me annoyed."

"Hn." His eyes trailed back out towards the view and she rolled her eyes at his grunt but knew it for what it was. She leaned against the railing and looked at the view in quiet companionship. Standing there like that a thought popped into her head and she asked quietly, "Do you ever miss it?"

He was quiet for a while before he asked just as quietly, "What of you?"

Kagome felt a small ache as she thought of her friends and she answered truthfully, "Yes…"

She didn't notice the slow painful close of his eyes as though he'd come to a decision before he opened them again. She thought he wouldn't answer her and was prepared to ask again when he spoke.

"Yes…I miss roaming my lands. I miss the simplicity of it…I miss days with Jaken and Rin. I miss…"

The petite woman waited for him to continue but he didn't and for once she didn't feel the need to push for answers. A part of her knew what he was going to say anyway and she didn't want to cause any more pain. She was content that they were almost okay with each other now even if certain things still set things off, mostly his avoidance of touch and her not really liking him out of her sight.

When had they begun to think of those times as simple? Was what she really wondered as Kagome returned to looking out over the view once more.

_TBC…_


	18. Chapter 18

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**Author's Note:** Surprised to say this but TGWAS is almost done. I'm thinking a total of three or four more chapters and it'll be the end of the first part. I have to start planning out _'To the Promise of Meeting Once More…'_ Not to mention I still have to continue _'Through the Looking Glass'_ which is my other SessKag fic. I swear I do it to myself X.x Back on track though, it's a little sad to think this one is coming to an end but you guys can definitely look forward to the second part! Thank you guys for all your constant support and love. You make it worth all the hair pulling as my sweat and tears go into this lol. Here's another chapter and I hope you guys enjoy it!

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*18*_

Kagome sighed contently as she laid across Nala's lap, the demonness running her clawed fingers through raven locks. Blue eyes lazily watched as Sesshomaru worked on his computer with mild interest. Once in a while he'd glance up and meet her eyes but otherwise he pretended not to notice. "Ne, Sesshomaru is rich right?"

Nala snorted rudely and said, "Filthy rich."

"Then why doesn't he live in a mansion or something." Nala grinned at the taiyoukai's back as he tensed slightly. "Something about having an unfair advantage over the rest of the humans...that and he can't be bothered."

Both women found it mildly amusing that the taiyoukai was _clearly_ uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. "But isn't a pent house a sign of that _unfair_ advantage?"

He let out a low growl and shot Nala an annoyed look and she closed her grinning mouth before answering Kagome's question. He then pinned the miko with an equally annoyed glare and gritted out, "Is there something you are trying to tell me, Higurashi?"

The look she gave him was like the cat who caught the canary, equal parts amused and predatory as though she was thoroughly satisfied. It immediately put his instincts on alert and he sat up straighter in his seat as he narrowed his eyes at her. He was _not_ going to like whatever she had to say.

"We should go to the beach…"

He blinked, "No."

He turned around refusing to look at her pouting face at his blunt and prompt rejection. "But _Sessho_, I'm _bored_."

The great taiyoukai gave her a sour look and she instantly grinned again. Two months prior the miko had begun to use the nickname and quickly learned he bent to her will quite easily when she used it. It was thoroughly if not _entirely_ frustrating. He huffed softly and _tried_ to resist as he growled out, "Take out Nala and your other female friend. You are being insufferable, I am a business man."

"Youkai."

She corrected impishly and got a glare thrown at her for her trouble but she merely laughed lightly. "Come on, you chased away my dragon. It's only right that you come in his stead."

His mood darkened at the reminder of man-dragon that had visited not but a week ago. Impudent creature hung around the miko far too much for his liking and kept _provoking_ him. Of course _Kagome_ didn't see that way. He didn't like him and he certainly didn't trust him. He growled softly as he said again, "I am working."

"Then let's go _after_ you finish."

"That is-"

"_Sesshomaru._" His mouth clicked shut at the tone and he glanced at the miko, scenting her annoyance. "_You_ are being unreasonable."

He knew she was right…but they were losing time. He wanted to keep her here in his apartment and away from anything that could take her away from him. She must have seen something in his face –she was getting entirely too good at reading him- because her features softened and she said quietly,

"It's only the beach."

He wavered for a moment before deflating, "Fine…we shall go."

Both women squealed loudly making the taiyoukai wince at their volume before racing out the house to go pick out swimsuits.

(OoO)

Sesshomaru felt nothing but disgust at the grainy feel of sand all over his skin. He could practically _see_ it being trailed all over his house as he and Kagome returned to his pent house. The young woman was sporting slightly red but tanned skin as she stretched out on the couch having jumped into the shower first.

"Oh stop, it's not that bad."

He gave her a flat look and said blandly, "I forget you ningen do not have the enhanced senses we do."

Knowing that was a jibe at her she shot him a dirty look before deciding to ignore him entirely. He raised an eyebrow before turning to go take a shower as well, deciding he was going to take a _long_ shower. He made a mental note to _never_ go to the beach again…_ever_.

When he exited the bathroom, refreshed and feeling _much_ less grainy he froze at the fact Kagome was no longer on the couch. However, at her faint aura out on the veranda he relaxed and slowly moved towards there, toweling his hair dry as he walked. He watched her from the doorway for a moment as she leaned against the railing and looked over the city. She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes before looking back out towards the city and he stepped forward, standing beside her. He was instantly hit by the memory of when they'd stood like this two months ago at the onsen resort. The taiyoukai went to beat a silent retreat when her voice stopped him before he'd even taken a step.

"When did I go back?"

Gold eyes glanced sharply at her and he said, "I do not think it is wise to speak of it."

Kagome smiled slightly and said lightly, "Yet you will."

He blinked and realized she was right…if she asked. He would tell her…at least as much as he could bare. So he nodded his head slowly and grew quiet as he thought about how to say what had to be said.

"You came back when the wind began to blow and the air became crisp."

She blinked before her head snapped towards him as she looked at him dismayed. "That is the end of this month."

He nodded slightly before he said, "Or the beginning of the next."

She looked at him slightly upset and asked, "Where you going to leave me to ignorance?"

The great dog demon sighed, "I had been hoping to spare you. Is not the adage 'Ignorance is bliss it is folly to be wise'?"

The little miko wavered slightly before she said, "Is that why you've been working more and more at home…to spend time with me?"

His heart twisted and he nodded his head minutely. She looked at him and said, "I'll come back…I _will_."

Sesshomaru gave her a small little smile that she'd never seen on his face before. "You do not know that."

The young woman frowned lightly at him before looking back at the city lights under them. "I am sad then…"

He shakes his head, "Not at first…you are happy cause you are with them…I do not know when but at some point when I come to visit…you've fallen into despair."

She frowns at that, wondering what it could be to make her so sad. Why would she stay with Inuyasha when it is Sesshomaru she loves? She still loved the hanyo but it was obvious to her now she did not _belong_ with him. What changed? What _happened_?

Sesshomaru watched as she lost herself into her thoughts and not for the first time he wished he could be privy to them. Letting out a soft sigh he took a step back, "I am to retire for the night. I would suggest you do the same, Higurashi."

She looked behind herself at him and smiled lightly, "Alight…_alright_. I'll come in, in a minute."

He hesitated before nodding his head and turning away from her. They were losing time…and he still had yet to tell her.

(OoO)

Kagome watched the taiyoukai as he growled and threatened Ito about his mate as Nala merely continued to egg the youkai on. The petite woman had begun to notice with increasing alarm that the taiyoukai was growing more and more reserved as the days passed. Soon enough the day of her departure would be upon them and she still had not figured out why she ended up staying. She'd been staying close to the taiyoukai the past few days and noticed how he seemed to relax at her close proximity. However, whenever she reached for him he found a convenient excuse to move out of her reach. They had not touched since that night at the gala and she could not understand why he flinched from her touch.

If she was honest she kept away from home not just for Sesshomaru but because she'd begun to feel the well's power stir. It was like a sleeping lion, slowly waking from a long slumber and stretching out one limb at a time. She hadn't said anything but she was sure the taiyoukai suspected something but out of respect for her privacy he kept quiet. "-gome!"

The girl blinked and looked up into Nala's concerned face. "Where were you? We've been calling your name for the past few minutes."

She blinked again and her eyes fail on the concerned frown of the taiyoukai. She gave him a reassuring smile before passing it to Nala, "I'm sorry. I just haven't been sleeping very well lately."

They all knew it was a lie but deciding not to push the issue. Instead a smile grew on the woman's face and she sat back in the seat across from the girl as she said, "Big dog was just saying that he was going to rip my face off."

Kagome grimaced at the mental image and gave them both a disgusted face, "Aren't you supposed to be _friends_? You sure got a funny way of showing it."

Sesshomaru scoffed and Nala laughed as she said, "Oh he loves me and my tough love."

"Ito. Your mate. Remove her."

Ito gave Sesshomaru a nervous chuckle as he said, "I'm sorry Sesshomaru but you don't live with her. This is one order I can't obey."

Nala seemed to preen and she cooed happily, "Women have the ultimate power over their mates. Remember that Sesshomaru."

"I'd prefer if you simply disappeared."

"What so you can hog Kagome-chan all to yourself? Absolutely not!"

Kagome giggled as the inu growled, seriously considering simply throwing everyone out. The miko curled up a little on the floor by Nala's feet as she looked at Sesshomaru. "Certainly you don't mind _sharing_ me, do you _Sessho_?"

He shot her an annoyed look before getting up and marching into his room, closing it behind him with a finality that sent both women into a giggling fit. Kagome sighed slowly as she listened to Nala chatter happily, switching her attention between Kagome and Ito as she did. The petite woman smiled slightly, wistfully as she thought _'I'm going to miss this.'_ Kagome blinked before frowning lightly, what was she thinking? She'd be back whether fate liked it or not. She was only going to tell Inuyasha everything before coming back to be with Sesshomaru. She wouldn't let his past play out. She wasn't going to die and leave him, no matter what. She'd be back.

_TBC…_

**A/N:** Officially it will be the next chapter as the last chapter and then the epilogue. I might have it done later today or else I'll post them tomorrow. Hope you guys enjoyed this little filler chapter and are looking forward to the next one. Everything should be explained then as well as in the second part.


	19. Chapter 19

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*19*_

Kagome looked out the window of Ami's room as a crisp wind blew and the leaves on the trees began to turn colors. She remembered Sesshomaru's words about when she would return to the past and vaguely wondered when it would be exactly.

"Kagome?"

Blue eyes looked up at her friend's questioning gaze and smiled wanly. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

Her small friend smiled slightly and began to talk about their graduation ceremony. Kagome listened, inserting her own comment when it was proper but her thoughts were lost in the image of gold eyes. As though her thoughts summoned him the petite young woman felt a flare of youki behind her. She blinked in surprise before looking out the window quickly and noticed the taiyoukai staring up at her. He wore a navy blue button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black pants. Looking up at her with such a warm gaze, there was suddenly something breath taking about him.

She didn't even realize she was smiling until her friend spoke. "Wipe that silly grin from your face and go to him already."

Kagome laughed lightly at her friend's words before doing just that.

(OoO)

Sesshomaru watched the leaves tremble on their branches as the wind blew and felt something curl in his stomach. August had gone by without too much trouble but that only made him worry that much more. The small part of him that wanted him to rebel demanded he damn his honor and promise and keep Kagome here. However, he would not do that. If she wanted to attempt to make the return, he would let her...after he told her everything.

"Sesshomaru?"

He turned at her soft utterance of his name and nearly felt his blood freeze as he took in what she wore. A pink cardigan over a black dress with a design on the hem. She must have seen the distress on his face because she looked down at herself and asked somewhat panicky, "What? What is it?"

He wavered before he finally got out, "You were wearing that when you returned."

Her shoulders slumped as she took in his meaning and said softly, "So today then..."

He looked away from her and after a moment she began to walk. He watched her for a second before falling into step beside her. They walked in silence, unsure of what to say to the other before Kagome broke the quiet.

"Will you tell me?"

His eyes closed and she watched him hide golden orbs from the world. They were the only ones outside since it was still quite early so most people were in their beds still. Sesshomaru wasn't wearing his glamour like he had back in Ami's front yard and Kagome was thankful for that. If anyone _did_ look out their window though she was sure all they would most likely see is a couple taking a walk together.

"When you first return you are happy. The monk and taijya have a surprise for you. However, when I return at the end of the week you are suffering but hiding it. In a month's time you and my brother are together...and you are together for two years before you die..."

Kagome idly wonders what happens between them and asks, "Do we ever talk?"

A small smile curls his lips and he says, "If you wish to call it conversing, yes. Rin grants us that opportunity."

Kagome chuckles slightly at that and glanced up, noticing they were getting closer to her home. "For a while Inuyasha blames me for not helping but I was so preoccupied with Rin's growing illness I never sensed the disturbance...not until Shippo comes to me."

Kagome looked at the taiyoukai when she recognized the pain in his voice. "I would not have blamed you."

He glanced at her and felt something loosen at her gentle tone. Brushing it away he looked up to see they were approaching the steps of the shrine. "After Rin dies Inuyasha and I reconcile. However...only a year after that Inuyasha also becomes ill. On his death bed he makes me_ promise_ to let you go back to him...that you were his."

A familiar anger burns in Kagome's chest at those last words and she growled out, "When have I ever been anyone's property?!"

He gave her an indulgent smile before he said softly, "Yet you are returning...for his sake."

She hesitated, wanting to deny it but a tiny part of her knew it was true. She realized in the same way a part of her mother _still_ belonged to her high school sweetheart. A part of her belonged to Inuyasha and she would _always_ love him. "...I still love you."

The taiyoukai's eyes closed monetarily before he said, "You also love him. Maybe not in the same way but you longed for him a good portion of your ningen life. That doesn't just go away, little miko."

Kagome blinked, he hadn't called her that in such a long time and suddenly she felt wary about going back. When they walked up the shrine steps her body clenched up as a jolt of blinding pain hit her similarly to that time in his home. However this time out was gone too fast for her to really comprehend much to her relief. Sesshomaru had frozen beside her but his eyes were on the well house. Once she could breathe again she knew why. Kagome could feel the pulsing power of the well from where they stood but neither really moved towards it.

"It's open..."

Kagome was surprised by the longing and happiness that was in her voice. With her days filled to the brim she hadn't been able to realize just how much she missed all of her friends till now. Unthinkingly she walked towards the well house like a sailor to a siren's song. She didn't realize when she opened the well house door or walked down its steps until her fingers gently stroked its wood.

"Hello old friend."

There was a rustle of a door closing behind her and she suddenly remembered about Sesshomaru. Turning around she noticed he watched her with an apathetic gaze that she knew was to protect himself. Slowly she smiled at him and asked softly, "Did I ever tell you what it feels like? Moving through time?"

He looked at her mildly thoughtful before shaking his head slightly. Closing her eyes she brought all her memories to the forefront of her mind.

"It is like moving through the ocean, slow and sluggish. However, it's also like the northern lights shimmering all around you. Yet...Yet it is warm much like mama's embrace..."

Kagome let out a little laugh at her explanation and for a long moment they simply watched each other. She could see a hopeful light in his eyes and wished she could tell him, she wasn't going to pass through the well but she suddenly felt a tug from deep within her. She _needed_ to see all of her friends. See that they had been able to live their life these last couple of years and that they were _okay_. She needed to tell Inuyasha that she couldn't be with him because she _belonged_ with Sesshomaru.

(OoO)

Sesshomaru watched her as she leaned against the well, something in him demanding he reach out and grab her in case she fell back. As they stared at each other he saw something so _familiar_ in her eyes that he couldn't help but _hope_ that she would change her mind and _stay_. However, her lips tipped in that wan smile that told him she was about to dash all of his hopes and he closed his eyes. She was standing not but two feet from him yet never in his life had she ever felt so _far_.

"I'll come back…I'll say hi to everyone and then I'll come back."

He opened his eyes slowly and merely nodded his head, not trusting his voice. She was so…_naïve_ and full of faith. Faith in a fate she believed owed her and would return her to him but he _knew_ better. "I'll see you."

Sesshomaru nodded his head and said softly, "Goodbye, Kagome."

He watched as she hesitated before turning from him and he nearly lunged for her but stopped himself, just barely. Her smile was bright as he watched her swing her legs over the side of the well and he knew that she was probably saying a soft prayer in her head the way she always did. He knew how this would end, had been there to see it play out.

He _knew_ yet…yet…he could not stop the sudden surge of longing and desperation that nearly swallowed him whole as he watched her lean forward. He could not stop it from sending his instincts into a flurry as she prepared to jump into the blue glowing magic of the well that he could not follow into. It moves him into action and for the first time since the night of the gala _he_ touches her.

Sesshomaru's sensitive ears catches the soft escape of air from her lips at the feel of his strong arms wrapped around her tightly, desperately from behind. He buries his face into the nape of her neck and into long cascading raven locks as he's _so_ longed to for _three_ years as restraint is forgotten. Engraving her scent into his memory even though it is engrained into everything in his pent house he takes a long greedy breath of her scent. He knows that for the rest of his long, nearly immortal life he will _never_ forget this scent of dawn and lilies and it will haunt him in his dreams.

"Sesshomaru…?"

He can hear the confusion in her voice along with the surprise but for a second he doesn't trust himself to speak. She is aware this is the first time he's touched her willingly and he suddenly regrets –Kami does he _regret_- letting foolish fear take all those opportunities from him.

Fate is _truly cruel_ he decides since he is all too aware of how this story will end but he _still_ cannot stop himself even though he _knows_ he is 500 hundred damn years too late. However, he wants this last futile attempt to defy it, maybe even win against it. So he lets all those damn walls he built fall and cast his pride to the wind.

"Don't go."

Sesshomaru could honestly say he'd never begged or pleaded before. Even when Rin was on her death bed he'd accepted it with as much grace as a father could. However, he did now pride be damned.

"I love you. Don't go."

She is silent for a while and he doesn't understand why until he feels something warm and wet fall on his arm and he smells the saltiness of her scent. His arms tighten around her, trying to comfort both of them as his face contorts with pain. She would go…She would not stay and he _knew it_ but he couldn't stop himself from pleading once more.

"_Please_, just…just don't _go_."

Kagome knew that it had to be big for him to throw his honor _and_ pride away to beg her to stay. However, what really shook her was the three words he'd _never_ uttered aloud. She couldn't though, she'd hate herself if she stayed and never said anything to her friends in the past. If she just abandoned them _and_ Shippo.

"How could you continue loving me if I ran from this?"

She felt his arms tighten more around her and Kagome turned into his arms until her face was buried in his chest. "I promise, I _swear_ I'll come back. I'll come back and we'll have all the time in the world."

"You…"

He trailed off before pulling away and her heart broke at the pain that he willing let contort his face into a grimace. Gold eyes shimmered with unshed tears and Kagome felt something in her crack at the tortured look in his eyes. However, he gave her a small smile and merely said, "Tell my younger self not to be such a pup."

Kagome hesitated before she said one last time, "I _promise_ I'll come back. We _will_ see each other again."

The little miko pushed herself off the ledge and never heard his whispered words.

_No you won't, Kagome…_

(OoO)

Kagome touched down on the other side and blinked. She could still feel the power of the well roiling around her and grinned. See! And there they were worrying about nothing! She stood up and took inventory of herself to make sure everything was in its rightful place. When she was satisfied with everything she slowly began her climb up and out of the well, excitement to see everyone quickly building up inside of her. When she finally vaulted herself over the edge of the well and was dusting her clothes off a familiar voice made her freeze.

"Kagome…?"

Slowly she lifted her eyes and met a tawny gaze set in a slightly rough features framed by snow white hair, topped with twitching triangular ears. Unthinkingly she launched herself at him with a happy cry as tears streamed down her face. "Inuyasha! Inuyasha!"

He easily caught her in his arms and crushed her to him, burying his nose in her hair to take a deep breath of her scent. He blinked however, when he faintly recognized another scent mixed in with her natural scent. Pulling away slight he opened his mouth to ask but at the sight of her happy tear strained face it was erased from his mind. Suddenly, the hanyo wanted nothing more than for the past three years to be a bad nightmare and keep the girl with him forever. Hugging her tightly to him once more, causing her to let out a tinkling laugh that he'd _missed_, Inuyasha felt at peace.

"Inuyasha why did you run –Lady Kagome?!"

Kagome laughed as she looked over Inuyasha's shoulder and met Miroku's surprised gaze. She grinned at the monk and threw herself at him next causing him to stumble a bit.

"Oh Miroku! Where is Sango?! Where is Shippo?!"

A small gentle smile curled the monk's lips and he said, "Sango is in the village along with little Shippo…you could not have picked a better time to come back. We have a surprise for you."

Her blue eyes lit up happily and she laughed lightly, "I cannot wait! I've missed you all so much."

As they walked away she glanced back, reassured by the pulsing of the well's power that it was still working before following behind the Monk. Smiling when Inuyasha entwined their fingers as they walked, content in having her friends around her once more.

To say she was surprised when she saw Sango was an understatement. The young woman was _pregnant_ and Kagome couldn't stop _grinning_ let alone _cooing_ at her adopted sister's belly. The two women had cried for _hours_ before Kagome laughingly scolded her since she was pregnant. Kagome spoiled her little kit, lavishing him with attention and apologizing for leaving him alone for so long. Vaguely she wondered if she might be able to take him back to the future with her and decided to give it a try when she was down making sure everyone would be fine without her.

She smiled at the thought, happy that everyone seemed to have been doing fine even after she had disappeared. A part of her wondered if anyone felt her loss as keenly that first year as she did but as she curled up around Shippo that night, she brushed it away with a content sigh. The well still worked and everyone seemed to be doing fine. She would stay to spend more time with Sango and explain everything to Inuyasha before going back to Sesshomaru. _Her_ Sesshomaru.

(OoO)

Kagome listened as the hanyo talked about what had been going on in the village since she'd left and smiled. He'd rarely left her side since she'd come back from her time four days ago and a small part of her felt sorry that she would have to tell him she couldn't remain with him. She wondered what _Inuyasha_ had been doing while she was gone because he never mentioned a word about how he had fared or how he had _felt_ during her time away. She was left to merely assume that he had missed her by the way he kept close.

"Kagome…bout the day you came back."

The little miko blinked before tuning into what Inuyasha was saying. His voice had been quiet and thoughtful, something that was _not_ the Inuyasha she knew. He gave her a considering look before he opened his mouth to continue but suddenly Miroku rushed through the trees. He looked worried and when his eyes landed on Kagome he rushed over. Instantly, the petite young woman felt something curl uneasily in her stomach.

"Lady Kagome! It's the well!"

Her eyes widened and her mind screamed at her as his words filtered in. "The power is gone. It is closed."

'_No…no…Kami-sama NO!'_ Her mind yelled and pleaded as suddenly she was running towards it. She'd been making sure to check every day that the comforting power of the well was always there. However, as she approached she felt _nothing_, no sign that it had even _been_ open. Kagome slowly collapsed in front of the quiet well, suddenly feeling all too empty and cold as tears slowly began to fall.

'_I should have listened to Sesshomaru…I shouldn't have taken so long…'_ She was deaf to her friend's voices as they tried to call her back to the living. However, all she could think as she kneeled in front of the well was how _cruel_ fate was to give her a _little_ hope that she might be able to prove them wrong and go home. Now…she had all the knowledge of the future and no way out.

_TBC…_


	20. Chapter 20: Epilogue

**Title:** To the Goodbyes We've already said…

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** angst, OOCness, Kagome'ness, tear-jerker, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKagome

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3 Cover Image Belongs to YoukaiYume and is the Inspiration of this story…

**Summary:** What is love? What is destiny? What are soul mates? She thought she knew but during the three years she's stuck on her side of the well Kagome will learn that sometimes the person your heart really wants is not who you think. However, will she be able to have him is the question? Or is it already too late? Time and fate are not always so giving.

**To the Goodbyes We've already said…**

_*Epilogue*_

Kagome scanned the herbs at her feet, looking for the one that would aid Kaede with her aching joints. It'd been three months since the well closed and for the first month she did not broach the subject of marriage with Inuyasha. However, the second month he became insistent and she asked him bluntly if he could really care for a woman who loved another. She'd never seen the hanyo's face twist with so much pain since Kikyo and regretted her harsh words. However, a week after the incident he'd quietly told her that he could accept that. That in turn for all the pain he caused her and her sadness he would be her friend. That he could better protect her if they were wed anyway. She had been so horrified at the idea of using him that she'd stepped away from him. However, he'd admitted that he was being selfish. That even if he could not have her heart, he still wanted _her_ even if it was only in title.

She'd been so tired and had wanted to spare him anymore pain that she thoughtlessly agreed. Now…now she spent day after day pretending to be happy for the sake of Inuyasha and a love she didn't want to destroy. Sometimes she _hated_ her selflessness and naivety.

"Kagome-hahaue?"

The young woman blinked before looking up at the soft girlish voice, catching sight of Rin hurrying over to her. She smiled softly, feeling a touch of sadness at the beginning of dark circles under the girl's eyes.

"Yes, Rin-chan?"

"I was wondering…You like having friends yes?"

Kagome laughed lightly and nodded her head as she said, "Yes, very much."

A large grin curled the little girl's lips and the miko felt warmth fill her. She'd come to adore the little girl and Rin had come to adore her in return much as Shippo had.

"Wait one second here then! I will bring a friend for Kagome-hahaue."

Kagome blinked as the little girl rushed off with mild amusement, wondering who she was going to get. However, she didn't have to wonder long as a familiar youki came her way and suddenly Rin was coming through the trees tugging a reluctant youkai lord along. Kagome felt her heart twist painfully and her features crumple for a split second at the familiar long silver hair and regal features.

"Kagome-hahaue, this is Sesshomaru-sama of the west. Would you like to talk with him?"

Letting a shaky smile curl her lips at the little girl she said softly, "Thank you, Rin-chan. I should very much like to talk to him."

"Hn."

Her blood froze at the familiar sound and she slowly looked up but the lord's face was facing away from her so she said, "If it would please my lord I would very much like to be friend's as well."

He blinked slowly in a way that was so similar to his older self that Kagome knew that it meant he was surprised and a real smile touched her lips. Golden orbs slowly turned towards her and suddenly, she recognized the emotion hidden deep within them that she'd never been able to decipher before…

_Longing_

**THE END**

**A/N:** That's that folks! When I have the first chapter of the second part released I will post up the sequel information here! The second part won't appear to be as rushed or short as this one is because I'm no longer working on a 'time limit' in a way. I hope you guys enjoyed this story and you guys can look forward to their happy ending in '_To the Promise of Meeting Once More…'_. Thank you everyone who's been so supportive of me and I hope this answered SOME of your questions. The second part will be a little clearer and less sad…sort of lol. After all fate and time are not so giving or kind.


	21. SEQUEL!

So there are a couple of chapters posted up of the sequel. NOthing grand or anything but starter chapters at most. Hope you guys look forward to more and I'll update as soon as i can :)

**Title: **To the Promise of Meeting Once More...

**Rating:** T

**Pairing:** SessKags (Will contain two surprise pairings.)

**Summary:** She'd failed and broken her promise to him. She had all this knowledge of what would happen and yet somehow fate found it funny to give her no options but to play it out. However, after some unexpected twists there's hope to be had…if only fate didn't find it so fun to throw monkey wrenches into her path. Can she find a way of keeping her promise? Or will she unknowingly shatter his heart completely?


End file.
